"Everyday in every way I’m getting better and better" - Emile Coue
Thursday, November 23, 2017
jellybeans with jazz
it starts breezy
your fingers slick, tingling
on guitar strings
murmur of leaves, falling
then sharp stab
slurping my skin, milk-moon
soft, honey-gold
& buttering my eyes
fringe of blue clouds
slam, slam, pour, pour
your ferocious heartbeats-
turn us to mindless waves
ride in - music -
we swish, rolling rhythm
pedals churning-
gathering us to heaven
gates, let's implode (again)-
Posted for dVerse poets Pub - Jazz poetry with a lovely guest blogger, Amaya. Come and join us when the pub doors open at 3pm EST. Thanks for the visit ~
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Fantastic... especially that shift from the soft first stanza to the ecstasy of the second into that onomatopoeia poetry of the third, this is poetry to dance to.
ReplyDeleteNice title. I liked the phrase "mindless waves".
ReplyDeleteVery sexy.
ReplyDeleteSuch mindless waves are sure fine by me
ReplyDeleteWhat a 'pow!' at the end. Nice jazz, Grace!
ReplyDeleteYeah, that's jazz! That's poetry.
ReplyDeletewe swish, rolling rhythm
ReplyDeletepedals churning-
I love the sounds in this part.
I was really looking forward to seeing what you came up with and I'm so glad you got right into this prompt, since your poetry is always so precise and pastoral, and well, perfect. You do not disappoint, Grace! This is flamenco jazz at its most dynamic, and as Sarah said, sexy too. Akin to aural sex with the foreplay and buildup. I especially love how you are so dialed into the "ferocious heartbeats" of your lover/musician, revealing how it's not just the music that transports us and transfigures us to "mindless waves" but empathy and love does that.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the comments and lovely prompt Amaya ~
DeleteYou brought the heat in your song Grace.
ReplyDeleteThere is a nice dance and energy in your words, and I can definitely hear the music.
One thought, I reswizzled one line just to hear it with the double sus:
slurping my milk-moon soft skin
Nice title too. Ha.
DeleteI did not realize it at first til I saw it int he sidebar elsewhere.
Thank you. Am trying some creative titles, for a change.
DeleteWhew. Meet me for round two at the middle 8. This is jazz you can lick off the fingers, smacking all the way.
ReplyDeleteA slow simmer to a raging fire to a settling warmth. A wonderful write!
ReplyDeleteHot stuff, Grace, and sweet jellybeans!
ReplyDeleteI especially love your second stanza. This was so much fun to read.
ReplyDeletewe swish, rolling rhythm
ReplyDeletepedals churning-
gathering us to heaven
gates
It cannot be any better than to end up at heaven's gates!
Hank
I love the beat and sound of this piece. 🌸👍
ReplyDeleteLet's implode again. :)
ReplyDeleteThis is awesome, Grace. I missed this last week. So glad I'm catching it now.
ReplyDelete'buttering my eyes" is my favorite image
I love this... every sensual element, every jazzy nuance.
ReplyDeleteA wonderful 'build' to that imploding close. This is jazz!
ReplyDelete