Thursday, February 7, 2019

at the mall



a young man sits beside my table
          in food court, without ordering
          just twirling & examining his 
hands, as if he is reading
          private letter, sacred
          to himself
          while everyone else eyes are glued 
          to their phones

i think of delicate glass
          bubbling underneath
i think of colors swirling on canvas
          as his hands clasp, unclasp & fall
raindrops
on sea of screens & french 
           fries & plastic 
           cups

he leaves quietly
          nonchalantly, one last look
          (before disappearing with the rolling crowd)
eyes       
          of lost bird



Posted for dVerse Poets Pub - OpenLinkNight - Thanks for the visit.

26 comments:

  1. This is such a great untold story... sometimes you see those people who seems to carry a whole novel with them. It seemed a bit sad the way he seemed so lost.

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  2. You nailed it at /eyes of a lost bird/. Good observing. I love the fact everyone else is glued to their phones. Technology has created the great disconnect.
    Saw a cartoon of St. Peter perplexed by new arrivals wandering about staring at their empty hands.

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  3. Wonder, is this young man grieving the sudden lost of his smartphone, like one would, a lover?

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  4. Lost eyes of a bird....amazing observation Grace. I too have seen these people of all ages, lost in the flood of humanity, on their way to drowning.

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  5. This is incredibly gripping, Grace!❤️ It feels like a prologue to a bestseller novel!! Enjoyed reading this a lot!

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  6. I like the way this looks on the page and the air of mystery plus the every day details mixed with poetic images..from french fries to sacred letters and lost birds. Well done! JIM

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  7. This is a phenomenal piece. It flows beautifully. It would make an awesome beginning to a short story or maybe even a book. Well done!

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  8. His hands were probably more interesting than all those phones too.

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  9. I like that I can create my own backstory to the scene you've painted. The last line leaves an impact, sparking more curiosity.

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  10. Eyes of a lost bird - Wow, that says a lot. Very observant of you Grace. At least he wasn't flying with the flock on their smart phones. Hands tell a story about a journey.

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  11. His hands--and the eyes of a lost bird. I can imagine this scene so well. It's strange how we get absorbed watching someone, so that we feel like we almost know them--or want to know more.

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  12. This one would have fit into the invisible world we talked about earlier! Great job. The descriptions and images are on target!

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  13. I loved this, it felt like a complete story contained in only a few moments. Well done!

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  14. I enjoyed the close observation of this poem, Grace, and where it takes your imagination. The details are beautiful and I love the description of the young man
    ‘just twirling & examining his
    hands, as if he is reading
    private letter, sacred
    to himself’,
    his eyes ‘of lost bird’,
    and the fact that he and the speaker are the only ones not glued to mobile phones. The mall only intrudes on this quite intimate moment with French fries & plastic cups.

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  15. What body language can convey, or imagine in another. The ending is sad.,,lost bird.

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  16. I was just thinking last night of when the internet and phones didn't exist and we wrote letters, waiting for answers and answering back. Slower, more thoughtful. Wonderful capture.

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  17. Thank you for reminding me to be more observant!

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  18. I like the description of him with eyes of a lost bird and reading what is "sacred
    to himself".

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  19. There are so many untold stories. You've made a picture of one here in particular. --sk

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  20. Wonder what was going on inside that head? Perhaps he was a sorcerer Grace, conjuring a spell?!

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  21. 'private letter, sacred to himself' is so wonderfully intimate amid the hustle of a food court.

    I wonder if he was stimming.

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  22. I envision this young man as a glassmaker that practices shaping his medium. I like how you create a mood of loneliness and sorrow with such an economy of images! Beautifully done!

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  23. Interesting.
    What did he read on his hand?
    What did the lines say?
    Amazing thoughts came to your mind,
    The memory will stay!
    Zero Tolerance For Misinformation - Anita

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  24. An observational story that leaves the reader to fill in some of the blanks. I like that this could be interpreted in different ways.

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  25. “examining his hands, as if he is reading a private letter, sacred to himself” - a beautiful and evocative image. I like this and the rainfall on screens and french fries. And you examining him.

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  26. Very interesting description of the scene. I felt as though I was there watching him as well.

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