Thursday, January 12, 2017

(un)finished poem

all night
i polish my skin
magnifiying every pore
(un)til copper gold
vibrant & electric
shiny as preening male crow
grunting & screeching with power

you stand quietly
watching all my efforts
then your voice
(un)slicing the shadows
sparks  
with a fiery passion
each verse, 
your nakedness 
your shore of thoughts
your song of swallows 

I listen,
(un)catching 
each small stone 
each
stress imprint
(un)folding 
welling-
the air hisses with teeth
ripping out
all the plastic bubble
& shallow stars from my eyes

I am ....




Posted for D'verse Poets Pub - OpenLinkNight ~  The virtual pub opens at 3 pm EST ~Thank you for joining us ~

31 comments:

  1. I really love this... there is a mystery to this writing and I love to see this as unfinished in the sense that it's more a beginning than end.

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    1. Nice idea and twist Bjorn, thanks!

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  2. I love your (in)s in this. A captivating poem that is perfect in being unfinished.

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  3. Is any poem ever truly finished? For often we return to them years later and rewrite them with new eyes, with new wisdom. It's like when we finish with a poem, no matter how many drafts--it is just a temporary, almost arbitrary decision to put the pen down; but for me, each poem throbs with half-life, eager & pliant, ready to be revisited & reshaped at my will.

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  4. We are always a "work in progress." Beautifully put!

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  5. Always something to carry us on as we learn and grow

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  6. It is a beautiful write that invites curiosity and I love that it is 'unfinished' :o)

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  7. Interesting how the poem's title suggests it is both finished and unfinished by writing "(un)finished".

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  8. clever wordplay and a poem that leaves me with questions and meanings to ponder.

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  9. That mysterious 'un' negating everything... fascinating also that eyes are full of plastic bubbles and stars, what a great contrast!

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  10. Just love the sense of mystery and allure that compels the reader to linger..!❤️ Beautifully done, Grace.

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  12. always something to carry us to our (un)finished work. Well done

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  13. Oh wow this is just magical.

    Your shore of thoughts
    Your song of swallows

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  14. I love your word choices in this....they are exquisite....and the sense of 'birthing' that the words bring....like something magical and creative is about to be brought to life. Wonderful.

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  15. i think it is an intriguing mystery

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  16. Excellent piece, Grace!! Another one of my favorites from you. :)

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  17. Fantastic. Palpable (un)refined passion. Real stuff.

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  18. I like the (un)catching of stones. Love the potential of those opposites.

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  19. This poem is gorgeous and I love it!

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  20. I don't normally like (un)conventional punctuation and spacing in poems, but the repeated (un) in this works so wonderfully and seems to have purpose.

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  21. I like the way this poem and be read as unfinished or finished - the I am can be taken as a question or it can be taken as (I Am) as in complete...nice...bkm

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  22. The poem, to me, describes and means coming undone. I love the playing with words and forms with the parenthesis.

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  23. I got the same feeling as Selena, the feeling of coming (un)done. And I love it in unfinished-ness.

    Kay

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  24. So much to be told. It has to be an unfinished story!

    Hank

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  25. A powerful, declarative statement. Loved it.

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  26. So very late to my reading....apologies.

    "the air hisses with teeth
    ripping out
    all the plastic bubble
    & shallow stars from my eyes"

    well....Unfinished poem....unfinished self....but I guess unlike many who read, I read these last lines and think the person is unfinished yes...but there is a negative sense to it for me...the hissing...ripping teeth.. shallow stars...hissing, ripping, shallow....almost a tearing down? Just me, I guess. But I am in a positive mood today....but I'm left feeling this person's "I am..." unfinished, will end up in a depression state? But again....mark of good writing to get me thinking!

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  27. I do like this, unfinished as it is!

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