i bottle a lightning
swallow sleeping pills
over mushroom of dark clouds
questions flare in my head
stroked by fire coals
on summer night
i salt my lungs
amidst flashing siren & neon lights
into slumbering waters
i slip away
scattered dust and pollen
fragile is a seed
burnt raw - in the inside
.....alone
.....alone
burnt-raw in the inside
fragile seeds,
scattered dust and pollen
slipping away
into slumbering waters
amidst flashing siren & neon lights
i salt my lungs
on summer night
stroked by fire coals
questions flare in my head
i, mushroom of dark clouds?
or unswallowing sleeping pills
i, bottle of lightning?
Posted for dVerse Poets Pub - Reverse Poetry hosted by Frank Hubeny.
A good example of reverse poetry is A Civilized Man. Please join us when the pub door opens at 3pm EST.
Very cool, Grace.
ReplyDeleteI like how you made slight shifts in some of the repeated lines which helps accentuate the reversal. The lines don't have to be exact as I've seen the form used.
ReplyDeleteThese are subtly different. Very well executed.
ReplyDeletewow! both versions are cool :)
ReplyDeleteOh, this is so well reversed, Grace! I love the layout and the way you have scattered different kinds of light throughout the poem.
ReplyDeleteA reverse to find, all it can take to get out of mind.
ReplyDeleteI love the way you’ve laid this out, Grace. The title is so appropriate right now....and the swallowing of sleeping pills - the burn of loneliness here. Reading them both ways portrays a slightly different mood for me.
ReplyDeleteLove the reversals! What a fascinating exercise - one I will have to keep in mind to try.
ReplyDeleteIt certainly has been a summer of wildfires. There is a state of emergency in effect, currently, in BC - but really most of the summer has been a sweltering, smoky ordeal. We have entertained guests from Ontario and had a cottage holiday with the family - though, this summer has been much less pleasant (than others) and much, much harder having to put up with endless bouts of ashes and heat.
Thanks for popping by my blog, Grace.
Nice work Grace. I like the seed, dust, and pollen floating away into the night while you catch lightning in a bottle!!
ReplyDeleteI can feel everything about this and think it was so clever to change the punctuation. I especially like the sharp, "I salt my lungs / amidst flashing siren & neon lights." There's urgency and horror to these lines.
ReplyDeleteVery effective. I like the "unswallowing of pills" in the second half.
ReplyDeleteAmazing what subtle changes can do to thoughts. Beautiful, Grace.
ReplyDeletethis holds some strong emotions. Well done!
ReplyDeleteTo swallow or not to swallow--that is the question? Terrific message and thrust in both directions. I like this form.
ReplyDeleteAmazingly done in style, Grace. Lots of prior planning this entails, obviously!
ReplyDeleteHank