Salar de Uyuni, Bolivia by Tomas Rowski
I walk
Sea of salt flat
Emptiness pulls, gaping
Silence which thunders in my ears,
Sky ricochets my thoughts, unborn & free
When it rains, pristine as snowflakes,
The sky is a mirror
beckoning, so
I walk
until words untangle, drift like clouds, carelessly float as paper boats, then fold
unresisting into the page, sculptured stones
Posted for: Imaginary Garden with Real Toads - Hannah's challenge: Hungry & Haunted
and 55 words for the G-man ~ First part is a rictameter poem (9 lines).
I like your 55 Grace though what the sky ricochets back to me usually has a lot of hair on it and is ball shaped. And when it hits then the words, I know are stone and ready to plant.
ReplyDeleteYou form gives another layer of meaning to your words - the sense of mirror image and the drifting away both beautifully portrayed.
ReplyDeleteI nearly missed your last two lines, the first feeling so complete--until I read them and no longer could feel the poem without them. Boats/stones echo the landscape of sky/surface, invite poetry and strolls.
ReplyDeleteGrace this is seriously good. Love the way you've used this form, and the images here are really fresh.
ReplyDeleteSo beautifully expressed the loneliness of a heart:)
ReplyDeleteRecently walked on a quiet beach...getting a chance to really listen to my thoughts. And if I were to describe those thoughts and how they were handled, it would be like your beautiful words. Just like that.
ReplyDeleteThis is fabulous, Grace, with its two sections. I think I like the last two lines best, the words untangle and float unresisting onto the page. Sometimes, words do seem to resist us, and I love the idea of writing with ease and seeing the words floating down.
ReplyDeleteK
Grace...
ReplyDeleteYour return to the Friday Funfest is a joyous event indeed!
Lucky for me you did a word count eh?
Beautiful imagery, beautiful expression.
Loved your beckoning 55
Thanks for playing, don't be such a stranger.
Have a Kick Ass Week-End
like the form you used in this...the walking to walking...creative in the middle as well...the ricocheting sky...the silent thunder....wonder if you get more thirsty in the salt flats....smiles.
ReplyDelete'the sky is a mirror/beckoning...' -just one of many memorable lines in this. Lovely, Heaven--a soft breeze of words with all sorts of images in its fragrance.
ReplyDeleteas from a dream...
ReplyDeleteBrilliant. "Sculptured Stones" - Wow. I can pick out so many quotable phrases. Loved this. Keep it up.
ReplyDeletebeautiful Grace!
ReplyDeleteGrace, love your mirrored form on a mirrored image! Your reflection on "reflections" is mesmerizing, to say the least. The final two lines were perfect, as well, sort of broken off the main like asteroids, and with that power. Amy
ReplyDeleteLooking at that photo, i imagine I could walk forever in such surroundings.....
ReplyDeleteRictameter! I'll have to look that one up...I love the shape this took and the way that flat can be looked at in two different ways. This drawing feeling to go on in the end...very good. I enjoyed this, thank you for writing, Grace!!
ReplyDeleteEloquent, with such a peaceful flow.
ReplyDeleteThis is cool well done on the prompt.
ReplyDeleteThis poem gives me a feeling of peacefulness, Grace.
ReplyDeleteLovely writing.
ReplyDeletePeace
Siggi
The sky is a mirror beckoning, so I walk....love that line. Such a beautiful piece!
ReplyDeleteendless... that is what it seems to me.
ReplyDelete...and so I walk - has a soothing wisdom about it, a willingness to search. Nicely done.
Keep on a walking, but watch the gawking lol
ReplyDeleteIt sure seems like that walk, silence thundering, ricocheting sky... lovely write.
ReplyDeleteA lovely Zen sort of meditation.
ReplyDeletedelightful, and the illustration is lovely too!
ReplyDelete"Sky ricochets my thoughts, unborn & free". I love this. I also love the form!
ReplyDeleteI loved the smell of clean water that's cool, and the sieving of salt & dreams ~ gorgeous !
ReplyDelete