It knew not what day is today
Nor what hour is shaping
It slurred like a hapless driver
With no hands to tally
coins and bills
beginnings and endings
My clock danced with no shoes
and threw pebbles across the pond
What of my given birth name
Tying me to a place
Where every girl born is given
the first name Mary
And the last name is everyone's
last name in the town
And even if someone
writes my name on the sand
Ocean tide erases them
like rain cleansing away chalk marks
What am I called when I am newly born
like budding blooms in season
My mouth filled with rain & nectar
At night, I hang up
all the labels I wear- wife,
mother, employee, citizen, daughter
And fold away
all the names & letters I have been called
I put on the color of earth
And dabble on my cheeks
the blush and perfume of flowers
The veil of the moon covers me
I, the unnamed one,
into the wholeness of sky-
Title and poem inspired by Pablo Neruda's Too Many Names poem.
Written for D'verse Poets Pub -Writing a Poem In response - Hosted by Mary ~
Thanks for the visit ~ Picture credit: here
Where I grew up everyone had the last name Whynot. Whu not huh? lol shedding labels and lingering into the unknown can be soothing.
ReplyDeleteThis touches me deeply. These sections are especially powerful:
ReplyDelete"What of my given birth name
Tying me to a place
Where every girl ..."
"What am I called when I am newly born ...
My mouth filled with rain & nectar"
"At night, I hang up
all the labels I wear ...
And fold away"
"I put on the color of earth"
"I, the unnamed one,
into the wholeness of sky"
Thank you for your lovely words ~
DeleteI love the abstract image within this:
ReplyDelete"My clock danced with no shoes
and threw pebbles across the pond"
The somberness in this:
"And even if someone
writes my name on the sand
Ocean tide erases them"
and the intense connection to nature and love in this:
"I put on the color of earth
And dabble on my cheeks
the blush and perfume of flowers
The veil of the moon covers me
I, the unnamed one,
into the wholeness of sky-"
Such a beautiful poem, Grace. :)
Such a dream to find freedom! Your images invoke both the freedom and must be escaped to find it--time, place and the names that call us into obedience. Magnificent poem!
ReplyDeleteOh, Grace. I love the original poem, which I had not read in some time. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteAnd your response? Simply stunning. Those last two stanzas touch me deeply, hold me fast.
This is beautiful, Grace, really one of my favorites of yours; and it is a wonderful response to Neruda's. "And even if someone writes my name in the sand ocean tide erases them...." Just lovely wordings. You really aced this prompt. And I can see the influence of Neruda on your writing oftentimes, Grace.
ReplyDeleteThis is beautifully rendered ... haunting, really, in that I think it would resonant with so many women, universally. I can imagine it being spoken aloud, softly, in that letting-go monotone end-of-another-day (of being so much to so many) voice that comes before sleep.
ReplyDeleteI have just recently started reading Neruda. thank you
ReplyDeleteGrace was on our list of baby names years ago for my firstborn ^_^
Names, names and names..........................yet we forget exactly who we are.......................
ReplyDeleteThe first apple
ReplyDeleteA written word..
a nibble of distance
from God then.. now..
UniVerse away
from real..
oh.. labels
oh.. illusions
you are
not real..
but i play
with you
just for fun..
sMiLes.. just
for fun.. now..:)
A fantastic response to Pablo's poem :D especially adore the closing lines. Beautiful work Grace :D
ReplyDeleteLots of love,
Sanaa
I simply love this Grace. I have found myself that my own writing becomes so much better connecting with the world of Neruda, but i have never read something that talked to me so much like this... I find it fascinating that we name children as if we ever knew what they would be... In some culture you are given a real name only when it's clear what you become... like a flower blooming... and then in the end it's just oneness with the soil... so many great thoughts in this (and in Neruda's words). This is why I loved your poet prompts so much at toads...
ReplyDeleteOh Grace, that closing couplet is simply stunning....one reads and imagines having the same first name as every other girl, then the putting away of all the roles and the escape into the "wholeness of sky". Sigh. Just perfection.
ReplyDeletewow, Grace, this is beautiful.
ReplyDeleteThank you for posting this poem - I'd not read it and absolutely love it.
ReplyDeleteYour response is excellent. I especially like your last two stanzas. I smiled at the idea of neatly folding up all the titles/roles we wear and placing them on a chair for the night ... We really do that, don't we? The REMs don't care who we are. And I loved the idea of dabbing the flower scent upon our cheeks --
I always smooth an aloe treated cream on my arms and legs - that stuff of earth as we join the dusk.
Oh, my mind wanders with this one. I like it very much!
What a meaningful poem you chose to respond to, Grace, I loved it. The last verse of your poem gave me such a feeling of freedom. To take off all the labels and just BE...exquisite.
ReplyDeleteLike Zorba, I've had many names, HS nickname, three stepfathers, Nav name, theatrical name, college name, grandparent's name & on & on. Never met my father, so that is a phantom name added to the list.
ReplyDeleteThis is a stunning piece, Grace, the woman's POV, & yet so much more. Any/all of the lines could be quoted, not just the ones mentioned; just wow.
One somehow are made to sdjust to maintain the dignity of self. Leave whatever had been during the day and retire nameless and start the new day without worrying about yesterday
ReplyDeleteHank
Wonderful It sounds really liberating to release yourself into the sky. It also makes me wonder about the morning and drawing ourselves into the specific and tangible. =)
ReplyDeleteI love this imagery: "My clock danced with no shoes
ReplyDeleteand threw pebbles across the pond"---it is so lush and full of beauty.
This is really good! One of my favorites you've written.
ReplyDeleteSooo beautiful!! Thanks dear Grace!! xoxox
ReplyDeleteJust enjoyed this so much, Grace. As I was reading, I tried to guess who was your inspiration and I thought of Wallace Stevens. In any case, you can't beat Neruda who is in my top ten list of favorite poets. But, you know, hanging around dVerse, there are many "unknowns" that could fit up there, too.
ReplyDeleteThis is really good!
ReplyDeletethis is wonderful
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