"Everyday in every way I’m getting better and better" - Emile Coue
Thursday, October 25, 2018
Snapshots
he huddles under forlorn blankets
beside post, his belongings boxed,
all stillness
but for his cap begging for alms
winter is coming
she hears the aches in her bones,
wails of distress in her room
she pens a note:
travel & listen to bird songs
winter is coming
subway platform picks up haunting
strains of the saxophone, evoking music
of yesterdays, crumbling
in sweet notes
winter is coming
autumn leaves are dotted white
as trees shed their flaming colors-
my album of photos show, not grief
but tranquility
winter is coming
Posted for dVerse Poets Pub - Meeting The Bar - Repetition, hosted by Jilly.
Thanks for the visit.
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You really snagged me at the third stanza. Buskers always cheer me up; heavy in tradition and emotional connection. You have quite a collection now of odes to autumn.
ReplyDeleteA tranquil tone is set with your word choices and given deeper emphasis with that marvelous refrain! Terrific use of repetition.
ReplyDeleteHowever bright the leaves, and warm the collective places, winter cold is coming.
ReplyDeleteThe repetition of 'Winter is coming' is a powerful reminder, Grace. I really like the shape and message of this poem. The strains of the saxophone in the third stanza remind me of 'For Free' by Joni Mitchell. :)
ReplyDeleteI feel the angst of winter coming in the first stanzas... there is melancholy until something resembling acceptance in the end... the repetition of winter is coming is like the slave whispering "memento mori" during your triumph.
ReplyDeleteI do not like that "winter is coming" because I, too, hear the ache in my bones with the wet and cold weather. But I DO like this poem. Excellent use of repetition.
ReplyDeleteI love the repeated line - the different stanzas lend it a slightly different meaning or tone each time round.
ReplyDeleteI like your borrowing the phrase from GOT. it does have a certain ring to it. I feel the ache in my bones but, I love the winter. I like the mini poems separated from the repetitive refrain.
ReplyDeleteSure can't stop winter from coming. ugg
ReplyDeleteWinter can cause concerns. I like how your last stanza emphasized tranquility.
ReplyDeleteVery nice application of the prompt...love that she 'hears the ache in her bones' interesting phrase.
ReplyDeleteYes it's that time of year and many are less fortunate than us. Your poem is heartfelt and touches me 🙂
ReplyDeleteBeautiful and evocative, Grace. And now, I hear the theme to "Game of Thrones" in my head! LOL!
ReplyDeleteAutumn is such a rich season, and yet there is that niggling awareness that winter is coming - your spacing demonstrates this effectively.
ReplyDeleteThe refrain is like that first dreadful storm that rolls down from the north. You see it coming, watch it build. Yes, this is like that.
ReplyDeleteLiked how the refrain - indifferent, uninterested - holds the verses together. I particularly liked 'she pens a note "travel & listen to bird songs". Such a striking contrast to the first stanza's poverty.
ReplyDeleteThis is delightful! It read as a series of snapshots with the reminder that winter's on its way. I like the different scenes...make me want to know more abut each one. Love it!
ReplyDeletei feel the winter coming, some are stationary some are moving images, all direct to an anticipated coldness. reminds me of Kurt Vonnegut's repetition of "so it goes" in Slaughterhouse -5, signalling another death each time we read that line, winter is coming, is telling me to get prepared.
ReplyDeleteThis evokes a refrain of winter's chill in my bones. I think I'll turn up the heater, it's 68° in here. Thanks Grace. Here's a mug of hot cocoa for you
ReplyDeleteYou've written both a warning and a welcome, I think. Cool snapshots, Grace!
ReplyDeleteYour poem makes me feel cold for some reason! must be that winter is coming! Well done, Grace!
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