Saturday, March 21, 2015

Rust on first day of spring

It was one wet spring
lilac wore me
bluer than I could recall, my knees

jelly-dewed.   Your words were butter
luring me as a bee 
to feast the white tulips. Invisibly  

we silk-spun to lovers
against my family's wishes.   A stone
flowered under my breastbone

and my hands jerked, twisted rubber.
Was it the drugs you were spooning 
me or your coppery lies?   Pruning 

back, I vomit the moon's supper 
burning my stomach & every breath. 
Too late, your poison, a riverbed 

steeped of your true colours covering  
my bones, tarnishing blood  
to iron, rusting my tongue, petrified wood.       



Petrified Wood by Margaret Bednar


Process Notes:  While waiting in the hospital last night, I saw and overheard the drama of this family. The night ended with the very thin daughter being treated for epileptic seizures which the parents blame on her drug addled boyfriend.   

Posted for Imaginary Garden for Real Toads ~ Stretching metaphors in a free versed constanza form ~ and Poets United - Thanks for the visit ~ 

39 comments:

  1. Good grief - what a harrowing experience, Grace. The dramas played out in the ER could rival Greek tragedies.
    Loved the lilac wore me bluer and the jelly dewed knees.

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    1. Stayed for 5 hours there waiting for my daughter - it was only stomach virus ~ Thanks Kathleen ~

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  2. Oh, the first day of spring should bring better than that, Grace. I am sorry you had to spend time in the hospital. I am a bit worried when I hear that. Hope it was no one in your family. Vomiting the moon's supper is vivid imagery. Whew....a strong poem today!

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    1. My daughter was actually vomiting but it was only a stomach virus, not as bad as the other ER cases ~ The wait was long & I saw a lot of family drama ~ Thanks Mary ~

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  3. What a strong image here.. there are something harrowing here.. and the processing note made me imagining things, hope you are well.. love how you end it with the petrified wood...

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    1. I am, thanks Bjorn ~ Saw a lot of harrowing images last night at the hospital ~

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  4. How you have captured this scenario - so powerful, the line "I vomit the moon's supper". How her parents must anguish in this situation for there is no saving her until she decides to save herself. So much pain in this world.

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    1. It was horrible watching her going to seizures ~ I hope she saves herself first ~ Thanks Sherry ~

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  5. My ocd would want to run far far away haha has to be hard for her parents indeed. Hope your daughter is feeling better

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  6. What a very sad story. I do hope there is a happier ending for this family. Hope your daughter is better--we had that bug here as well just last week.

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  7. Yeowch-- what a sad story but makes for vivid poem. Glad your daughter is better. Take care and thanks, k.

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  8. Oh goodness...so sad...the notes...I'm glad you added them though...explains the twist in the story...very vivid write, Grace...your imagery is gripping.

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  9. You have translated a most tragic story into a very stylish poem, Grace. I could feel the pain of an unknown substance taking hold in the flesh. Very well done.

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  10. you captured the essence of sweet tasting wine which resulted in heartburn
    later to be regirgitated with regret and disgust. well penned mi amiga

    you turned a disheartening condition into a poem.

    Grace-fully done, mi amiga

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  11. So she was seduced and now regrets her actions. It was a hard lesson learned but how wise she is now.

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  12. Still a blessed time to spend the first day of Spring, Grace, knowing your daughter is fine & smiling again. I feel sorry for the unfortunate stories you've heard & left to that hospital. May they finally find the right help to settle good. As always, your phrasing is adorable. Smiles.

    - ksm

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  13. pain and fear gripping the mind on the first day of spring is truly sad..."rusting my tongue, petrified wood." a perfect end to the poem...

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  14. It is strange how words can turn such grave moments into something beautiful...(in the right poetic hands)...the colours...the imagery and the insight are astounding... i hope you were ok too

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  15. i like how you use "flowers" to refer to the lady patient. i liked how well the contrast of the situation and the arrival of spring was played. hope everyone's fine, your daughter... and the family of the other daughter you have written the poem to.

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  16. Gorgeous words for a sombre subject - and they take us right inside her thoughts and feelings. Beautifully imagined and beautifully written.

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  17. Some gorgeous writing in this very uncomfortable series of images--you really did an excellent job of transposing common constructs into unique and focused symbols--I especially love 'lilac wore me,' the flowering stone, and vomiting the moon's supper. Good that you can turn a bad situation to universal account here, Grace.

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  18. Wow! Sometimes poems are so seamless that it is hard to imagine them as anything but born whole cloth. This is one such. And not your usual sensuality, but deadly--one with a scorpion's sting, a river flowing with true colors as the poison. She dies in childbirth, I imagine, though the child lives. I think that must have provided a glimpse of spring's awakening before the fall.

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  19. Very good writing Grace seems you have captured the moment descriptively in your poem.

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  20. Oh the crises and dramas in the ER. Glad to hear your daughter wasn't too sick....but oh your images are perfect, 'I vomit the moon's supper
    burning my stomach & every breath.'

    Donna@LivingFromHappiness

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  21. Oh Grace... this poem is so beautiful...it touched my soul!
    xoxo

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  22. Whew! Well written/experienced.
    ZQ

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  23. I hope your daughter is ok. It's amazing that you can compose such a passionate poem by observing a family. I like the strong acidity in some of your words. They convey the feelings so well.

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  24. Once again - wonderful word smithing. "butter" words . . . velvet!

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  25. wonderful imagery here, and all from the creative process of an eavesdropping experience, from an ER to boot. I'm impressed. love the tropes of lilac, white tulips, stone, rubber, copper, rust, poison, and petrified wood. very well done.

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  26. Well, I love your poem but the story that inspired it, not so much. Really gorgeous, though, your lines. I like the sparseness of the start and the relative wordiness of the last couple stanzas... it starts galloping.

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  27. You wrote this so well. I could see it and feel it.

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  28. a harrowing, terrifying experience that you draw us into with your words, Grace. amazing writing!

    i'm glad to hear your daughter wasn't seriously ill.

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  29. You pen drips with rust and poison. Very descriptive.
    Hope she is ok ;(

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  30. So much chaos in the microcosm of a hospital ward. Yet, it makes one wonder how much of it is a representation of the state of our world. Sorry you had to be there, and hope your daughter is feeling better.

    Poppy

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  31. Right from "lilac wore me" the imagery in this piece is utterly magnificent! Stunning the whole way through.

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  32. Sad story produced such deep poem....this is the world seen by poetic eye...glad your daughter feels better.. warm wishes to your family x

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  33. oh ! lilac has such a tendency to wear us all

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  34. This hit close to home, with family experiences in such things.

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  35. oh, my. that you can craft this witness is a testament to your skill, Grace ~

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