you.... get roller coaster nightmares
(&) mutiny of blues & fire storm
-perfect for star-gazing-
for this gnarled gardener's hands
you...... forget - life is now - leaps into
empyrean of sunlight on fading grass
with the eyes of a child -
i inhale.... sweetness of soap & sunshine
of solitude
Sunday is <lost> in books & clouds, forgetting time & Monday
i sink.... into blur lake bottom
you and i mirror yesterday>>>> in a swoop
Posted for dVerse Poets Pub - MTB - In my end is my beginning, hosted by Laura Bloomsbury. I have taken the endings of my poems for the last months, and rewritten them into a new poem.
I love how you went from that roller-coaster to being lost in books & clouds
ReplyDeleteThis is absolutely stunning, Grace! I especially love; "with the eyes of a child - i inhale.... sweetness of soap & sunshine." 😍😍
ReplyDeleteit works so well Grace - especially the way that centre
ReplyDelete"leaps into
empyrean of sunlight on fading grass
with the eyes of a child -"
"i sink.... into blur lake bottom"
ReplyDeleteI love that.
Wow! Love it!
ReplyDeleteI LOVE how the lines fit together after "leaps"!
ReplyDeleteI'm in strong agreement w/ Shawna on the lake bottom image
ReplyDeleteThere's a back and forth of 'you' and 'I' which gives it cohesion. The images are all separate, but they fit into a whole.
ReplyDeleteI am so impressed with how you made a perfect poem from those twelve lines, Grace!
ReplyDelete- life is now - leaps into empyrean of sunlight on fading grass with the eyes of a child - loved it Grace. 🙂✌🏼🕊❣️
ReplyDeleteNicely done, Grace. Sounds like Monday's are blue for you!
ReplyDeleteI could definitely read your endings for an infinity! Mesmerized! 👏👏
ReplyDeleteThis poem seriously does swoop us along with its undulating flow... it is exciting! How fun.
ReplyDeleteI like the way this rolls and flows, like the water. Lovely images connected by "the speaker's" you and I.
ReplyDeleteGrace, this has beautiful back and forth and the lines flow into each other with nary a bump. Lovely.
ReplyDeleteGreat spiraling rhythm. Like a dance.
ReplyDeleteFeels so feather light and weightless. It was also nice to recognize some of your beautiful lines, Grace.
ReplyDeleteI like the perspective of looking back on special Sunday from mundane Monday :)
ReplyDeleteLove how this flows :)
ReplyDeleteI'm in thrall to how these lines track time, starting points of sun and stars, from outdoor garden to indoor soap, and Sunday's books. Love the "swoop" of the last line, and this mid-point of the underpinning it all: "empyrean of sunlight on fading grass"!
ReplyDeleteThis is wonderful to read Grace.
ReplyDelete
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