the cold wind sweeps the night sky like a clock with callous hands-
undaunted, the last rose blooms flaunting skin, ripe and hungry-
i am not ready to say goodbye the moon, sated, edges to dawn's death
Posted for D'verse Poets Pub - Sijo poem - 3 lines (14-14-18) - total must be between
44-46 syllables
And Real Toads - Hello/Good-bye
Structure of the sijo poem:
Lines 1 and 2 are written in four phrases of syllables counted as follows: 3 - 4 || 3 - 4 with a major pause at the end of the line (i.e. no enjambment) and a total of 14 syllables per line.
Line 3 is also written in four phrases of syllables counted: 3 - 6 || 4 - 3 to a total of 16 syllables.
Some leeway is allowed within this structure but the end result should be between 44 and 46 syllables.
Special thanks to Showers of Roses
Simply beautiful, Grace. We were a bit on the same wavelength today.
ReplyDeleteBut as with everything back around it will come
ReplyDeleteah we had a beautiful full moon yesterday as well...it's so magical and you capture that magic so well here...
ReplyDeleteThe full moon here in the NW of WA state was breathtaking; as is your Sijo; thanks.
ReplyDeleteOh, NOW I see the music, feel it, hear it. Gorgeous, Grace.
ReplyDeleteOustanding! The way the outlay is here helps me understand the form a little more.
ReplyDeletethe moon, sated, edges to dawn's death
That took my breath away. It creates all kinds of images.
I can see a haiku poet in your flawless poetry. Moon is so right today
ReplyDeleteI, too, would wanted a last flower before I left. You have just given it to me. Thank you, Grace.
ReplyDeletenice...the opening line...the sweep and allusion to the clock hands is a really cool pairing in this grace....nice closing image of the moon as well...apropo for tonight...
ReplyDeleteYou make it look so easy. These are wonderful.
ReplyDeleteVery excited about the form. You've demonstrated the poetic possibilities for the form so beautifully.
ReplyDeletethis was done with a delicate pen... enjoyed its gentleness
ReplyDeleteThat is a quite beautiful piece
ReplyDeleteI still do not completely understand the form, but there is no missing the beauty of your expression.
ReplyDeleteOh this really gave me the feeling of those evenings that I don't want to end.
ReplyDeleteThis is beautiful, Grace, as was last night's moon!!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the explanation of the form, Grace. Sijo is new to me. I get the syllable count, min/max; it's the phrases and their purposes I will focus on next time.
ReplyDeleteGrace - lovely - K
ReplyDeleteGrace, I read this and I feel so inadequate. Maybe I am not ready to come back from my break from poetry.
ReplyDeleteLovely. lovely. lovely.
yes. this is serene, undaunted beauty... dawn's death!
ReplyDeleteJust beautiful, you've nailed this form I believe...has a serene quality, so lyrical. Lovely!
ReplyDeleteThank you for making roses as sexy as they naturally are.
ReplyDeleteA passionate poem. Beautiful.
ReplyDeleteGives a great feeling of peaceful coolness of the Spring night, what with a blooming rose and full moon for company! Nicely Grace!
ReplyDeleteHank
Just beautiful, and even the way you formatted the sijo makes it visually comparable to the rising-up scales of a musical composition.
ReplyDelete...Grace, you created a versatile format of Sijo that gives me many many ways to read and look at it... clever!
ReplyDelete..smiles...
love the callous hands of the clock and the perfect yellow rose to illustrate the light of the moon.
ReplyDeleteThat's really pretty. Your use of vivid imagery is delightful.
ReplyDeleteThis is beautiful. I love "the moon, sated, edges to dawn's death". Amazing imagery. - Kat/@BeingMama
ReplyDeleteGrace - this is truly a masterpiece. The way you've laid out your images, allowing each to be interpreted in conjunction with both its predecessor and successor is just fabulous. I bow in the presence of such skill.
ReplyDeleteI sit in awe and just enjoy!
ReplyDeleteThis is really beautiful Grace. I love the style of this one as well...quite unique.
ReplyDeleteVery very heavenly...could feel the glow of the moon in this sijo
ReplyDeleteVery beautiful, and I love the way you've set it out. The last line gives it a haiku-like quality: the juxtaposition.
ReplyDeletewonderfully composed. the yellow rose image goes perfectly with your poem. the photographer is klass fidom of zoom. thanks for the special mention.
ReplyDelete~ showers of roses
Well thought out as the words weave together beautifully.
ReplyDeleteThis is really gorgeous, Grace.
ReplyDeleteAmazing lines ... loved the flow !!!
ReplyDeleteBene...
ReplyDeleteWhen I first read this, I was struck by the emotion and the drama that was unfolding. I still am at second and third reading. :-)
ReplyDeleteWell done! It's been a while since I've read this form. Like others, struck by the emotion. The pitch and sounds clicked, clicked, clicked. I was anxious and then glad for the read. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteyearnings and a bitter , sweet feeling.
ReplyDelete