Monday, February 26, 2018

Muted colors




the undertow of the water
heaves, curling my chest in brine

nerves of pain slices through me
as if escaping a firestorm

outside, the sun stumbles behind
muted clouds, scribbling jagged lines

my forehead
burning in sweat

a soliloquoy of uncertainty disturbs 
thin air




Posted for dVerse Poets Pub - Quadrille, a post of 44 words.  The selected word is Burn.  Thanks for hosting Victoria Slotto.   Please join us when the pub doors open at 3pm EST.

28 comments:

  1. The sun stumbling on muted clouds is such a perfect way to describe a day like that.

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  2. These lines really grabbed my attention:
    "outside, the sun stumbles behind
    muted clouds, scribbling jagged lines"
    and the poem, as a whole, grabs the emotion of all that you may be feeling at the moment. Such and evocative use of nature.

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  3. "outside, the sun stumbles behind
    muted clouds" so evocative of a certain kind of day. The last two lines burn...

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  4. You've really captured the moment in this Quadrille, Grace. I could feel the undertow of the water and the nerves of pain. My favourite lines are:
    '...the sun stumbles behind
    muted clouds, scribbling jagged lines'.

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  5. There's so much tension in every stanza and the effect at the close of the poem is so much unease and suspense. It makes me think of what some people have to live through daily, in war-torn and/or occupied countries. Great poem.

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  6. I'm fascinated with the title "muted colors" in relationship to the poem itself. The undertow, the brine, the slices of pain, stumbling sun, muted clouds, scribbling, sweaty forehead...and the thin air of uncertainty....no brightness here. The words themselves become the undertow for me....to an uncomfortable and frightening place of aloneness. Oh my....my thoughts just run with this piece!

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  7. This distressed image is so vivid. Even the sun stumbles! Good one😊

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  8. Oh how I have missed your eloquent and profound pen. Such depth here Grace. Welcome back x

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  9. This is so understated- my favourite bit is this- a soliloquoy of uncertainty disturbs
    thin air........ XXXX

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  10. the sun stumbles behind
    muted clouds, scribbling jagged lines

    love this image. It made me think of the visual effect of migraines, very disturbing.

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  11. I can imagine how a "soliloquoy of uncertainty" can feel like escaping a firestorm.

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  12. Sure sounds like a storm has come

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  13. evocative images, that establish that "soliloquoy of uncertainty" in us! Wonderful write, Grace!

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  14. A fevered tumult of pain and isolation. Great imagery!

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  15. Everyone has hit on the great lines. I like the formatting of your quadrille... in waves. (At least that's how I saw it.)

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  16. The sililoqy of uncertainty adds an air of mystery and an ominous flare to the last verse

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  17. Water Beauty Ocean Depth
    Lake Still Clouds Low
    Burns
    Pain
    Numb Escape
    Too Afraid
    WiLL NoW
    ALLowS LiVinG MoRE
    LoVinG DisTaNT CoMES AGAiNoW..:)

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  18. Felt my breath change as I read your poem.

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  19. "Curling my chest in brine"! I just told someone that I was going to die of jealousy that I didn't write that line. I won't though, because then what would I do when I hit "soliloquies of uncertainty"? I'll just be glad that you wrote the lines and I got the chance to read them.

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  20. that soliloquy of uncertainty -- beautiful !

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  21. 'a soliloquy of uncertainty disturbs thin air'.. this is so potent!

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  22. The sense of isolation, pain, tension--and I love this line: "outside, the sun stumbles behind
    muted clouds, scribbling jagged lines"

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  23. "curling my chest in brine" -- really nice!

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  24. "curling my chest in brine" is fantastic.

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  25. That third stanza knocked me out! Your use of language and imagery in this is incredible.

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  26. This articulates the emotional 'firestorm' that uncertainty rains down upon our psyche as we endeavor to make our way through.

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