Tuesday, February 27, 2018

Postscript to our afternoon





the cooked peanuts with garlic crunches on your palm
while i spoon slowly the melting ice cream on my cup

silence flows and ebbs to the beat of ticking 
clock & waiter's eager scrubbing of wine glasses

outside the cafe, cars and the pedestrians tangle in
mess of miscues & missteps

the afternoon sun is mellow yellow, sinking 
behind the fan of leaves, crisp as neat bow tie

i flip away my lethargic mop of hair
and put my spoon down, drawing on long 

deep breath, knowing what to say
now, right now



Posted for dVerse Poets Pub - Hosted by guest bartender Sarah Russell.  Theme of Poetics is Finding Emotions and Concepts in Things.  Please join us when the pub doors open at 3pm EST.

26 comments:

  1. I love you. :)

    You know, this really makes me miss Claudia and Brian. You three were kind of a pack of poetic magic and talent. I hate that they're on sabbatical, but I love that you're still writing ... as brilliant as always, Grace.

    I think the opening couplet is my favorite, followed by "mellow yellow" and "mop of hair."

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    1. Thank you. Missing your talent as well. Please don't disappear so quickly, smiles!

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    2. I miss Brian and Claudia too... but glad to still see you, Grace!

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  2. This is a wonderful piece... the moment of that right before the words are out.. a place filled with tension... and maybe I also feel what will be said is already understood.

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  3. Though I read it several times, I'm not sure?...but so be it, with poetry, it probably isn't important that the reader get it? Still I liked it, peanuts and garlic, melting ice cream, silence, wine glasses, mellow yellow, bow tie, hair, spoon and breath...I know it's there somewhere right in front of me, I think I must not be connecting the dots, or just overlooking something.

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  4. A relationship at its tired end in crunched peanuts, missteps and miscues and mops of hair.

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  5. I get the deep breath before making a momentous decision. What the decision is maybe doesn't matter.

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  6. To make love, to call it quits? This poem raises a lot of questions. The last two lines are mystical.

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  7. I like the idea that you're 'beating about the bush' with the food...biding your time before the verbal bomb.

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  8. I liked the sun sinking beneath a "fan" of leaves.

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  9. That deep breath is the surest doorway to the now. Stunning writing Grace.

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  10. This is my favourite kind of poem, tons of little things making a poignant moment 😊

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  11. Finding those words and readying them to come on out.

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  12. You have captured this moment deliciously, Grace, and I can feel tension leading up to the final line is almost tangible. I love the juxtaposition of the cooked peanuts with garlic crunching and the slow spooning of the melting ice cream, and the way you freeze the moment in the lines:
    'silence flows and ebbs to the beat of ticking
    clock & waiter's eager scrubbing of wine glasses'.
    That long deep breath says it all.

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  13. Just elegant, Grace. I read it twice, savoring. That moment before, knowing it will change everything. I love the ambiguity and the understated tension.

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  14. This is masterly stitched together. Small pieces to make perfection

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  15. I love the scene you set and the bit of awkward (loaded?) silence before one finds the right words and timing.

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  16. You set the scene well, and your need to find just the right moment to speak your truth. Well said!

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  17. The slow motion feel of it, lends to a sense of tension. The peanuts crushed and ice cream ladled out. The crowds outside moving at a leisurely pace. Like we were waiting either for a dramatic display or some kind of action.

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  18. For me... it is that thing that maybe your head says but never comes out of your mouth because the truth of it is that you have been together side by side so long it doesn't matter in the bigger picture.

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  19. My goodness this is incredibly vivid and full of breathtaking imagery, Grace!💖 That deep sigh before making a decision says so much.


    PS: My blog is working now.. had to pay wordpress monthly bill.. sigh… 💖

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  20. Taking action, the samurai says you step outside yourself and observe the swinging blade. Such focus allays fear. The iteration here is so precise that the final line reads like a rising curtain. Or perhaps a falling one ..

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  21. I read that by slowing down and savoring the one moment, you are showing and teaching how to be truly alive. Masterful, both the technique and the writing.

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  22. Careful contemplation... the casual observance while the mind ponders... Wonderfully captured!

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  23. An intriguing capture - wonderfully drawn.

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Thank you for your comments and visit. I appreciate them ~