Thursday, November 5, 2015

Jambin' with autumn


Grace @ Everyday Amazing




wit-
her slowly

cast fiddlesticks to
sky as light bounces trip-

ping edges to fiery red musk
last in-

hale, ex-
hale

drunk-mellow after-
noon sugar-

sweet, this is (y)our last 
 i   
         s
             s





Posted for D'verse Poets Pub - Let's Get Jambin' with guest blogger De Jackson

20 comments:

  1. Kiss of sp
    Ring
    f
    ALL
    Summer
    Win
    Ter
    D
    ream..:)

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  2. Oh yes....I understand. We have had beautiful weather these past few days. I do think we are experiencing autumn's last kiss. Love the enjambment.

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  3. Soon we'll get the kiss of death, snow lol

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  4. OMG, I am DYING over that amazing "wit/her" at the beginning!!!

    I love this, so very much:
    "drunk-mellow after-
    noon sugar-"

    At the end, I see "this is your last sweet ki" followed by that "ss[s]." Apparently, Ki is a Sumerian earth goddess (the sister/"consort" of the sky god An). Anyway, you can look it up if you're interested.

    Oh, because you italicized that "i" in "kiss," I keep staring at it, trying to figure out why. Finally, I saw the diagonal "siss."

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    Replies
    1. Wow, your comments are something else, priceless ~ I am always charmed by what you can see that I didn't even see, smiles ~

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  5. Beautifully done!! Such tender playfulness here in your words :D :D

    Lots of love,
    Sanaa

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  6. This is an incredible rocking of the prompt; my fave so far out here on the trail, for it is rife with e(N)jam(b)ment, but more than that, it is a very strong poem & I loved it a lot.

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  7. "wit/her" is just a fantastic word break, Grace. LOVE.
    And those "ping edges." I hear them. And the breath and movement in "in/hale" and "ex/hale." and how that "ex" sets us up for (y)our last kiss. So great.

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    Replies
    1. Sometimes I am amazed by the comments and what you guys see in my poem ~ But I am a happy poet, smiles ~

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    2. That's the best part, doing something subliminal you didn't even know you were doing. ;) Or seeing something in someone else's work that nobody else did. Shawna finds amazing stuff in my words all the time...that I didn't even know were there. :)

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  8. This is wonderful ❦ Autumn's last kiss ... sublime!

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  9. Such a very strong, yet playful poem. A delight to read and to savor. Gorgeous work Grace.

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  10. thanks for the kind words, Grace ~

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  11. Oh I love the fall - what a perfect kiss... Wit/her - yes that's where I want to be.

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  12. death by sugar and kiss of the spider woman all evoked in your straddling lines - love this!

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  13. You really are a master of this device! Brava!

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  14. Wow!! Grace, I love the breaks and the placement of the last word. Excellent!

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  15. A different kind of enjambment to the poems I've been reasing for this prompt: more emotion and thought than wordplayfulness, but enough wit to make it fun.

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Thank you for your comments and visit. I appreciate them ~