Grace@Everyday Amazing
My ticket at subway points east towards downtown Toronto City. But my mind meanders elsewhere, fluffy as cotton seed. I tuck in carefully my shoulders and knees along the rim of red hard seat. Across my aisle, a young woman veiled in black, head to foot, takes out her earbuds & plunges to her music. She is only a few feet away, but a sea of sands separates us. I think of boats docking our blue shores as more passengers pour in with each station stop. Our skin is a canvas of colors, psychedelic as overhead posters of the Pan-Am Games. Except for young couple standing in their own circle, hands intimately mapping each other, the rest of us are engrossed in our own stories, games and puzzles. There are borders that can be eased down like a window, catching the morning sun. And there are invisible borders that never come down.
yellow asters bloom
on rain-soaked field, a wildfire
trampling the steel fences
Thanks for the visit ~
I really like how you connect with the current news, you are just hinting what the barriers might be, it's not just about saving life, it's about acceptance and understanding. I read in the news today, that maybe we should understand that world war 3 is upon us.. who would have believed that it would start like this.. your haiku to me gives a sense of hope in the way the flowers can bloom,,
ReplyDeleteLove the prose, how you tell us about the woman and our differences by not addressing her directly - the sea of sands (her homeland), the boats like subways (immigrants) our skin canvases, a kaleidiscope of colors, nationalities, races, religeons. A bit sad on some of those invisible borders.
ReplyDeleteLovely haiku too. Nice intensity in the second part.
Your haiku is superb, summarizing yet also infusing hope into the equation. The prose is crisp & colorful & poetic. Your message is timely without being pedantic , clear without being preachy.
ReplyDeleteVery lovely, Grace. I love the borders that can be eased down like a window, catching the morning sun. I wish they all could be.
ReplyDeletePerfect. Loved it. The haiku is brilliant, too.
ReplyDelete... lovely poem ... if only u weren't 2713km / 1688miles away ... Love, cat.
ReplyDeleteStanding quiet inside a Universe of mind..
ReplyDeleteoften quiet to other eyes.. swirling colors
of minds and feels do grow.. death to ears
and eyes of ears and eyes who do not see...
Universe within
no limit here..
expectations there..
Lovely !
ReplyDeleteBeautiful and I love the preface.
ReplyDeleteA little understanding will help those borders come on down
ReplyDeleteHi Grace this is a fabulous haibun and haiku, you really brought me into the immediacy of the train journey, well done.
ReplyDeleteI like this subway snapshot - a mixture of realism (you must take the subway regularly) and poetry.
ReplyDeleteIt is part of my everyday commute, thanks ~
DeleteYour prose flows as effortlessly and rhythmically as the train moves from stop to stop. And your haiku at the end was excellent. I like the comparison (I think) between borders in the prose to fences in the haiku!
ReplyDeleteOh! How gentleness may trample those borders and barriers between peoples! And the sand and dream and cottony head--I am so moved by this. Back in Virginia, I used my commute (driving) as a spiritual discipline and the depth of the world and fences I saw were indescribable.
ReplyDeleteWonderful. You spoke to differences between us, a sad situation with gentle pathos. No overly wrought thoughts or re-done descriptions. Somehow, this makes it more real. The ending haiku is so lovely.
ReplyDeleteTHIS is a pearl of a haibun, a pearl. Great observation - wonderful, jarring description, I mean really wonderful. Frankly, very special writing. I could read this again and again, and will.
ReplyDeleteLove this philosophical story about boundaries and 'fences'... interesting colorful description of passengers in subway, very poetical haibun...bravo!
ReplyDeleteI like this. I especially appreciated how the haiku at the end illustrated your own little world, separate from the others on the train. At least that's how I read it. Peace, Linda
ReplyDeleteA very timely haibun, portraying our voluntary and involuntary isolation. A beautiful haiku - I didn't know there were yellow asters! Their other name, Michaelmas daisies, makes me think of a purplish pink colour.
ReplyDeleteYour prose is a wonderful set up for the poetry that follows it Grace. The poetry makes me think it would only be a wildfire or other natural calamity that would truly bring down the fences and out the good inherent in people.
ReplyDelete... cum over here then, meouwpapa ... lots of wildfires happening ... which, in time, will prove to be a good thing ...
DeleteDark, stark realism yet blooming hope at the end...a lovely Haibun...
ReplyDeleteBeautifully written, Grace...you address the status of the world, hopeless as well as hopeful and the haiku is stunning! Thanks for this little gem.
ReplyDeleteI always love your subway stories, you have such a poetic view of the world :) And your ending was just the perfect topping for your delicious words.
ReplyDeleteOh I really loved this one.. your haiku just shines with the prose.
ReplyDeleteYou have your way with words, Grace, in this insightful scene of city "borders"...and flower power!
ReplyDeleteGreat prose, great verse!
ReplyDeleteLove this poetic snapshot. So beautifully captured.
ReplyDeleteI still haven't embraced the style, but I admire this ~
ReplyDeleteGrace, wonderful poetic imagery in both the prose and haiku portions of this. It is interesting how some borders are so difficult to cross.
ReplyDeleteGrace, your ability with prose is outstanding. It is as poetic as the haiku. And it's so true, the lack of connection in public places like this--all of us shrouded in our own little worlds.
ReplyDeleteThere are obstacles of borders and the well-manned gate. They just need to risk it. Immigrants go the extra mile in a foolhardy manner sometimes foolishly!
ReplyDeleteHank
You've built some intense contrasts in both the prose and the haiku parts of this poem, Grace. I especially love the haiku! Excellent!
ReplyDeleteThank you, for visiting and linking me to the other challenge! I'm playing catch-up this week...hope you're well. :)
Oh I admire the vivid picture you paint in your prose. The haiku is stunning. I like to think that the subway could be a starting point for breaking down barriers. Tiny little worlds for us to practice on.
ReplyDeleteThis prose is telling, contemporary, pushes the reader out of his head and encourages a view of what is going on in society. Our differences when it comes down to it, makes us more alike than different. We all belong to each other. I found this very moving, thank you.
ReplyDeleteGrace, I like your observations of the people in the metro. Walker Evans, the famous depression-era photographer often took photos of people in the subways of New York, candid photos of people in "limbo" as he called it. This haibun reminds me of that. By highlighting the similarities and differences in the passengers, you invite the reader to ponder these and gently lead us to other ideas about boundaries, borders, colors, and shapes. The couple stands out as a stark contrast, them being in their own little world. I like the prose portion the best.
ReplyDelete