Sunday, March 1, 2015

torn from the white sky


                                                           




white-washed by night
i fall headlong, torn
from the sky

a solitary leaf,
muted white by snowflakes &
icy northern wind

weaving an intricate
dance of death, slow waltz--
parry and thrust--  

until arms become 
stones, white crystallized to stillness- 
the moon, perched 

on window seat,
ghosts under shadows, whiter than white-

you're too late

 
   
Poetry form:  Lune - 3-5-3 word (almost)

Posted for Imaginary Garden with Real Toads - 55 white words for Flash 55 Plus

And Poets United

42 comments:

  1. What an amazing opening stanza to capture the imagination. Your descriptions are so vividly drawn.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Such a sadness with a finality that can't be undone. Nicely written Grace.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Absolutely gorgeous description of the dance of death.

    ReplyDelete
  4. That last line is truly haunting..in all senses...how often timing is not quite right and good things become lost..too fragile to fend for themselves

    ReplyDelete
  5. Wow, I like the twist that the last line gives to the poem, Grace!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Such a dance sometimes can be final

    ReplyDelete
  7. Haunting, vivid and completely beautiful; a death dance that sings of promises of peace...

    ReplyDelete
  8. My goodness, I love that title. The piece as a whole is gorgeous, but there's something about the third stanza that draws me even more than the rest. Stunning writing, Grace. And that ominous ending. You're too late. Nothing more need be said.

    coca-cola girl
    bringforthacoke.wordpress.com

    ReplyDelete
  9. beautiful description in your lines

    ReplyDelete
  10. The winter breathes so heavily in those words. Somehow this deadly breath has a beauty that is a way to go to sleep. A gentle kiss of death.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Very beautiful! I love that line, moon perched on a window seat :-)

    ReplyDelete
  12. Until arms become stones, such depth and visions throughout. Lovely feel to this.

    ReplyDelete
  13. So sad and beautiful at the same time.
    I like your intro very much: "white-washed by night"

    Hugs to you!
    JetteMajken

    ReplyDelete
  14. Well this for mis new to me, but I am gonna try it!!!

    ReplyDelete
  15. you've made harshness of that inevitable stillness so charmingly beautiful...

    ReplyDelete
  16. White washed by grief, more like! Waiting is so hard, harshest over night with all the accompaniment of hope.

    ReplyDelete
  17. I too enjoyed the vivid descriptions of winter throughout and wow that last line!

    Donna@LivingFromHappiness

    ReplyDelete
  18. echoing, the first stanza is so compelling ~

    ReplyDelete
  19. amazing opening stanza.

    http://ihopsmithwalkingpath.blogspot.com/2015/03/haiku-and-poetry.html

    ReplyDelete
  20. Love the image of first stanza...and the dance 'until arms become
    stones' sounds so magical...unique pearl this poem. ~ Nice Sun-day for you, Grace :)

    ReplyDelete
  21. Sounds amazing and the pic is lovely:)

    ReplyDelete
  22. Very wintery description of nature's show.

    ReplyDelete
  23. brilliant opening verse! striking final line! great write, Grace.

    ReplyDelete
  24. "white washed by night"…. what a beautiful first line… the whole poem exquisite as always Grace.

    ReplyDelete
  25. The imagery in this poem is breathtaking, and the entire construct is amazing. Such an original point of view.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Hi, Grace ~~ I am glad that your leaf was white, nothing to ruin pure white's snow show more than one brown leaf !!!
    Nice use of the white mix for your plus too.
    ..

    ReplyDelete
  27. Oh the poor white leaf torn from the sky ~ but it will spring up again soon in vivid green. Smiles :)

    ReplyDelete
  28. Beautiful words - an exquisite piece of writing.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Great piece - it flows well, and has vivid images. I love the window seat - reminds me of courting my wife.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Almost like Icarus in the wrong season. White must be the colour that everyone is most conscious of in America at present. Or so I gather,

    ReplyDelete
  31. 'Whiter than white'---isn't that the ultimate colour of death? of frozen heaven? great textures here, Grace.

    - ksm

    ReplyDelete
  32. Beautiful opening...a unique perspective on death

    ReplyDelete
  33. Oh, those last three words are heart-breaking!!

    ReplyDelete
  34. Beautiful and graceful movement, albeit, towards immobility, and an inevitable end; the fate of every living thing.

    Poppy

    ReplyDelete
  35. must be winter. must be a relationship. either way, the coldness you have described here forever crystallized this reader. thanks for this kabayan

    ReplyDelete
  36. the last line is a crash; the falling and transforming i got so caught up with, the last line really shook me up

    have a nice week

    http://myblog-verses.blogspot.com/2015/03/29.html
    much love...

    ReplyDelete
  37. ouch...there is a pain in this...all the way from the white-washed....which has multiple meanings...and to just cover over...too late...that is another one that kinda cinches my gut

    ReplyDelete
  38. Covering over doesn't remove merely makes others ignore the problem. Well expressed idea.

    ReplyDelete
  39. One just cringe when knowing it comes as a finality! Good take Grace!

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
  40. The movement in this is mesmerizing and the closing words echo audibly. Well done, Grace.

    ReplyDelete
  41. Eek, this is soooo foreboding. We need spring, don't we?

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for your comments and visit. I appreciate them ~