Tuesday, March 19, 2019

catching my silhouette


a black hawk
hunches inside of me

subway train grinds, 
moving the city 
in same direction
to east/west
then south/north



actually, the animal 
may be a giant whale
heaving one deep exhale

-who0000oosh-


overhead, perched on buildings 
are pigeons and gulls
scavenging scraps of bread
mirroring city folks, 
whose bodies move clock-
wise, counter clock-
wise

i listen
-hummmm-

of bees & hummingbirds
to murmuration of starlings
carrying me
to feet of wild forest 
to towering hair of willow tree



Posted for dVerse Poets Pub - Poetic Hum hosted by Gina.  I am always striving to hear my poetic hum above the noise of the city and my hectic work life.
The challenge:
What is the poetic hum in your life? What hums in the background of your life that inspires you as you unconsciously listen while you work and live? Is the drone always there or do you have to cultivate the inspiration?

21 comments:

  1. I love the title and shape of this poem, Grace. I also admire the use of line breaks and spacing, the way you move seamlessly from the black hawk to the subway train and the giant whale, and the sound of the lines:

    heaving one deep exhale

    -who0000oosh-

    You’ve evoked the movement of the pigeons and the sounds of bees and birds beautifully.

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  2. The structure of this poem works so well. I love the evocations of nature, and the comparision with the clockwork of the train. I like the fact that each half could stand alone. I also think the sounds of nature could almost be the sounds of a train - the whoosh of the doors closing, the hum of movement, as if the train drives your imagination, too.

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  3. I like that the hum of nature can take you to many places. Well said.

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  4. I feel like I am carried by those starlings as well.

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  5. I really love the parallel parts here, like the mundane outside and the adventurous inside... the dreams of being the hawk... like being two voices in one.

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  6. your poetry writing format reflects the artistic nature deep in you Grace. you blend the city sights and sounds with the beauty of nature around you, i love to see how they don't compete as you give them both a chance to speak to you. such a wonderful response to the prompt!

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  7. " to feet of wild forest
    to towering hair of willow tree" you are brought into the forest as one of its own. i like that harmony with nature. the formatting of the poem has a nice effect of separation of creating world versus other world

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  8. Love the title, Grace, and how you have structured the duality - and still it works together.

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  9. I love the touchback to Brian and Claudia in this. The three of you had some similar technique.

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  10. From inside to outside to wild side. Cool.

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  11. I love your description of the city activities as they hum on non-stop. The giant whale heaving is so good!

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  12. Your title is a perfect fit, like the nature of your identity trying to make itself seen.

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  13. Beautiful!love the onomatopoeia!

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  14. Your poetic him is vibrant and rings of spring and oceanic views. Lovely.

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  15. I like the layout of your poem it is an effective way to deliver the different sights and hums of life. A delightful read Grace

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  16. How wonderful to "see" the hum of nature as it weaves in and out of the humdrum of the city. This is beautiful, Grace.

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  17. Everything city blended together in a series of hums. Love the format on this.

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  18. Very nicely done. I enjoyed the sensory exploration in your words.

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