"Everyday in every way I’m getting better and better" - Emile Coue
Thursday, October 3, 2019
scattered needles//subway//
your silence is bell
ringing rust in my ears
swarming buzzing
bees
my sunken eyes, lost pages
of a book
i stumble, fumble,
mumble
i hold my lighter
but i can't see my feet
the cut on my right hand
a growing fire
i am falling,
falling
faster than autumn leaves
your silence is drug
drowning my veins in darkness
do i dance with dirty needles
in all my days
until i, i
that nobody
become a sterile sheet
you pass by on the street
-somebody, help me-
Posted for dVerse Poets Pub - OpenLinkNight - A first hand experience watching a young man in the subway train, addicted, high with drugs, in our regular commute. After our ride, someone reported him for help.
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This was so vivid... the young man, totally absorbed in misery, I almost visualize him sitting on the bottom of his own well, hands stretched skyward.
ReplyDeletethat tine call for help in the end... I hope he got the help he needed.
Sad poem. Unless he is ready to be helped, he won't be helped. Take it from a former addict. I hope he wants to be helped. Here, he would be on his own.
ReplyDeleteThe layout of this poem makes the scene more vivid and very dark. The alliteration is very effective, especially ‘ringing rust’ and ‘do i dance with dirty needles’, and so is the repetition of sounds and words: ‘i stumble, fumble, mumble’ and ‘falling, falling’. The rhyming in the final lines has a hint of irony, and the tiny voice calling for help makes such an impact. So sad.
ReplyDeletePowerful, gripping, and very sad Grace. The weak cry for help that closes the poem is heartbeaking... Through my years making music in the 1960’s/70’s/80’s I lost 2 band members, and 3 friends to heroine. It was devastating each time. Myself and others tried to help two of them get help, but “H” is a relentless monster. Gut wrenching write Gace.
ReplyDeleteSad, powerful, and the poem is very detail.
ReplyDeleteMy heart breaks and It hurts seeing someone addicted to drugs.
This is so vivid. Deeply dark, as if drowning.
ReplyDelete"until i, i
ReplyDeletethat nobody
become a sterile sheet
you pass by on the street"
The harbinger of tragedy echoes here, as I'm sure the junkie knows better than anyone the final outcome if they don't stop. A haunting reality for many. Glad someone called. Maybe this time they will quit for good.
This is a powerful and chilling poem Grace. What a heartbreaking way to live.
ReplyDeleteSome people sure get so down in a hole they almost never get out. Good when help can be found though.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis is darkly passionate, Grace!❤️ Especially like; "your silence is drug drowning my veins in darkness."
ReplyDeleteI love this:
ReplyDelete“the cut on my right hand
a growing fire
i am falling,
falling
faster than autumn leaves
your silence is drug”
Grace: If I hadn't read your explanation, I would have not have understood this poem. Thanx for the explanation.
ReplyDeleteI liked it much after that -- read it three times. The "your silence is bell" and "your silence is drug" lines are hard for me to understand.
A powerful poem.
ReplyDeleteVery nice! Love the feeling of intensity in this one. The morphine of silence... silence... silence...
ReplyDeleteBoom! The silent treatment rings loud here. Well told.
ReplyDeleteThe ending, that silent cry, is very effective. We have definitely reached misery overload in the world, and most in need never reach our consciousness. We can't help everybody, but we can help somebody.
ReplyDeleteI agree. Very effective.. the entire poem.
ReplyDeleteIntense, but oh, so sad,
ReplyDeleteYou describe the quiet horror of this perfectly.
ReplyDeleteOh, this is so sadly true of many
ReplyDeletethat nobody
ReplyDeletebecome a sterile sheet
you pass by on the street
That not many are bothered, a tragedy for one so young to waste his life!
Hank
So powerful lines, each stanza discovers a new aspect of this young man.Just loved it.
ReplyDelete