the night comes faster
faster than my blinking eyes
eyes that hold secrets
secrets black as crows, cry
cry to be broken free
free as sky hued in grey
grey bristles with energy, spark
spark the bare lonely tree & i sway
sway where the wind calls
calls forth my words
words: crimson birthing, raw
raw as full moon rising, fleeing like birds
Posted for Imaginary Garden for Real Toads - Loop Poetry - where I am hosting, smiles ~
The form calls for repeating the last word of the first line & using it as the first word for the second line & so forth ~ Rhyming is optional, though I have used abcb rhyming scheme.
Shared with Poets United
Love the sense of movement this poem invokes, especially love secrets black as crows.
ReplyDeleteThanks Kathryn ~
Deletethat was so well done Grace ...I enjoyed this challenge even though it was a struggle for me...
ReplyDeleteThanks Robert ~ Hope it was fun though, smiles ~
DeleteLiked the raw raw as a full moon rising, gives quite the image
ReplyDeleteThanks Pat ~
Delete"secrets as black as crows..." is the line I shall remember. This was beautiful.
ReplyDeleteThank you Gail ~
Deleteha. i like the looping....the end and beginning links...i like how you looped in constructs as well with the birds and that last line is killer too....
ReplyDeleteQuite a tricky challenge actually ~ Thanks Brian ~
DeleteLove the words used in this form, beautiful Grace.
ReplyDeleteThanks Lisa ~
DeleteVery nice. Love how the repeating words hurl us into the next stanza. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you ~
DeleteI chance not to analyze for I know little of the style, the form, the meter, the loops, etc. I do know it was pleasurable to read and even more enjoyable when I read it aloud
ReplyDeleteGracias for this today, mi amiga
Thank you ~
DeleteLovely
ReplyDeleteThank you ~
DeleteOh I really love this form Grace. You nailed it.
ReplyDeleteThank you Keith ~
DeleteWonderful form, Grace. I would have liked to have tried this form, but time got away from me. Sigh. I like each stanza as well as the total package....expressing a bit about secrets, loneliness, & freedom,
ReplyDeleteThank you Mary ~
DeleteThank you Loredana ~ It was fun to do ~
ReplyDeleteHi, Thanks. I got to learn a new form of poetry:)
ReplyDeleteInteresting rhymes. Enchanting write... secrets black as crows... :-)
ReplyDelete-HA
You have used this form beautifully Grace! I like the idea of secrets crying to broken free.
ReplyDeleteOh, but this is magical!
ReplyDeletea bit of whimsy here, i think - & the poem reads like autumn's darker (but no less beautiful) side... just lovely, Grace
ReplyDeletelove this line: "spark the bare lonely tree & i sway." hard challenge!
ReplyDeleteas kim says above, magical indeed!
ReplyDeletelove your header too.
"secrets as black as crows"
ReplyDeletelove this Grace! I love this form~
Thank you...
yours is filled with the conjuring allure of the season~
Hi Grace, richly written and evocative work, filled with yearning - this resonated with me - Thank you... Scott www.scotthastie.com
ReplyDeleteBeautiful Grace, I love this form too.
ReplyDeleteLove this Grace.. have to do Loop poetry for Tuesday.. *smiles*
ReplyDeleteLooking forward to it Bjorn ~ Smiles ~
DeleteThe images are each exquisite and I love the motion you bring, too, Grace especially the swaying of the trees and the poet.
ReplyDeletewhere wind calls....
ReplyDeleteVery beautiful looping - I love the "secrets black as crows" best.
ReplyDelete...this is beautiful & mesmerizing Grace... i like it when a poem creates an effect that allows me to be carried away, swaying like a falling leaf as i go through each lines & that is exactly what you did here... i enjoyed it... smiles...
ReplyDelete"faster than my blinking eyes cry"...your images are so vivid, Grace.
ReplyDeleteK
This is perfect
ReplyDeleteLove how this "loops" back to the beginning imagery of birds. Really enjoyed this!
ReplyDeleteJust beautiful, powerful, 'secrets, black as crows' ...
ReplyDeleteThis is a wonderful combination of dark imagery and the art of writing. I especially like the way you ended the poem.
ReplyDeletepowerful and rhythmic. happy week, Grace.
ReplyDeleteL' homme est un oiseau de passage
ReplyDeleteEn état de "Grâce" dans l'étincelle
Lové sous cette soie blanche
The word play was magical....like a ride on a sloppy hill... Thanks for it
ReplyDeleteLove this Grace - I pictured the wind as she stood fighting against the elements on the outside and within her - Wonderful.
ReplyDeletewords - birthing and raw... A beautiful wind-swept ride of a poem! Nice.
ReplyDeleteThe words have a weight to them and rhythm that I really enjoyed.
ReplyDeleteThis works so well, Grace--the echoes like that wind sweeping through. K. ( manicddaily)
ReplyDeletebeautiful....image/words/form.
ReplyDeletethank you