Thursday, July 25, 2019

Sayuri-san



what lies beneath your lacquered eyes, are you               
hiding a jewel, onyx as pain from                         
hundred lashes of an errant word. you brew                   
your secrets, guard your wide gold sleeves with cane    
has venom tinged your blood to rust, a bane                        
once, your laughter was black raven’s clone        
as you bargain with harvest moon for bones  
rise, dispel this ghostly ritual at night        
press your red hot lips against the limestone                  
unbound your robe & step into moonlight          


Photo credit: Totomai Martinez


Posted for OpenLinkNight - dVerse Poets Pub, hosted by Linda Lee Lyberg - Form is Dizain The basic rules for the dizain are that it has one stanza consisting of 10 lines, with 10 syllables per line, and the rhyme scheme is ababbccdcd.

19 comments:

  1. This poem is one that rewards a second reading. Wonderfully detailed.

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  2. Incredible poem. Your mastery of the form is impressive!

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  3. This is gorgeously rendered, Grace!💞 Especially like; "are you hiding a jewel, onyx as pain from hundred lashes of an errant word."😊

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  4. A detailed and vivid dizain, Grace, that paints a haunting image. I like the gentle vowel shift from ‘bane’ to ‘clone’.

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  5. Mysterious and a little unsettling. I didn't even notice the rhymes—very subtle.

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  6. Sizzling dizain that urges glorious liberation. Why mess with the spells when you have the power inside. Love it!

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  7. Wow, this left me struggling to understand. It's dark and mysterious.

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  8. What an interesting and unique write, Grace!

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  9. Love the rhymes in this...cane/bane/clone/bones...and also in particular the last two lines...it's a difficult enough form, this is impressive!

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  10. Perfect illustration of how so many wear masks to hide the pain of their lives.

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  11. Nice line: "press your red hot lips against the limestone"

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  12. So much to ponder... I am picturing a world of labyrinthine negotiations and desperation in the layered, "bargain with harvest moon for bones." Oh to step out into the moonlight, as one is, without the burdens of convention, without the lashes for an errant word." Marvelous and painful and hopeful. A true Grace.

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  13. This is wonderful. If the picture of the Geisha inspired you then you hit it out of the ballpark! Stunning imagery 🙂

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  14. A fascinating subject, full of mystery well conveyed here. (Alas, I still haven't read Memoirs of a Geisha, though I mean to – but it is not necessary to have read that to appreciate your poem.) I like the cheeky slipping of the rhyme in second line to the penultimate word – it works, and adds interest. I'd prefer 'unbind' to 'unbound' in last line: to me it is more grammatical, therefore conveys the meaning better (but I may have misunderstood).

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  15. Grace this is fabulous. So much juxtapositioning of hot and cold...onyx as pain....brewed secrets....venom touched blood to rust...and the penultimate red hot lips pressed to limestone (heat to cold). Imagery is just excellent here!

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  16. The imagery is astounding and so delicate, detailed and powerful. Very geisha?

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