The water buffalo ambles beside her
On rice fields, submerged with water
The sun burns her face lined with serenity
And arms more golden than corn ears
The paddies, she seeds with hands
Before sun rises until sunset mutes the land
Child of the farm, daughter of the harvest,
She holds the seedlings, grains from sands
Her mother tells her she is blessed silk
By Gods, her skin neither pale like goat’s milk,
Nor dark like burnt mud sticking her soles;
but brown, soft earth her hands sink into, her ilk
but brown, soft earth her hands sink into, her ilk
Nurture the seedlings to grow, filling bowls
Of family, whole community, including fowls,
Uniting her tribe with motherland, serenity
And prosperity, she plants rice, her soul
Posted for the Imaginary Garden with Real Toads - The Oral Tradition - The planting and harvesting of rice are part of my cultural heritage. So many tales have been told and I have shared partly a verse about it.
and D'verse Poets Pub: Rubaiyat Quartrains - I just learned about this form this afternoon. Let me know how I can improve this.
Poetry form: An Interlocking Rubáiyát is a Persian form where the subsequent stanza rhymes its 1st, 2nd, and 4th lines with the sound at the end of the 3rd line in the stanza (Rubá’íyah) before it. In this form, the 3rd line of the final stanza is also rhymed with the 3 rhymed lines in the first stanza. There is no maximum length but the minimum is three stanzas.
picture source: here
wow you rocked the form heaven...and told a well spun tale as well...it is the work of those few that do feed the village...and she may never get the credit that is due this side of tomorrow...
ReplyDeleteThank you Brian. I had to click on the picture to make sure its you ~
ReplyDeleteSuch determination and quite the work load, you certaintly show that off. Reminded me of a movie with the Serenity remark, but that is just the brain of Pat..haha
ReplyDeleteHa..ha..Thanks for the visit Pat ~
Deleteher whole sole is immersed in this. it's the only thing in her life. you really piont that out!!
ReplyDeletecare for those age’d until the end
Thanks Zonrik ~
DeleteThe picture of a bent girl/woman, in a diffuse light, walking through the submerged fields is very clear--what an intimate contact with earth. I love the image of her arms 'more golden than corn ears' and her being of silk. Lovely, Heaven.
ReplyDeleteThank you Hedge ~
DeleteI love the form and you've really captured the importance of rice to the people of the land. Beautiful.
ReplyDeleteThanks Teresa. It was a challenge to write the form.
DeleteGreat photo and words that breathe it to life. Great writing. One of your best. Very smooth and fun reading you rhyme.
ReplyDeleteI so loved this poem, serenity woven through it, with the noble work of planting rice. It made me think of the most wonderful book I read a while back, called The Rice Mother. The daily chores woven through the pages made it feel like I was living there with the family. It was a wonderful glimpse into life lived in close connection with the land.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I was amazed at the theme you chose for this: a day in the life of a woman in the paddy fields, and what it means to her and her village. Already, that theme can stand on its own in a free verse form. But wrapped with the rubaiyat quatrain form, the theme make itself more insistent, more strident. A really good read!
ReplyDeleteThanks Sam :-)
DeleteBeautiful work as always, Grace. These lines are lovely:
ReplyDelete"The sun burns her face lined with serenity"
"Child of the farm, daughter of the harvest"
"but brown, soft earth her hands sink into, her ilk"
So vivid, Grace... especially the third stanza. I really enjoyed this!
ReplyDeletehttp://lkkolp.wordpress.com/2012/04/06/longing-for-you/
Beautiful imagery!
ReplyDeletethis poem was full of empathy and a bit factual, I'am appreciative to your work here. http://leah-jamielynn.typepad.com
ReplyDeleteYour poem felt so real, it was as if you were speaking of someone you knew.
ReplyDeleteThis is such a beautiful story, weaving the ancient tradition of tending rice fields by hand, the link to the divine of the natural cycles, and the hand of a woman uniting with the earth. Really beautiful work.
ReplyDeletethis is lovely grace...the planting rice, her soul..something so basic and sensual in its earthiness..feeding the nation..the soul..great job on the form as well
ReplyDeletenice capture a another side of life
ReplyDeleterice fields are always so perdy!
ReplyDeleteThoughtful words.
ReplyDeleteI love this beautifully told story, Grace..I can feel the pride in her work. I've always felt that working in a rice paddy looked like back-breaking work. I'm thinking some areas must use mechanized means for farming nowadays. My favorite rice is basmati.
ReplyDeleteA story ripe for myth and metaphor
ReplyDeleteIt has been so gratifying to see you grow as a poet over the time I have known/been reading your work. This is especially beautiful as it incorporates cultural history, folklore, personal emotions in the beautiful shape of the rubayiat form. So well done. Lovely.
ReplyDeleteI am very happy to read your comments Gay. I have been trying hard to improve my craft and try other poetry forms. Thanks for your patience and guidance ~
DeleteI echo Beachanny's thoughts. Only you can make planting rice sound like something out of this world, Grace. What you've managed to incorporate into this poem is astounding.
ReplyDeleteThank you Adura. I appreciate your lovely words.
DeleteYou have made hard work as planting rice into a graceful poem! This Persian form is very interesting and it seems quite hard to achieve. I have to try it one day. I am usually daunted by forms, especially such that contain so many requirements as to rhyming :-D
ReplyDeleteWonderful work, Grace!
Nice- loviing the way you took this subject and applied it to the form. I also liked the way you allow al littembitnof flexibility with the rhyming and this just adds to its creative appeal. This wasn't just a poem- but told a story relevant to thousands...very nice indeed. I've noticed in a few of these poems for this prompt that the applying flexibility does bring something extra to the table- as you've shown here- its given me inspiration to try this more myself
ReplyDelete