Monday, April 4, 2016

Frozen pond






she said what she had to say

unbiased truth,
traumatic thoughts of young
woman, preyed by puppet-master

now she is offered
freedom 
if she can lie 
again

glimpse of her future
shimmering rose, pixelating
on wintered pond

she said what she had to say





Posted for D'verse Poets Pub - Quadrille, hosted by Victoria ~  The word is shimmer, in 44 word count

26 comments:

  1. First off, that photo is gorgeous!!! Can I please come into it and hide there forever?!

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    1. The way you turned the meaning in that last line is pure genius.

      "glimpse of her future
      shimmering rose, pixelating" ... This is a poem all by itself, for me.

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    2. The pictures from Colossal are pretty amazing and it's my get go of images ~

      It's a frozen pond though; I prefer hiding under a beach umbrella ~

      Thanks dear ~

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    3. I prefer poolside, with no umbrella. I can't stand sand. It's so yucky!

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  2. The thought of using the same ending line and beginning, and how the meaning has transformed... a future in a frozen pond... shudder... those truths are mighty swords of Damocles

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  3. Wonderful, unique take on the prompt. I love this stanza:
    glimpse of her future
    shimmering rose, pixelating
    on wintered pond

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  4. Have to let out what you need some times and then say what you have to at others.

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  5. The repeat of that line...with new emphasis changing meaning. Wonderful.

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  6. What an amazing photo...truly it is stunning. I just got through reading a news story of a young woman in the music business who was offered her release from a contract with a producer if she would retract her accusation of rape by him. My mind went to that sad story when I read this.

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    1. Yes Gayle, she was in my mind, when I wrote this ~ Thanks~

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  7. I feel for her...great 44. Gorgeous photo, too.

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  8. I love the last line echoing the first, and its emphasis.

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  9. Looking at that photo and reading the last line, I like to think that pixilated light is a rosy future for her, saying what she had to say regardless. If nothing else, freedom from oppression.

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  10. A disturbing predicament...when cold puppet-master walks away free too.

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  11. Beautiful poem, beautiful photo. Pretty words, yet an undertone of tragedy. Excellent.

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  12. on point. sharp; direct, impactful ~

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  13. I think I have approached this prompt from a similar angle, Grace. You know what they say - great minds and all that. I love that stanza:
    'glimpse of her future
    shimmering rose, pixelating
    on wintered pond'
    :)

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  14. Indeed sometimes one says what they need to in order to escape a bad situation.

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  15. Same line, beginning and end, with only a font change to one word -- excellent. The use of the word is so beautiful coupled with the photo.
    You've captured in 44 words beauty and a truth of life for some.
    Wonderfully done.

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  16. This poem is rich with meaning. Somehow, I am glad that the woman here has learned to survive and fight for her future.

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  17. Disturbing -- well penned. Complex

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  18. A tough price to pay for freedom. It amazes me how much story can reside in a 44 word poem.

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