Thursday, October 25, 2018

Snapshots



he huddles under forlorn blankets
beside post, his belongings boxed,
all stillness
but for his cap begging for alms

                       winter is coming

she hears the aches in her bones,
wails of distress in her room
she pens a note:   
travel & listen to bird songs 

                       winter is coming

subway platform picks up haunting
strains of the saxophone, evoking music
of yesterdays, crumbling 
in sweet notes  

                      winter is coming

autumn leaves are dotted white
as trees shed their flaming colors-
my album of photos show, not grief
but tranquility   

                     winter is coming



Posted for dVerse Poets Pub - Meeting The Bar - Repetition, hosted by Jilly.
Thanks for the visit.  

21 comments:

  1. You really snagged me at the third stanza. Buskers always cheer me up; heavy in tradition and emotional connection. You have quite a collection now of odes to autumn.

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  2. A tranquil tone is set with your word choices and given deeper emphasis with that marvelous refrain! Terrific use of repetition.

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  3. However bright the leaves, and warm the collective places, winter cold is coming.

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  4. The repetition of 'Winter is coming' is a powerful reminder, Grace. I really like the shape and message of this poem. The strains of the saxophone in the third stanza remind me of 'For Free' by Joni Mitchell. :)

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  5. I feel the angst of winter coming in the first stanzas... there is melancholy until something resembling acceptance in the end... the repetition of winter is coming is like the slave whispering "memento mori" during your triumph.

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  6. I do not like that "winter is coming" because I, too, hear the ache in my bones with the wet and cold weather. But I DO like this poem. Excellent use of repetition.

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  7. I love the repeated line - the different stanzas lend it a slightly different meaning or tone each time round.

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  8. I like your borrowing the phrase from GOT. it does have a certain ring to it. I feel the ache in my bones but, I love the winter. I like the mini poems separated from the repetitive refrain.

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  9. Sure can't stop winter from coming. ugg

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  10. Winter can cause concerns. I like how your last stanza emphasized tranquility.

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  11. Very nice application of the prompt...love that she 'hears the ache in her bones' interesting phrase.

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  12. Yes it's that time of year and many are less fortunate than us. Your poem is heartfelt and touches me 🙂

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  13. Beautiful and evocative, Grace. And now, I hear the theme to "Game of Thrones" in my head! LOL!

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  14. Autumn is such a rich season, and yet there is that niggling awareness that winter is coming - your spacing demonstrates this effectively.

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  15. The refrain is like that first dreadful storm that rolls down from the north. You see it coming, watch it build. Yes, this is like that.

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  16. Liked how the refrain - indifferent, uninterested - holds the verses together. I particularly liked 'she pens a note "travel & listen to bird songs". Such a striking contrast to the first stanza's poverty.

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  17. This is delightful! It read as a series of snapshots with the reminder that winter's on its way. I like the different scenes...make me want to know more abut each one. Love it!

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  18. i feel the winter coming, some are stationary some are moving images, all direct to an anticipated coldness. reminds me of Kurt Vonnegut's repetition of "so it goes" in Slaughterhouse -5, signalling another death each time we read that line, winter is coming, is telling me to get prepared.

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  19. This evokes a refrain of winter's chill in my bones. I think I'll turn up the heater, it's 68° in here. Thanks Grace. Here's a mug of hot cocoa for you

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  20. You've written both a warning and a welcome, I think. Cool snapshots, Grace!

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  21. Your poem makes me feel cold for some reason! must be that winter is coming! Well done, Grace!

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Thank you for your comments and visit. I appreciate them ~