He tarried, asking for time and one more
Chance, as if sorrow was not his whim
True, women are his weakness, keeping score
His true colors bared - she can't forgive him
Outside, leaves of maple trees, birch, aspen
Turn to brilliant autumn tints, fanning awe
Sun muscles its way from grey, red jasmine
Her hopes - forgive herself, sharpen her claws
Posted for dVerse Poets Pub - Meeting the Bar, with Frank Hubeny. We are writing iambic pentameter. Pub doors open at 3pm EST.
Nice ending: "forgive herself, sharpen her claws"
ReplyDeleteI really like how you mixed the end of that relationship with the coming of fall, and the sharping of claws...
ReplyDeleteI love the second stanza, Grace, with the different trees, the brilliant autumn tints and the lines:
ReplyDelete'Sun muscles its way from grey, red jasmine
Her hopes - forgive herself, sharpen her claws'.
There are men out there who seek trophies and conquests; shame on them--passion without love is as hollow as an empty cocoon.
ReplyDeleteCould be a ballad.
ReplyDeleteHave to get those claws ready as you begin again
ReplyDeleteIt is interesting that you compared leaving with leaving!! A great connection to nature.
ReplyDeleteGood ending - making note of that.
ReplyDeleteSharp determination in the midst of such natural beauty.... love it!
ReplyDeletesun muscles its way from grey - showing that nothing is too impossible. love her sharpened claws, beauty and tenacity in one line
ReplyDeleteLove you use of color and color related words- very effective!
ReplyDeleteNice transition from one fall to another.
ReplyDeleteNicely done. I really like, "fanning awe." Great word combination.
ReplyDeleteThis is beautiful! Relationship and nature. I love the last line.
ReplyDeleteThat feisty last line! Analogy is on point!
ReplyDeleteI like the way you play with "true colours" here.
ReplyDeleteWhat's that classic song by Spirit - "It's Nature's Way" -- all things are revealed in time and show their true colors, the way the uniform green of a forest turns into a riot of reds and yellows. One heart true, the other a wing flying everywhere. There's such a fierce reconciling here. It's nature's way ...
ReplyDeleteIt happened in the autumn time of the year. With her claws sharp, she is ready for winter.
ReplyDeleteI like autumn tints, grey and red jasmine...and the gentle warning.😊
ReplyDeleteFabulous "fall" poetry, Grace!
ReplyDelete