My mom comes to visit the graveyard to say her prayers. The early November crowds have gone, and the solemnity has returned to the cemetery. Her lips and fingers move around the rosary beads with ease. As always, her eyes water as she sees my father's etched name on the grey plate. How each letter glitters like tiger's eyes under the dying sunset. Though she has dedicated masses and special intentions, she wonders if he is at peace at last. Is he still suffering or has he finally reunited with our Lord? Every night, she prays for a sign, message or a dream of my father's after-life journey. Over the phone, I listen to her crying and questions. I have no answers.
snowy owl hoots
behind trees & carpet of leaves-
night is silent, starless-
Posted for dVerse Poets Pub- Haibun Monday, hosted by Victoria Slotto. The theme is to
write about Fukuroo – the Owl. Owl is a winter kigo but you can write about any season. Please keep the prose to under 200 words.
This is so moving, Grace. I am sure he is at peace. Smiles.
ReplyDeleteOh, the silent starless night (without light) makes a nice punctuation to the feelings here Grace.
ReplyDeleteReally well written, each detail chosen to accentuate the feeling. really like the Tiger's eyes under the dying sunset.
I feel for your mother. Passing is so hard, and a spouse such a heavy weight to carry. Missing them. Grieving.
It is so hard to know what to say.
Sorry you had to go there, but at least you made it poetry.
This is hard.. and it's still so close for you. I so wonder what could console your mother that there is peace for your father... to use the owl in the haiku added so much to the scene. love it.
ReplyDeleteI love your title....for those who have lost a loved one, it is indeed a long mourning. My mother too, fingered her rosary, silently moving her lips after my father died. Somehow that ritual brings some warmth or comfort or solace. I can picture your mother here.
ReplyDeleteVery poignant. I always think of owls as calling to each other in the night, seeking company in the darkness.
ReplyDeleteThis is so very sad, that dark starless night. The details: your mother fingering her rosary beads really stands out for me. The haiku is beautiful.
ReplyDeleteThis is so heartbreaking, Grace, from the mo[u]rning of the title to the dying sunset and your mother's sadness. I love that you have included the owl in the haiku only and given your sorrow so much space. I am still raw from the death of my mother and send you both love.
ReplyDeleteThis touched me deeply--the Catholic in me, my own wondering about my mom and other loved ones. On the anniversary of her death I asked her to let me know she was happy. My cousin in Hawaii sent me an email about a dream she had had about Mom that day...Mom was all dressed in yellow, smiling and shopping! Juanita didn't know it was the anniversary. I will pray for your sweet mother and you remind her God is all about love and mercy.
ReplyDeleteWhat a sad story. How your mother must have loved your father. Very beautiful. XX
ReplyDeleteI love the gentle rhyme in every sentence. Your prose-writing is so fluid, but still 100% poetry.
ReplyDeleteI think this is my very favorite section: "Though she has dedicated masses and special intentions"
Sometimes religion is more of a worry than a solace. I like the association of the owl with death.
ReplyDeleteAw bless your mum. Some questions have no answers...perhaps she wants definite reassurance. You wrote it well.
ReplyDeleteHaving to think the what if sure can be tough for those still left behind.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful remembrance of your mother's mourning.
ReplyDeleteThere is so much sadness here and sometimes we have no answers just more questions.
ReplyDeleteWish there was a mode ofcommunication! It would have helped us to understand other worlds, not just know about our loved ones.
ReplyDeleteAah, this bond of love stays even when the loved one is no more. Wavering thoughts on after life, the concerns, tears & the longing to be with deceased one & the unanswered questions is so natural. I feel for your Ma, Grace. Love how the owl has its space in the Haiku.
ReplyDeleteReassurance in a case like this doesn't always help. I like that you didn't 'patronize' your mother but left the subject open-ended, poetically so as has been said in other comments.
ReplyDeleteVery sweet -- ah the silence of no answers, to questions that would never had been asked if the odd assumptions were never made.
ReplyDeleteAt last one must realize, it really isn't about them. And all is as it should be. Still a mystery, why it is designed so. Hard to realize we each have a road to travel, and one day it is over, even if we have not reached the end, as we understand it. I am sorry for you Mom, letting go is also hard for me....I know the "but," that follows. Perhaps death should remind us, of our responsibility of live, and live fully. Blessings to your Mom not all questions can be answered....I took a class, and remember the instructor, said, "We have to get to a place, where we no longer see what happened as a tragedy. It is just what happened." It happens to everyone and every living thing.
ReplyDeleteThis is heartbreaking. Faith should console, but it often doesn't.
ReplyDeleteYour haiku is exquisite, Grace...and God only knows the answers to some of our hardest questions.
ReplyDeleteI feel the sadness of your mom. Still wondering if dad found peace. I also feel a great love. Blessings to your mom.
ReplyDeleteMy heart aches for your mother. The emotion comes across so visually in this haibun. I hope she finds some peace of mind....those questions we can never answer can be overwhelming. I guess that is where faith comes in. ~hugs~
ReplyDeleteMish
Poignant and emotive - a tender expression of grief and grieving.
ReplyDeleteSo sad. I'm sorry for your mother. There are no answers, are there?
ReplyDeleteLovely haiku.