we are stonewashed
by river
we are blistered grey
by wind
yet you warm
gaping hole inside our chests
with tenacity of sunflower
bowed black
seeds all stewed out
but standing tall, unyielding
rid our eyes
of ash
stir our words: worthier gladder
<bravehearts>
Posted for dVerse Poets Pub - Quadrille, hosted by Sarah Connor. This is a 44 word post, with the chosen word, ASH. Thanks for the visit and comments.
The format of this works so well... I see those stones tumbling in the river, abraded to smoothness.
ReplyDeleteLike us we can find the end worthier and gladder.
Yeah, uhm, wow. I mean... I know complimenting the form of the poem is the most obvious direction to go with this piece, but it's true - you did an amazing job, Grace.
DeleteMuch love,
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DeleteI agree with Björn - the 'tumbling' format works well. I love how the imagery builds to paint a picture of those true bravehearts who weather every storm!
ReplyDeleteI like the format, too. It's clever, but it doesn't take over from the words. I like the insistent strength here, the sunflower hanging on into the autumn.
ReplyDeleteThis is absolutely gorgeous writing, Grace! The format works well to drive the message through. Especially love the "tenacity of sunflower." Sigh 💝💝
ReplyDeleteI agree about the format. It gives weight to each element of this fine piece.
ReplyDeleteI'm not usually a big fan of such (physically) scattered verbiage, Grace, but it's perfect for this piece. My hat is off!
ReplyDelete“with tenacity of sunflower”
ReplyDeleteI love that.
The spacing....the tumbling.....all adds to the depth of meaning here. stir our words.....worthier....gladder....such a beautiful and to me, soft and gentle ending.
ReplyDeleteLuv the character if the sunflower.
ReplyDeleteMuch💜love
Beautiful Grace! I love the tumbling, and the braveheart at the end.
ReplyDeleteA really wonderful piece, wish I had written it.
ReplyDeleteLovely and interesting - the form is evocative, offering us the spaces in which to feel the weight, and yet, simultaneously offering us Light -
ReplyDeleteThere's a (bulldog) tenacity to this - a scarecrow flapping in the wind, sun-burnt and blistered - how elegant is this small poem? very - and (although I don't like using this word for its sometimes connotations, but not in this case) clever. A most unexpected and unusual treatment of "ash" in 44 words Grace!
Touching verses, I liked the form here, the words "scattered" as the title create space for thought.
ReplyDeletenot keen on this format but as the others have said it works well here. giving weight to the poem.
ReplyDeleteI love the physical structure of this poem, its excellent work :)
ReplyDeleteVery clever formatting. It took me a few attempts to fit the words into the spaces or note where language fell, but I enjoyed the process, and moreso enjoyed the poetry.
ReplyDeleteWe need be "bravehearts" in these ashen times.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful scattered poetry.
ReplyDeleteI wasn't sure what this was about. I have two images, of stones and sunflowers, both warmed by the sun and one enduring, the other enduring in its scattered seeds.
ReplyDeleteYour words are scattered like seeds on the wind, and your images fly like petals. Lovely poem, full of hope and beauty despite all odds.
ReplyDeleteA stirring that cleanses. I can feel it in your words.
ReplyDeleteA stunning use of form and images interspersed throughout Grace.
ReplyDeleteThe form is phenomenal, I can feel the seeds disperse and though they never reform, they are too many to all be taken by winter's gray. SO beautiful.
ReplyDeleteThe form is riveting and adds to its emotional depth, Grace. Love it.
ReplyDeletepax,
dora
Perfect form for this scattering poem!
ReplyDeleteAh!
ReplyDelete