outside the window
you are hazy bony figure
crumbling soft .snowflakes.
as wind slants
susurration from jarring breath
ivory crowns the land-
scape to sands of blue .crystals.
tree shadows creak .shushhh.
ghosting my mind
of what was .is.
blazing inferno
inside this wi(n)dow
Posted for D'verse Poets Pub - Quadrille - 44 word post with the word GHOST. Hosted by Kim Russell. Thanks for the visit ~
Love the way you have used spaces and periods here, like a hesitant mind being ghosted. And that wi(n)dow adds a great point.
ReplyDeleteThe longed-for ghost. The snow, the blur of falling flakes is a good analogy for the loss of someone dear, and the yearning to see through the veil.
ReplyDeleteI love this, Grace. It reminds me of Cathy outside the window on. The internal line breaks and punctuation break the poem up, like a ghost disintegrating. I particularly love 'tree shadows creak'.
ReplyDeleteI liked the phrase "ghosting my mind
ReplyDeleteof what was". Separating some of the words by framing them with periods made them stand out.
The tree shadows and the wind...the noises do come alive!
ReplyDeleteThis is absolutely stunning a write, Grace!❤️ Especially love "ivory crowns the land-scape to sands of blue crystals."❤️
ReplyDelete"tree shadows creak" took me for a walk in the woods after an ice storm! Great write, Grace.
ReplyDeleteEspecially love these words:
ReplyDeletetree shadows creak .shushhh.
ghosting my mind
of what was .is.
brittle trees clicking on windows....when I would be alone in our country house in Iowa, in the midst of a snow storm, that sound would be very disconcerting! Your poem brings back that sound!
You blew the socks off the prompt, Grace. Snow as specter, imagery coming and going, the abstract art of ice on the windows and very creative spacing; a delightful read.
ReplyDeleteSome wonderful lines here .. love tree shadows creak .... and the spaces, periods and line breaks very innovative
ReplyDeleteThe spacing and forced pauses that it causes are clever. Gorgeous visual treats in this one.
ReplyDeleteThis is excellent. Between your and Bjorn's q's, I am just totally blown away. I love the ghosting of sounds and snow, figures.
ReplyDeleteAmazing! The window of what was and what is.
ReplyDeleteNice! And reminds me how cold the weather here too is.
ReplyDeleteHappy Valentine's Day!
This is hauntingly beautiful...
ReplyDeleteDelightful and haunting - the snow and the window, the two sides. Wonderfully done.
ReplyDeleteooooh. the word choices, the cuts and spaces, and then final line. haunting. so good.
ReplyDeleteblazing inferno
ReplyDeleteinside this wi(n)dow
Fantastic play on words. Blazing physically at the window can be discerned but blazing inside a widow full of desires may not be apparent!
Hank
What can be scene in something not so serene can shine on the inside
ReplyDeleteI felt the struggle in this.
ReplyDeleteLove phrases of "ghosting my mind" and the "blazing inferno inside this widow".
ReplyDeletelovely poetry, Grace :)
ReplyDeletewonderful narrative and play between in and out.
ReplyDeletei can almost see and breathe in that space of silence.
ReplyDeletereminds me of myself, watching dusk fall outside the window (i love writing while i'm watching day turn to night).
A unique play with time in the visual of "ghosting my mind of what was .is."
ReplyDeleteNice contrast!
ReplyDeleteI learned a new word -- susurration. I always love when a poem makes me look up a word. Nice take on the prompt.
ReplyDeleteWi(n)dow is a clever touch
ReplyDeleteBjorn expressed so well what I want to say. You could easily repost this to the expressionism prompt--it creates such atmosphere.
ReplyDeletethe breaks and punctuation that you have cast throughout the piece, give pause ... to great effect.
ReplyDelete