Thursday, March 12, 2015

Early March morning



First Sunrise After Daylight Savings
Credit:   Michael Leek of BlogTO


A man with a dark coat waits by station exit, his eyes bright as child holding a red balloon.   His face, oiled by sun, is not stiff starched with indifference of everyday commute. The crowd stretches as elastic bands along train tracks.  I yawn, hearing the cars floating by on the expressway.  I smell coffee, stale bread and dried paint on someone's shoes.  The ads above me, blink in blurry lines. Somewhere, I plant a fist of seeds.


against blue washed sky
moon is a white bud blooming 
        in the melting snow 




Posted for D'verse Poets Pub - OpenLinkNight - A haibun for our new host, Bill Webb~ Thanks for the visit ~

43 comments:

  1. This is so lovely. You put me right on that platform, smelling the smells and, in my mind, somewhere else planting those seeds. Love it!

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  2. Indifference of everyday commute I'm sure most can relate to

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  3. Somehow when we are at a commute it takes skill to see all those thing.. love the smell of paint on someone's shoes.. I think a haibun is perfect to write those small observations that are specific and general at the same time.

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  4. planting fists of seeds... i love this.. and oh the daily commute takes its toll... good to see people that are not stiff starched but still seem to be alive

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  5. Mesmerizing, especially the first two lines, such vivid images.

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  6. What an amazing description, indeed sky is moon's playground.

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  7. Love the fresh feeling of this poem/prose~ Adorable image of moon as bud

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  8. Oooh...I love the haiku at the end of this...opens up such a newness, a fresh start of hope or anticipation of promise.

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  9. Love me a Haibun; prose emerges golden, poetic, profound, wrapped in a haiku, like paper around a sticky fritter; wonderful, & it pulls our attention & rivets our focus, & after the feast of prose we savor the entree of haiku.

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  10. Love the traffic floating...exactly! I never thought of it that way but yes! An excellent haibun. In spite of the routine, still alive, still aware, planting seeds and in the snow, a bloom. Lovely, hopeful, insightful. Hayes Spencer is Kanzensakura

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  11. It takes real discipline to notice all the details that you have included in this haibun, Grace; it's something I need to develop.

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  12. You have really described this scene well, Grace...included so many details that make the scene vivid and rich.

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  13. Delicious atmospheric writing.
    "Somewhere, I plant a fist of seeds." - lovely.
    Anna :o]

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  14. I like the combination of prose and a beautiful small poem for the end. >KB

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  15. A rocky terrain.. a city is.. for sprouting young seeds through cement way...
    A lovely day for sweaty tear drops.. of living soil.. that rarely grows.. alive and green..

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  16. It is amazing how much life is present when we observe even a very small piece of our world. Excellent visuals from this. I especially love the haiku. :)

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  17. Really amazing Grace like I was reading a book.and I would love read the next scene!!
    xo

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  18. Very visual, fabulous imagery... love the planting of the seeds and the moon as white bud...

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  19. Amazing! and so full of life.

    Beautiful! :)

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  20. Noice juxtapostions here, Grace - telling work... With Best Wishes

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  21. Nice - the two parts gel together..I have always thought of trying, but never been able to pen one.

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  22. beautiful... what w wonderful moment

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  23. The moon on the last bit of snow can be a softer, more embracing sunlight.

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  24. A brilliant picture not easily seen painted here Grace!

    Hank

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  25. You've caught exactly that disjointed feeling of dislocation when the clocks change. It takes a while to get back to normal.

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  27. Wonderful capture of the time spent before (and after) work when we allow our sensory perceptions to override the stress of productive thought. Lovely haiku.

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  28. Such a beautifully visceral poem - loved the description of the man and the elastic crowd, the sights and smells - and the final haiku - lovely in its simplicity

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  29. I think we "plant fists of seed" with poetry...enjoyed this :)

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  30. Lovely imagery, Grace :)
    Early March mornings are promising :)

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  31. Like the moon as a blossoming bud. Great descriptions in the prose section.

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  32. I love the transition from the prose into the haiku:
    "Somewhere, I plant a fist of seeds.
    against blue washed sky"

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  33. Claudia,
    One of my daughters make it a point to see the fading moon at dawn whenever she can…

    What a lovely haibun - my favorite form.

    I was rather pleasantly surprised to see it here, woven so preciously.

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  34. No wonder I am surprised! It is Grace's blog. This is what happens when you try to blog with a headache…

    Hi Grace! Whatever I said above still applies :-)

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  35. love the bud in the melting snow

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  36. Sometimes, commutes can be really so annoying & stressing, but most of the times it's like this & almost always interesting & entertaining. Lovely capture, Grace! smiles.

    - ksm

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  37. A wonderful halibun . . . beautifully drawn - the vivid contrasts, impassioned and moving!

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  38. I almost wish i slept long enough to miss that hour, but alas...

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