Saturday, March 21, 2015

Rust on first day of spring

It was one wet spring
lilac wore me
bluer than I could recall, my knees

jelly-dewed.   Your words were butter
luring me as a bee 
to feast the white tulips. Invisibly  

we silk-spun to lovers
against my family's wishes.   A stone
flowered under my breastbone

and my hands jerked, twisted rubber.
Was it the drugs you were spooning 
me or your coppery lies?   Pruning 

back, I vomit the moon's supper 
burning my stomach & every breath. 
Too late, your poison, a riverbed 

steeped of your true colours covering  
my bones, tarnishing blood  
to iron, rusting my tongue, petrified wood.       



Petrified Wood by Margaret Bednar


Process Notes:  While waiting in the hospital last night, I saw and overheard the drama of this family. The night ended with the very thin daughter being treated for epileptic seizures which the parents blame on her drug addled boyfriend.   

Posted for Imaginary Garden for Real Toads ~ Stretching metaphors in a free versed constanza form ~ and Poets United - Thanks for the visit ~ 

40 comments:

  1. Good grief - what a harrowing experience, Grace. The dramas played out in the ER could rival Greek tragedies.
    Loved the lilac wore me bluer and the jelly dewed knees.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Stayed for 5 hours there waiting for my daughter - it was only stomach virus ~ Thanks Kathleen ~

      Delete
  2. Oh, the first day of spring should bring better than that, Grace. I am sorry you had to spend time in the hospital. I am a bit worried when I hear that. Hope it was no one in your family. Vomiting the moon's supper is vivid imagery. Whew....a strong poem today!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My daughter was actually vomiting but it was only a stomach virus, not as bad as the other ER cases ~ The wait was long & I saw a lot of family drama ~ Thanks Mary ~

      Delete
  3. What a strong image here.. there are something harrowing here.. and the processing note made me imagining things, hope you are well.. love how you end it with the petrified wood...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am, thanks Bjorn ~ Saw a lot of harrowing images last night at the hospital ~

      Delete
  4. How you have captured this scenario - so powerful, the line "I vomit the moon's supper". How her parents must anguish in this situation for there is no saving her until she decides to save herself. So much pain in this world.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It was horrible watching her going to seizures ~ I hope she saves herself first ~ Thanks Sherry ~

      Delete
  5. My ocd would want to run far far away haha has to be hard for her parents indeed. Hope your daughter is feeling better

    ReplyDelete
  6. What a very sad story. I do hope there is a happier ending for this family. Hope your daughter is better--we had that bug here as well just last week.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Yeowch-- what a sad story but makes for vivid poem. Glad your daughter is better. Take care and thanks, k.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Oh goodness...so sad...the notes...I'm glad you added them though...explains the twist in the story...very vivid write, Grace...your imagery is gripping.

    ReplyDelete
  9. You have translated a most tragic story into a very stylish poem, Grace. I could feel the pain of an unknown substance taking hold in the flesh. Very well done.

    ReplyDelete
  10. you captured the essence of sweet tasting wine which resulted in heartburn
    later to be regirgitated with regret and disgust. well penned mi amiga

    you turned a disheartening condition into a poem.

    Grace-fully done, mi amiga

    ReplyDelete
  11. So she was seduced and now regrets her actions. It was a hard lesson learned but how wise she is now.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Still a blessed time to spend the first day of Spring, Grace, knowing your daughter is fine & smiling again. I feel sorry for the unfortunate stories you've heard & left to that hospital. May they finally find the right help to settle good. As always, your phrasing is adorable. Smiles.

    - ksm

    ReplyDelete
  13. pain and fear gripping the mind on the first day of spring is truly sad..."rusting my tongue, petrified wood." a perfect end to the poem...

    ReplyDelete
  14. It is strange how words can turn such grave moments into something beautiful...(in the right poetic hands)...the colours...the imagery and the insight are astounding... i hope you were ok too

    ReplyDelete
  15. i like how you use "flowers" to refer to the lady patient. i liked how well the contrast of the situation and the arrival of spring was played. hope everyone's fine, your daughter... and the family of the other daughter you have written the poem to.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Gorgeous words for a sombre subject - and they take us right inside her thoughts and feelings. Beautifully imagined and beautifully written.

    ReplyDelete
  17. How sad and unfortunate that drug addiction can be so destructive ~ strong imagery here.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Some gorgeous writing in this very uncomfortable series of images--you really did an excellent job of transposing common constructs into unique and focused symbols--I especially love 'lilac wore me,' the flowering stone, and vomiting the moon's supper. Good that you can turn a bad situation to universal account here, Grace.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Wow! Sometimes poems are so seamless that it is hard to imagine them as anything but born whole cloth. This is one such. And not your usual sensuality, but deadly--one with a scorpion's sting, a river flowing with true colors as the poison. She dies in childbirth, I imagine, though the child lives. I think that must have provided a glimpse of spring's awakening before the fall.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Very good writing Grace seems you have captured the moment descriptively in your poem.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Oh the crises and dramas in the ER. Glad to hear your daughter wasn't too sick....but oh your images are perfect, 'I vomit the moon's supper
    burning my stomach & every breath.'

    Donna@LivingFromHappiness

    ReplyDelete
  22. Oh Grace... this poem is so beautiful...it touched my soul!
    xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  23. Whew! Well written/experienced.
    ZQ

    ReplyDelete
  24. I hope your daughter is ok. It's amazing that you can compose such a passionate poem by observing a family. I like the strong acidity in some of your words. They convey the feelings so well.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Once again - wonderful word smithing. "butter" words . . . velvet!

    ReplyDelete
  26. wonderful imagery here, and all from the creative process of an eavesdropping experience, from an ER to boot. I'm impressed. love the tropes of lilac, white tulips, stone, rubber, copper, rust, poison, and petrified wood. very well done.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Well, I love your poem but the story that inspired it, not so much. Really gorgeous, though, your lines. I like the sparseness of the start and the relative wordiness of the last couple stanzas... it starts galloping.

    ReplyDelete
  28. You wrote this so well. I could see it and feel it.

    ReplyDelete
  29. a harrowing, terrifying experience that you draw us into with your words, Grace. amazing writing!

    i'm glad to hear your daughter wasn't seriously ill.

    ReplyDelete
  30. You pen drips with rust and poison. Very descriptive.
    Hope she is ok ;(

    ReplyDelete
  31. So much chaos in the microcosm of a hospital ward. Yet, it makes one wonder how much of it is a representation of the state of our world. Sorry you had to be there, and hope your daughter is feeling better.

    Poppy

    ReplyDelete
  32. Right from "lilac wore me" the imagery in this piece is utterly magnificent! Stunning the whole way through.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Sad story produced such deep poem....this is the world seen by poetic eye...glad your daughter feels better.. warm wishes to your family x

    ReplyDelete
  34. oh ! lilac has such a tendency to wear us all

    ReplyDelete
  35. This hit close to home, with family experiences in such things.

    ReplyDelete
  36. oh, my. that you can craft this witness is a testament to your skill, Grace ~

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for your comments and visit. I appreciate them ~