what lies beneath your lacquered eyes, are you
hiding a jewel, onyx as pain from
hundred lashes of an errant word. you brew
your secrets, guard your wide gold sleeves with cane
has venom tinged your blood to rust, a bane
once, your laughter was black raven’s clone
as you bargain with harvest moon for bones
rise, dispel this ghostly ritual at night
press your red hot lips against the limestone
unbound your robe & step into moonlight
Photo credit: Totomai Martinez
Posted for OpenLinkNight - dVerse Poets Pub, hosted by Linda Lee Lyberg - Form is Dizain. The basic rules for the dizain are that it has one stanza consisting of 10 lines, with 10 syllables per line, and the rhyme scheme is ababbccdcd.
This poem is one that rewards a second reading. Wonderfully detailed.
ReplyDeleteIncredible poem. Your mastery of the form is impressive!
ReplyDeleteThis is gorgeously rendered, Grace!💞 Especially like; "are you hiding a jewel, onyx as pain from hundred lashes of an errant word."😊
ReplyDeleteA detailed and vivid dizain, Grace, that paints a haunting image. I like the gentle vowel shift from ‘bane’ to ‘clone’.
ReplyDeleteMysterious and a little unsettling. I didn't even notice the rhymes—very subtle.
ReplyDeleteSizzling dizain that urges glorious liberation. Why mess with the spells when you have the power inside. Love it!
ReplyDeleteWow, this left me struggling to understand. It's dark and mysterious.
ReplyDeleteWhat an interesting and unique write, Grace!
ReplyDeletemagical!
ReplyDeleteLove the rhymes in this...cane/bane/clone/bones...and also in particular the last two lines...it's a difficult enough form, this is impressive!
ReplyDeletePerfect illustration of how so many wear masks to hide the pain of their lives.
ReplyDeleteNice line: "press your red hot lips against the limestone"
ReplyDeleteSo much to ponder... I am picturing a world of labyrinthine negotiations and desperation in the layered, "bargain with harvest moon for bones." Oh to step out into the moonlight, as one is, without the burdens of convention, without the lashes for an errant word." Marvelous and painful and hopeful. A true Grace.
ReplyDeleteMysterious and haunting.
ReplyDeleteThis is wonderful. If the picture of the Geisha inspired you then you hit it out of the ballpark! Stunning imagery 🙂
ReplyDeleteA fascinating subject, full of mystery well conveyed here. (Alas, I still haven't read Memoirs of a Geisha, though I mean to – but it is not necessary to have read that to appreciate your poem.) I like the cheeky slipping of the rhyme in second line to the penultimate word – it works, and adds interest. I'd prefer 'unbind' to 'unbound' in last line: to me it is more grammatical, therefore conveys the meaning better (but I may have misunderstood).
ReplyDeleteGrace this is fabulous. So much juxtapositioning of hot and cold...onyx as pain....brewed secrets....venom touched blood to rust...and the penultimate red hot lips pressed to limestone (heat to cold). Imagery is just excellent here!
ReplyDeleteThe imagery is astounding and so delicate, detailed and powerful. Very geisha?
ReplyDeleteHaunting and sensual poem, Grace.
ReplyDelete