Monday, October 28, 2019

the moon, the sole witness



Her eyelashes are heavy by restless nights.   The backpack strains her shoulders as she nears the destination.

She walks faster now, knowing the path towards the forest trees with giant roots climbing out of boulders.   The shadows are draping every crevice.   This is the barrenness of harvest or pestilence.   She almost lost her bearings.

You can't stop now (voice in her head).

She steps into the clearing of stones.   (Only the wind hears his whispers).   Taking out a black case from her bag, she reaches for the knife.   His knife, bold & black, pressing familiar on her palm.     

There is no hesitation - she plunges the knife & breaks the case.   Small bones and dust caved into tunnel beneath.   The ancient trees will bury the remnants of her broken promises - finally. 

After a long exhale, she retreats, growing smaller as a candle light.                



Posted for dVerse Poets Pub - Prosery, hosted by Bjorn Rudberg.    This is a word post less than 144 with the given line:  This is the barrenness of harvest or pestilence from All Hallows by Louise Gluck. 

12 comments:

  1. Absolutely chilling Grace. I love 'only the wind hears his whispers.'

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  2. This was so dark with only a few hints of the backstory.. his knife... the small bones... I am not sure I want to know what her broken promises are, but you open up so many opportunities, and many of them are quite sinister.

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  3. An atmosphere thick with whirling emotions -- with the plunge of knife breaking the spell. I like the idea of ancient trees burying the secrets.

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  4. It's like the trailer for a movie - what happened before, what happened next? You've plunged us right into the heart of the story, really atmospheric, with just enough information to allow the imagination to run wild.

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  5. A sad tale, the small buried bones.

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  6. I want to hear the before and after. Haunting, yet freeing.

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  7. Your imagery is hauntingly beautiful!

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  8. I like how the title suggests something untoward, Grace, and the way you build suspense with the straining backpack and the faster pace, and the asides in parentheses. I also like the threatening ‘giant roots climbing out of boulders’ and the shadows draping every crevice. I especially love the ending, with your protagonist ‘growing smaller as a candle light’. I;d like to know more about the bones. I agree with Sarah about its similarity with a film trailer.

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  9. Hmmm not sure she has the best intentions. Wonder about the bones.

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  10. A wicked tale about we know not what! "Growing smaller as a candle light" … I like that phrase.

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  11. Creepy--filled with atmospheric darkness and mystery. Like others, I want to know more. I agree with Sarah that it's like a film trailer because it evokes a visual, but we don't really know what happened or will happen.

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  12. Mysterious and chilling, Grace. What are the broken promises? I love, "growing smaller as a candle light".

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