Photo credit to Noell Oszvald
My tears fall silently
as half-moon recedes by redwood
The lone owl hoots
As I gather tallowed threads
stitching days & nights to black & white
~0~0~
Rasping breath
against black phone, then
ominous silence
sharp as rooster's crow
on yellowed field of bones
~0~0~
Pewter sounds of rain-
drops pelting the roof tiles
I close your eyelids
gently as a petal fold
of last summer's blooming
Posted for D'verse Poets Pub - We are writing Jisei or Japanese Death poems in haiku or tanka style.
Thanks for the visit ~
Things coming to light in the black and white aren't always good
ReplyDeleteBeautiful. I love the first & the idea of stitching to black & white. Really seems like a lovely vision of death.
ReplyDeletePowerful lines. It flowed so well I read it again! Bravo.
ReplyDeleteLike Mary, your triple wakas all have different voices & perspectives. I dig the second one because it resonates with my own rough edges, but your third one reminds me of my closing haiku, with resignation & warmth. I like the lines:
ReplyDelete/ominous silence/sharp as rooster's crow/on yellowed field of bones/.
All of yours are superb, Grace. Enjoyed them immensely. The images brought through your words are stunning. "I close your eyelids gently as a petal fold"...such sweetness in this final, sad act.
ReplyDeleteThese are exquisite. The last made me weep thinking of my grandmother as my mother closed her eyelids when she died. Indeed, such sweetness and reverence in that. The images in all of these tanka are so vivid and well drawn. They are all of them truly beautiful.
ReplyDeleteI love the first part the best
ReplyDelete"as half-moon recedes by redwood"
Though three separate poems, I saw a progression in them. They reminded me of my sister's death -- they seem to come from the viewpoint not of the one dying but of someone who is watching them die and mourning the loss. Peace, Linda
ReplyDeleteAll three are exquisite, the way death is void of colors, that image of black and white really resonated with me. A wonderful way to look at death.
ReplyDeleteI love the first one, stunning! The part "stitching days & nights to black & white" is amazing.
ReplyDeleteOh.. the moment
ReplyDeleteof death.. separation
of light from dark..
appreciating
LiGht..:)
The third one starts out angry and ends with peace - quite a feat in so few syllables! But I really enjoyed the stitching together in black and white... mysterious and intriguing, but very vivid imagery.
ReplyDeleteSo atmospheric, Grace. My favorite has to be the third one.
ReplyDeleteSOOOOOOOO beautiful! Especially the last one. Wow!
ReplyDeleteI love them..'recedes with redwood', 'black phone', and 'rain on roof tiles'.
ReplyDeleteVery evocative images Grace, so nicely done!
ReplyDeleteLoved all three. Each evoking a different emotion. Gently as a petal fold - that is exquisitely beautiful.
ReplyDeleteQuite elegant and powerful.
ReplyDeleteVery elegantly written .. inspirational!
ReplyDeletein the leaden night
a single ray of light shines
as these eyes close
Bastet
"As I gather tallowed threads"
ReplyDeleteGorgeous!
If there is beauty in dying, you penned it...in black and white. The final verse is my favorite with the pelting of pewter rain and gentle petal fold of eyelids.
ReplyDeleteso many grey shades; a state of middle mean, where understanding ceases to exist
ReplyDeletethis is quite stark Grace; and thanks for the challenge of today's prompt
much love...
Black and white usage works well here, Grace. The last one touched my heart.
ReplyDeleteJust gorgeous Grace--
ReplyDeleteVery vivid, each with its different mood.
ReplyDeleteDelicate beauties, all three - the third is particularly poignant.
ReplyDeleteAlthough all three show the sorrow of death, I think my favourite is the third one...such a tender touch to that one. Beautiful!
ReplyDeleteThis is beautiful:
ReplyDelete"I close your eyelids
gently as a petal fold
of last summer's blooming"
Bloody beautiful (pardon my French)! :-) stitching days and nights into black and white? That was bloody marvellous (oops, pardon my French again).
ReplyDeleteGreetings from London.
Like the 'as half-moon recedes by redwood' - magical... " silence
ReplyDeletesharp as rooster's crow
on yellowed field of bones" -wow, what an image!
masterfully done, Grace.
I feel the second one.
ReplyDeleteI got a call today from someone telling me that a friend
had passed. There was plenty of silence.
Beautiful and melancholy. Loved the stitching metaphor as well as the line breaks, which also looks like stitching to me.
ReplyDeleteThe middle one was painful to read. Reminded me too much of my first husband's passing and me having to call his mom. Tough.
ReplyDeleteI close your eyelids... gently as a petal fold... I like that :)
ReplyDeleteHi Grace, a few fellow poets and I are compiling an anthology of Nature poems. Since you write so beautifully, often about nature, would you be interested in submitting a few Nature poems? If not, that is perfectly fine. Either way, can you pl reply on my blog?
ReplyDeleteAnd communicating the essence of the duty of the survivor very well in perfect pentameter. All three very very nice grace.
ReplyDelete