The snowstorm poured like daggers
Outside my window, a silver chandelier
Dripping dry ice, flawless as paragon
Above ebony trees, the moon hides
its fat cheeks, its slice of beauty
How the wind rides a black pillar every night
Wrapping dead things in resin & layers of glass
I wait, not for the thaw of snow
But for the shattering that will come
Slow motion of loop, arc of force
After my long guilty confession
My fingerprints staining of grease,
I am caught inside this urn, honed by fever,
Encased in this nebula of darkness
Light, he stops me, shimmers between cracks
The scars you carry never occurred
but in your heart
Posted for D'verse Poets Pub - Not a sonnet but one with a volta ~Hosted by Bjorn Rudberg and Poets United Midweek Motif- Glass, Hosted by Susan
intriguing...nice use of language like urn...the dead things....and even the shattering you wait upon....i like the light that stream in there in the end as well...that sees beyond the cracks we see to share truth with us...
ReplyDeleteI like how you turn the meaning with that release in those last three lines.. somehow the light that comes through will give that release.. wonderful poetry Grace..
ReplyDeletethe shattering there in the close to me sounds like freedom after a time of being caught in guilt... very nicely done grace
ReplyDeleteO, wonder! This is my new favorite of yours from photeo through every word--not all of which I unerstand. But I can see it: the snow, daggers, flawless paragon chandelier, moon's cheeks,slice of light and black pillar of dark, the arc of force of shattering of the glass cell, etc, etc, etc. Let the light in! Pow!
ReplyDeleteLove the images of first stanza very much, great energy here! and, yes, one will be tired after such a snowstorm, and then how nice feels the light, helping heal those cracks....Love the art!
ReplyDeleteThere's a certain kind of freedom and healing that can be found in the light. Of course we must learn to accept the darkness first. I loved reading this. I love the imagery that filled my mind!
ReplyDeleteYellin is one of my favorite artists!! I think your poem holds a lot of elements just like the photo... I love the silver chandelier of ice outside your window... ace write
ReplyDeleteLike the snow, your poem is deep and cold - full of metaphor turning from the whiteness to the dark shadows in the volta at the end. Well said, Grace.
ReplyDeleteAs if a sea of regret lingers ever so lightly, while the depth of your images for me, express so much hope in your closing lines.
ReplyDeleteI really, really enjoyed the voice in this. My favorite parts are the second stanza, title and image pairing. Splendid piece.
ReplyDeleteGreat building of a heavy atmosphere and the shattering ending comes as a relief.
ReplyDeleteLove those last three lines. I have a friend who has been caught in that trap, and I truly wish I could spring her free, but only she has the key. Sad and inspiring at once.
ReplyDeleteBe nice if the snow shattered all at once and vanished haha
ReplyDeleteI enjoy the personification of the moon especially. Excellent poem!
ReplyDeleteI really like the image of a silver chandelier dripping dry ice. A snowstorm does have that mist like dry ice. Clever wording. Lovely poem.
ReplyDeleteI think somehow this must be inspired by the weather we are having. There is a lot to wonder about in this poem. I am wondering about the long, guilty confession. There could be a sequel.....smiles.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful. The words invite an intriguing, mysterious feel to this. I like the end, very dramatic and powerful.
ReplyDeleteyou caught my attention immediately with your opening line: "the snowstorm poured like daggers". A lovely simile!
ReplyDeleteOK I had to click the link to learn the meaning of the word Volta. I believe I see what you have written here Grace, that all you perceived as being troublesome that was outside you, beyond your control, was really within you, in your own heart.
ReplyDeleteBut on the other hand it is cold, damned cold! -20(f) in DeeTwaa
Yes Mark you got it ~ Its -30 C last night and we are freezing the whole weekend :-(
Deletenature and the heart so linked together... you've showed us that... and those fat cheeks... sweet... wind chill factor here last night -30 F...I think everything will shatter soon
ReplyDeleteYou create atmosphere so well! It's a lovely turn in meaning. And I'm glad someone else besides me went beyond 14 lines. :)
ReplyDeleteLight, that counters the foreboding evident earlier now excelled for the volta twist! Wonderful take Grace!
ReplyDeleteHank
confined darkness and the crack of shimmering light create an enchanting contrast...there's a sense of release here after all that storm...amazing Grace...
ReplyDeleteA cold night, I get that.
ReplyDeleteBut I was left with many questions
I guess you are likening ice to "resin"?
I could see how your fingers are stained with grease or your fingerprints being stains of grease.
Why would an urn be "honed"?
And what are you confessing that is so long?
Who is "he"?
Overall, I was puzzled but the language was promisingly fun.
Thanks for your comment Sabio ~ But my writing is never final but needs further editing ~ Sometimes I put things together to see how it flows and then edit it later on ~
DeleteOh, Grace, as do I. Thus, I feel free to give my impressions thinking just that -- we are all remaking ourselves as we see ourselves in others. I always hope truthfully sharing this one person's reception of a poem, is useful to the author -- more than just sweet words which fear offending.
DeleteOn my blog, for instance, I go back (even years later) and re-write posts -- taking in consideration the comments and my new thoughts and my new writing insights. I embrace change and flux.
Thanx for the thanx.
No worries ~ I am open to comments and appreciate your thoughtful visits ~
DeleteI did not see that turn coming - "I am caught inside this urn"
ReplyDeleteBeautifully captured how the snow and cold can make us feel. And the line "The scars you carry never occurred
but in your heart"
is so true and beautiful with a sad touch. Love this poem, Grace!
A fantastic write, Grace. Glad I didnt miss it, I am behind.......love the moon with her fat cheeks, and the three lines in closing are so powerful!
ReplyDeleteI really loved this, Grace. Quite beautiful and leaves me with many different interpretations of its meaning...
ReplyDeleteOoooh, this reads like a fever dream. I love it. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteYou give stunning, chilling visuals with the turn providing a shimmering release as the light penetrates the cracks. It almost sounds like you're describing how my depression feels... but then again... speaking as a narcissist, aren't all poems about me?
ReplyDeleteI always leave fascinated and slightly envious of your work. You're really good. :)
Thank you Barry ~ I am in turn, envious of your work too :-)
DeleteThe shattering that will come - This poem is full of emotion, and wonderful images, i especially love that line of anticipation of what is to come.
ReplyDeletewaiting not for the thaw but the shattering - love this thought - even the moon has sharp edges - beautiful, Grace
ReplyDeletestunning first line, carved through to the end ~
ReplyDeletegripping each line each concept ...thoughtful...excellent work...
ReplyDelete