Saturday, October 12, 2013

call the night






the night comes faster
    faster than my blinking eyes
eyes that hold secrets
    secrets black as crows,  cry

cry to be broken free
    free as sky hued in grey 
grey bristles with energy, spark
    spark the bare lonely tree & i sway

sway where the wind calls
   calls forth my words
words: crimson birthing, raw 
   raw as full moon rising, fleeing like birds 



Posted for Imaginary Garden for Real Toads -  Loop Poetry - where I am hosting, smiles ~
The form calls for repeating the last word of the first line & using it as the first word for the second line & so forth ~ Rhyming is optional, though I have used abcb rhyming scheme.
Shared with Poets United

53 comments:

  1. Love the sense of movement this poem invokes, especially love secrets black as crows.

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  2. that was so well done Grace ...I enjoyed this challenge even though it was a struggle for me...

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    1. Thanks Robert ~ Hope it was fun though, smiles ~

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  3. Liked the raw raw as a full moon rising, gives quite the image

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  4. "secrets as black as crows..." is the line I shall remember. This was beautiful.

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  5. ha. i like the looping....the end and beginning links...i like how you looped in constructs as well with the birds and that last line is killer too....

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    1. Quite a tricky challenge actually ~ Thanks Brian ~

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  6. Love the words used in this form, beautiful Grace.

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  7. Very nice. Love how the repeating words hurl us into the next stanza. :)

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  8. Oh, yours is so mysterious and enchanting ... secrets and breaking free, like fleeing birds. You also looped words from stanza to stanza, not just from line to line like in your example. So it flows with a lovely rhythm. Thanks for the challenge, Grace, enjoyed it :)

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    1. Thank you Loredana ~ It was fun to do ~

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  9. I chance not to analyze for I know little of the style, the form, the meter, the loops, etc. I do know it was pleasurable to read and even more enjoyable when I read it aloud

    Gracias for this today, mi amiga

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  10. Oh I really love this form Grace. You nailed it.

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  11. Wonderful form, Grace. I would have liked to have tried this form, but time got away from me. Sigh. I like each stanza as well as the total package....expressing a bit about secrets, loneliness, & freedom,

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  12. Hi, Thanks. I got to learn a new form of poetry:)

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  13. Interesting rhymes. Enchanting write... secrets black as crows... :-)
    -HA

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  14. You have used this form beautifully Grace! I like the idea of secrets crying to broken free.

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  15. a bit of whimsy here, i think - & the poem reads like autumn's darker (but no less beautiful) side... just lovely, Grace

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  16. love this line: "spark the bare lonely tree & i sway." hard challenge!

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  17. as kim says above, magical indeed!

    love your header too.

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  18. "secrets as black as crows"
    love this Grace! I love this form~
    Thank you...
    yours is filled with the conjuring allure of the season~

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  19. Hi Grace, richly written and evocative work, filled with yearning - this resonated with me - Thank you... Scott www.scotthastie.com

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  20. Beautiful Grace, I love this form too.

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  21. Love this Grace.. have to do Loop poetry for Tuesday.. *smiles*

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    1. Looking forward to it Bjorn ~ Smiles ~

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  22. The images are each exquisite and I love the motion you bring, too, Grace especially the swaying of the trees and the poet.

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  23. Very beautiful looping - I love the "secrets black as crows" best.

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  24. ...this is beautiful & mesmerizing Grace... i like it when a poem creates an effect that allows me to be carried away, swaying like a falling leaf as i go through each lines & that is exactly what you did here... i enjoyed it... smiles...

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  25. "faster than my blinking eyes cry"...your images are so vivid, Grace.
    K

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  26. Love how this "loops" back to the beginning imagery of birds. Really enjoyed this!

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  27. Just beautiful, powerful, 'secrets, black as crows' ...

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  28. This is a wonderful combination of dark imagery and the art of writing. I especially like the way you ended the poem.

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  29. powerful and rhythmic. happy week, Grace.

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  30. L' homme est un oiseau de passage
    En état de "Grâce" dans l'étincelle
    Lové sous cette soie blanche

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  31. The word play was magical....like a ride on a sloppy hill... Thanks for it

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  32. Love this Grace - I pictured the wind as she stood fighting against the elements on the outside and within her - Wonderful.

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  33. words - birthing and raw... A beautiful wind-swept ride of a poem! Nice.

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  34. The words have a weight to them and rhythm that I really enjoyed.

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  35. This works so well, Grace--the echoes like that wind sweeping through. K. ( manicddaily)

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  36. beautiful....image/words/form.
    thank you

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