Photography: Petros Koublis
we hike along your
slopes, rugged against forest's belly
in early sunrise-
though you reek of slim pickings
our teeth sinks into you
like meat, we're wolves,
famished
like seeds, we're birds,
lost
we pause on top
your crown is gutted by wind
& sluiced by countless thunder storms
you sometimes bellow with fire
every 100 years or so,
yet steadfast do we rest
on your shoulders, mud-carved
with carrying a million spruce
trees
with burying a million more grave
pits
we begin our descent
to hoots of geese & flight of swallows
passing by wheat & corn fields
by sundown-
our nostrils heavy with sap
& our arms, light of
air
& our feet, sated with
sands
Posted for D'verse Poets Pub - Summit in Sight, by guest prompter, Lynn. Join us when the poetry pub opens at 3pm EST.
I like your descriptions of the forest's "belly", "shoulders" of the mountain, and the wildlife that make their home there...then coming down to contrasting beauty of the plains in the wheat and cornfields.
ReplyDeleteI love this piece...especially the hoots of geese!
ReplyDeleteFull of life, and like Annell, I really like that last stanza.
ReplyDeleteQuite the earthly shout with much life about
ReplyDeleteBeautiful images!
ReplyDeleteWonderfully expressed, Grace! You have shared the ascent and descent so very well.
ReplyDeleteThis is absolutely gorgeous writing :D especially love the opening lines. Powerfully written.
ReplyDeleteLots of love,
Sanaa
You took me right there, with all the trees, and birds, and "arms, light of air".......
ReplyDeleteThese are my favorites, Grace:
ReplyDelete"we pause on top
your crown // is gutted by wind"
"by sundown-
our nostrils heavy with sap"
This is just brilliant, Grace. I love how you make it so alive with your choice of verbs. Too many wonderful images to make mention of each of them.
ReplyDeleteA nearly perfect piece, for sure; I love the dangling single words at the end of some lines; may try that myself. I was an avid hiker, years ago; your poem made my pulse pound, my lungs smile, & my heart lighter; nice work. I like the lines /like meat, we're wolves/famished--& /like seeds, we're birds/lost/.
ReplyDeleteI love your opening verse, Grace. It's so powerful in its wild description of experiencing the mountain and what she has to offer. I could see the wildlife and feel the lack of oxygen...wheeze!
ReplyDeleteThere are many things I admire about this poem, for example the way the reader is included in the hike, seeing and feeling everything, and the way you have foregrounded single words. I have also played around with structure, but to create a concrete image. I love the line ‘like seeds, we’re birds, lost’ and the final stanza, which is light and joyful.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed this...I really liked... like seeds we're birds, lost. I think the enormity of mountains does allows us to lose ourselves and it's such a pleasurable place to be lost in.
ReplyDeleteI have the sense of the masculinity of the mountain. It is a gutsy and satisfying climb.
ReplyDeleteis gutted by wind
ReplyDelete& sluiced by countless thunder storms
you sometimes bellow with fire
every 100 years or so
The mountains were just as subjected to their own woes (balded through glaciers or destroyed by volcanic activities) but mankind did not see this but cried out on the destruction caused by these!
Hank
I love the idea of "forest's belly" and the portion after the way "famished and lost" stand apart...unique intriguing write, Grace.
ReplyDeleteLovely poem. My favorite lines: though you reek of slim pickings/our teeth sinks into you/like meat, we're wolves,/
ReplyDeletefamished/like seeds, we're birds,/lost
You have made the mountain come alive! Shoulders, belly. Slim pickings reminds me it's dinner time though. My belly is rumbling like an avalanche. Thanks :)
ReplyDeleteThis is beautiful and profound. I love trekking alongside you.
ReplyDeleteYour poem is so alive, Grace. It makes me want to go hiking & visit the nearest mountain. :)
ReplyDeleteI live in the prairies, so rarely get to see mountains, but have always enjoyed my hikes when I've been out west (I've been to Canada's eastern mountains only once)
ReplyDeleteDescriptive and highly visual, Grace. I love the feel of this!
ReplyDeleteI was having a hard time getting the comment box to work a minute ago, so I hope this works... I want to say that this an amazing poem with beautiful imagery. You've captured the almost spiritual stillness and centeredness that I feel after a mountain hike. - Annie Jadin, speakingvoiceless.wordpress.com
ReplyDeletea lovely description ~
ReplyDelete