Thursday, February 7, 2019
at the mall
a young man sits beside my table
in food court, without ordering
just twirling & examining his
hands, as if he is reading
private letter, sacred
to himself
while everyone else eyes are glued
to their phones
i think of delicate glass
bubbling underneath
i think of colors swirling on canvas
as his hands clasp, unclasp & fall
raindrops
on sea of screens & french
fries & plastic
cups
he leaves quietly
nonchalantly, one last look
(before disappearing with the rolling crowd)
eyes
of lost bird
Posted for dVerse Poets Pub - OpenLinkNight - Thanks for the visit.
Labels:
city journals,
city life,
city poems
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This is such a great untold story... sometimes you see those people who seems to carry a whole novel with them. It seemed a bit sad the way he seemed so lost.
ReplyDeleteYou nailed it at /eyes of a lost bird/. Good observing. I love the fact everyone else is glued to their phones. Technology has created the great disconnect.
ReplyDeleteSaw a cartoon of St. Peter perplexed by new arrivals wandering about staring at their empty hands.
Wonder, is this young man grieving the sudden lost of his smartphone, like one would, a lover?
ReplyDeleteLost eyes of a bird....amazing observation Grace. I too have seen these people of all ages, lost in the flood of humanity, on their way to drowning.
ReplyDeleteThis is incredibly gripping, Grace!❤️ It feels like a prologue to a bestseller novel!! Enjoyed reading this a lot!
ReplyDeleteI like the way this looks on the page and the air of mystery plus the every day details mixed with poetic images..from french fries to sacred letters and lost birds. Well done! JIM
ReplyDeleteThis is a phenomenal piece. It flows beautifully. It would make an awesome beginning to a short story or maybe even a book. Well done!
ReplyDeleteHis hands were probably more interesting than all those phones too.
ReplyDeleteI like that I can create my own backstory to the scene you've painted. The last line leaves an impact, sparking more curiosity.
ReplyDeleteEyes of a lost bird - Wow, that says a lot. Very observant of you Grace. At least he wasn't flying with the flock on their smart phones. Hands tell a story about a journey.
ReplyDeleteHis hands--and the eyes of a lost bird. I can imagine this scene so well. It's strange how we get absorbed watching someone, so that we feel like we almost know them--or want to know more.
ReplyDeleteThis one would have fit into the invisible world we talked about earlier! Great job. The descriptions and images are on target!
ReplyDeleteI loved this, it felt like a complete story contained in only a few moments. Well done!
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed the close observation of this poem, Grace, and where it takes your imagination. The details are beautiful and I love the description of the young man
ReplyDelete‘just twirling & examining his
hands, as if he is reading
private letter, sacred
to himself’,
his eyes ‘of lost bird’,
and the fact that he and the speaker are the only ones not glued to mobile phones. The mall only intrudes on this quite intimate moment with French fries & plastic cups.
What body language can convey, or imagine in another. The ending is sad.,,lost bird.
ReplyDeleteI was just thinking last night of when the internet and phones didn't exist and we wrote letters, waiting for answers and answering back. Slower, more thoughtful. Wonderful capture.
ReplyDeleteThank you for reminding me to be more observant!
ReplyDeleteI like the description of him with eyes of a lost bird and reading what is "sacred
ReplyDeleteto himself".
There are so many untold stories. You've made a picture of one here in particular. --sk
ReplyDeleteWonder what was going on inside that head? Perhaps he was a sorcerer Grace, conjuring a spell?!
ReplyDelete'private letter, sacred to himself' is so wonderfully intimate amid the hustle of a food court.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if he was stimming.
I envision this young man as a glassmaker that practices shaping his medium. I like how you create a mood of loneliness and sorrow with such an economy of images! Beautifully done!
ReplyDeleteInteresting.
ReplyDeleteWhat did he read on his hand?
What did the lines say?
Amazing thoughts came to your mind,
The memory will stay!
Zero Tolerance For Misinformation - Anita
An observational story that leaves the reader to fill in some of the blanks. I like that this could be interpreted in different ways.
ReplyDelete“examining his hands, as if he is reading a private letter, sacred to himself” - a beautiful and evocative image. I like this and the rainfall on screens and french fries. And you examining him.
ReplyDeleteVery interesting description of the scene. I felt as though I was there watching him as well.
ReplyDelete