I am your failed experiment, your outcast that you hide from the tourists who flock to see the famous CN Tower and Rogers Centre. I am the rusty car you hide at the back alleys. The one with the unpainted doors, broken hood and dirty windows. I etch loneliness and regrets on the graffitied walls. Under the darkness, I hobble along city streets where every space is calculated with parking meters and silver glass towers shimmering like diamonds. Only the penguins greet me, nibbling the breadcrumbs near my feet. I set a stained foam cup on the sidewalk and watch the tail light of cars and buses blurring out of sight. My liquor-breath mixes with autumn's cool wind, blowing this morning's newspapers deep to the shadows.
A lilac maple leaf falls
on the fountain, empty of water-
while black birds count-
perched atop electrical lines
basking under hunter's moon
while black birds count-
perched atop electrical lines
basking under hunter's moon
Grace@Everyday Amazing
Posted for D'verse Poets Pub - Haibun Monday Hosted by Bjorn Rudberg. Join us when the pub opens at 3pm EST. Thanks for the visit~
Written in an alter-ego in the first person, this paints a tragic image of the dark side of life.
ReplyDeleteI love the sense of a collective voice of all the shadows of the city, the hidden soul of the city itself... It's almost like a choir of background... and the contrasting image of the blackbird in your tanka adds so much to the visual
ReplyDeleteNothing happier than a homeless person with friends..
ReplyDeleteNothing sadder than a city home with no friends..
Village is alWays wHeRe LoVe lives..
Cities froWn with sMaLL
love and
skyscRapers
thaT tOuch A
sky oFF HeLL..:)
I so enjoyed this underbelly of city trappings. So often I used to see the rusty cars at the back of alleys and on vacant lots, often filled with the stuff of the homeless. So sad. so very sad. I love the maple leaf in the waterless fountain. So very evocative.
ReplyDeleteI love the opening: "I am your failed experiment" ... And this: "Only the penguins greet me"
ReplyDeleteOh my, this is gorgeous:
"A lilac maple leaf falls
on the fountain, empty of water"
Incredible work, Grace.
Amazing contrast between the prose, Grace, with the darkness, outcasts, rusty cars, graffitied walls, as well as the 'parking meters and silver glass towers shimmering like diamonds' - and the penguins - that was a surprise! - and the tanka, with its lilac maple leaf and empty fountain.
ReplyDeleteMy goodness, you brought the entire scene to life with your vivid images and choice of diction. Beautifully penned.
ReplyDeleteLots of love,
Sanaa
What an image you painted
ReplyDeleteThis is a very creative take on the prompt for me it's like two poems, intertwined, yet independent--love the tanka. I am the photographer searching those alleys for the rusted abandoned cars, the homeless, the broken fire escape ladders, the rusted pipes, the crumbling brick, & the bright graffiti.
ReplyDeleteGreat poem here Grace :)
ReplyDeleteGreat point of view in this, Grace, and I love your opening line.
ReplyDeleteGrace! What the heck? that was well written... bravo!
ReplyDeleteZQ
I am your failed experiment,
ReplyDeleteyour outcast that you hide from the tourists
There are so many relics that city fathers allowed to be strewn around among the down-trodden hidden from view. Perhaps not having enough political will to keep the city clean. Wonder if this interpretation holds water, Grace? Brilliant write!
Hank
oh. this creatively done poem tugs the heart. you gave voices to the unheard ones.
ReplyDeletePowerful and eloquent. Some incredible lines in this ... wonderful writing!
ReplyDelete"Baby, it's cold outside" comes to mind as well shelters and psych wards filling with homeless peeps. Love, cat.
ReplyDeleteWhat many don't see as they go to the tourist traps, sure captured the scene indeed. So many look past the homeless.
ReplyDeleteCities are often facades polished and preening while behind the false fronts so many lives pass unnoticed.
ReplyDeleteperfect personification Grace - just enough elaboration to walk these side-walks with
ReplyDelete"I am your failed experiment, your outcast that you hide from the tourists"...such a powerful and sad picture.
ReplyDeleteYour Toronto,or my Saskatoon...our any other city, it seems, contains its share of "failed experiments."
ReplyDeleteSuch contrast between the prose and the tanka. Really sends the point of the gritty city side home. You've painted the "underbelly" of a bit city so well here....images are so vivid and visceral.
ReplyDeleteIt's so true to reality you could've lived it. Insightful and as with Bjorn's the write shows empathy.
ReplyDeleteI like that you expose the realities of the homeless, not only with images but with honesty. They are so overly stereotyped and misunderstood. The stained cup reminds me of a day that I passed by a lonesome soul, walked another block before turning around.
ReplyDeleteHeartbreaking and emotional read. I've been homeless and I am deeply moved by your first person voice.
ReplyDeleteI loved this...the way you combined stark urban reality with nature and a feeling of surrealism at points. janice (ontheland)
ReplyDeleteLike Mother Wintermoon, I know from experience the truth which abides in these words.
ReplyDeleteLike Mother Wintermoon, I know from experience the truth which abides in these words.
ReplyDelete