my eyes dream of tea cups
with cranberry spice,
goji berries and red dates
as subway train zips and thuds
with familiarity along
wheels, bumps, skids, tracks
city stations are chimes of bells
as tunnel doors click, clack
and announcements reel, pause
no more do i fret, shudder
or tarry but sleep through all the
chatter and clutter of train commute
outside, the sun sets off
in raspberry and orange hues
our daily departures, green-timed
by swiping of shiny cards
cocooned in our pockets-
{silence yawns...stretches 2 secs}
boom !!!! blast of sounds zoom in, i
walk outside the station
where raindrops are murmuring
{shush}
Posted for dVerse Poets Pub - OpenLinkNight - Playing with sounds - Onomatopoeia
Thanks for the visit. Picture credit: Here
The sounds of a commuter train ... and the slow a awakening to a the rush of cities... love the sounds and the intensity in the end. Reminds me of Rhapsody in blue as depicted in Fantasia.
ReplyDeleteNice way of describing the sunset as "the sun sets off"
ReplyDeleteDelicious word-smithing; really feel like I'm sitting alongside you. I never lived in a city with subway system, but have visited a few. Love this poem.
ReplyDeleteThe cranberry spice, goji berries and red dates made my sore mouth water, how delicious, Grace!And then suddenly I was transported to a subway train - I like the effective use of verbs in that stanza - plenty of action and at top speed.I also enjoyed the sound effects and the vivid colours!
ReplyDeleteI love the sounds in your commute Grace, especially 'city stations are chimes of bells as tunnel doors click, clack and announcements reel, pause'- it brings back happy memories from the London Underground :o) xxx
ReplyDeleteI've never ridden in a subway, or even a train, so I took voyeuristic pleasure in your description. Come to think of it, I've never heard of a goji berry either. Am I the girl in the bubble?
ReplyDeletean incredible onomatopoeic journey and it took such an unpredictable direction from its opening - so creative Grace
ReplyDeleteI like this noisy, colourful poem that ends in hush.
ReplyDeleteThe sounds are very effective for creating the scene, but I particularly like the infusion of colours and fruit, countering the mechanical.
ReplyDeleteI like the sounds in your piece!
ReplyDeleteA beautiful journey in surround sounds tastes and beautiful colours, soothed by the welcome [shush}.
ReplyDeleteYummy write!
Anna :o]
Sure can change with a bang depending on where you begin and end and begin again
ReplyDeleteVery nice use of Onomatopoeia. I can hear the subway screeching and bumping to a halt!
ReplyDeleteI do like the sounds in this. Most of all like the sound of hush as the rain begins to fall. From noisy to quite - what an amazing ride
ReplyDeleteLove the "sounds" here and the finish of raindrops murmuring.
ReplyDeleteThe narrative and the descriptions are wonderful.
ReplyDeleteThe colors of the sunset in the food, the "shush" when the ride is over...you took me there, Grace.
ReplyDeleteSo deliciously moody! I was right there with you!
ReplyDeletei am a lover of trains and public transportation as weird as that sounds it gives me a connect with life, you gave me much joy reading this, as the sounds bounced off my head and heart
ReplyDeleteThe colors, flavors, and sounds "click" with your autumn scene!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful Grace. I can see you settled in on your travel and all the sites and sounds that accompany you.
ReplyDeleteTeacups to bells to doors, I love all these sounds, and the orange and red hues. And the slumber they lulled you into.
ReplyDeleteThere's something so soothing about trains. You've captured the serene feeling very well.
ReplyDeleteYou took me along with you. The tea looks good! I would be afraid i would sleep past my station.
ReplyDeleteI can picture myself in this train ride - being in one is, for me, the best time to get lost in my thoughts while outwardly looking at the passing scenery.
ReplyDeleteHave a great week, Grace. :-)
~Imelda