Monday, June 27, 2016

Pinwheel of summer wishes



Photo credit:   here



Southern wind, cotton fluffs, saffron-stained sky
Dab our tongues with rain, sweet as sugar buns
Our skin is dry, steeped with orange dust
Southern wind, cotton fluffs, saffron-stained sky
Color these eyes without rose thorns by sun
Come, cool our brows, rivers by dusk




Posted for D'verse Poets Pub - Quadrille, a 44 word post with the word ROSE.   Thanks for the visit.

36 comments:

  1. I like how your title ties in with the body of your poem. Wonderful images--and lovely accompanying photo as well.

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  2. I do like the sense of rain that permeates your word, it's like a strong wish for something more.

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  3. Beautiful! LOVING the saffron-stained sky -- and in the hot Boston sun today, cooling my brow sounds delicious! :)

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  4. I love the form you have chosen for your quadrille - the repetition suits the feeling of your quadrille.

    ViV

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  5. rain, sweet as sugar buns...I just so like this. When it is hot, the rain when it comes does taste sweet on the tongue. The repetition in this is quite unexpected in one of our quadrilles. I really like it.

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  6. No thorns to get in the way would sure allow one a brighter day

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  7. I could taste the sweet rain... a lovely piece.

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  8. There is so much great imagery here - to list all the instances is to rewrite the poem. Loved.

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  9. This is very vivid and beautiful writing, Grace.

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  10. There is a simple sweetness to this piece, Grace. I like the repetition and the description of the sky and clouds.

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  11. I like how you brought the rose into a lovely summer scenario. The repetition of the first line works so well. And I would pray this line: Dab our tongues with rain

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  12. What a landscape that first line paints!

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  13. This captures the feeling I had as a kid working out on the farm in that, "saffron-stained sky and rose thorns by sun," as we manually put a splash of water on each tobacco plant because there hadn't been enough rain. Very nice!

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  14. I love the saffron-stained sky. Lovely imagery here!

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  15. The repeated line works beautifully.

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  16. Lilting phrases, muse-ical rhymes make this a lovely pinwheel, Grace.

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  17. This feels like yesterday's skies a bit north of here, as my son described to me on the phone...not as eloquently as you have in your quadrille.

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  18. Your poem is dreamy, and its rhythm is melodic. :-)

    ~Imelda

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  19. Lovely rhythm and pace, Grace! I love the southern wind, cotton fluffs, saffron-stained sky... :)

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  20. Quite rich in your 44 words of running imagery of a day Grace. A HOT day, I wish I could say that misery loves company but our weather seems to hit you a day later--hopefully you have had more tongue out for rain than we've had though. Come the dusk, yes ma'am, come the dusk.

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  21. This is a beautiful call for rain. Thankful that this year we seem to be getting enough precipitation, but I know what it's like when the sky is filled with dust (or smoke)

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  22. A powerful vignette, Grace! Beautiful!

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  23. You had me at "Southern wind." I love summer and you've captured it well.

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  24. You had me at "Southern wind." I love summer and you've captured it well.

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  25. You KNOW I adore this:
    "saffron-stained sky"

    Sigh.

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  26. Your words so descriptive I can feel the day.

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  27. I love the idea of a pinwheel of summer wishes, Grace! Your quadrille is structured like a dandelion waiting to be blown. It has a wonderful gentleness that makes me feel nostalgic.

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  28. There seems to be a thirst in your words. You have a unique style which makes reading your poems intriguing.

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  29. Lovely! ...dab our tongues with rain...yes! We need rain here. It would be so nice to taste it!

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  30. I can almost feel that southern heat…and the relief of that southern breeze at dusk.

    =)

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  31. Love every line, the meter and rhyme, and the imagery. Wonderful.

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