steps to my arrival (here)

 

Cut the twining cord quickly

with a sharp scissors

Use the cord clamp to stem 

the bleeding

It will not hurt (for now)

The scars will fold under my navel

As will my native tongue

sink to the bottom of my belly of fears

Learn the language of 

weather politeness of 4 seasons

Handle the etiquette

of fork & knife with ease

Still the waving hands as intuition

& glaze the summer skin to winter ice

Walk the balancing act

between following & not following

between listening & not listening

To myself & this pathway that I have

chosen, from brave idea to blistering reality

of starting over in a new country

a 360 degree turn

from one journey to another

Jump as if there is no bridge

to return to, 

Even if each detour, is a dead-

weight of self-blame 

Even if every mistake is a sword to

the carefully constructed excel timeline-

In the rearview,  

Plow along as elegant swans, with no outside 

signs of breaking point

What kept me sane, gentle as raindrops?  

 

Writing poems

A balm & thread to my turmoil

Strewn away as spinning dandelion fluffs

on a windy summer day, scattering

verses lead to stanzas, rhymed 

& unrhymed, each poem 

a journey to

Forgive & find myself

after patching & stitching faded lilac

blooms & falling autumn leaves to my sleeves-

I am (wholly) grateful

For marking 20 years in this land, we now call home

Posted for dVerse Poets Pub: Poetics:  Building from the Broken hosted by Mish.  Celebrating this day as our first day in Ontario, Canada with my family.  What a journey it has been! 

the map that changed me

I wear a coat of red
inhaling icy air of winter 
from Blue mountains to Lake Ontario
at 2 C, my skin is tough as maple tree

As I stand on top of Centennial park hill
a black hawk swirls above wind-tossed sky
my eyes scan sunlit cityscape   
from Mississauga condo buildings & houses
to the CN Tower at the distant Toronto City

This land is not a stranger
Not anymore, from falling autumn leaves to
maple syrup, to toque & snow pants, trees in
Riverwood Conservation and Halton Hills parks

Though Downtown Toronto is familiar work map
I love hiking along Credit River & Etobicoke Creek
rejoicing with orange breasted cardinals,
red winged blackbirds, swans and geese 
clawing and feasting on rain-soaked soil 

Over 14 seasons, I flowed 
into nature's cycle, a single raindrop 
into the mighty Niagara Falls, encompassing 
all our small beginnings into 1 mighty roar - home

Centennial Park, March 25, 2019

Posted for dVerse Poets Pub - Geography, Poetics,hosted by Anmol.  Please join us when the pub doors open at 3pm EST.

What happened after midnight & before I turned right

Grace @ Everyday Amazing

i stop at the intersection- 
a man with red luggage crosses the street, asking for directions, coal eyes perplexed-

a mirror looks back at me: 8 years ago 
we landed after midnight in the airport, 10 boxes, 2 luggages each,  tired & over-

whelmed by 10 lane freeway, lights crisscrossing, where to begin- 
& learn to stitch knot x knot, string x string & tie the loose endings –

my eldest reminds me of this day & counts down minutes from his sleek phone,
he is dapper in suit, young & ambitious, a far cry from the teen, clinging stubbornly  

to his childhood home, reluctantly packing his stuff in frenzied pace at last hours -
but my finger is now looking for a name in the pamphlet-    

I tap- here it is:  my youngest is graduating from Grade 8 - 
she is wearing a lovely shade of green dress & tall (in cream 3-inch shoes)-

after two facials, fake nails, hair & make-up by professional salon,
i (we) hardly recognize the 6 year old who excitedly pointed to 

the squirrels & playground outside our apartment on 1^st day in Canada,
eager to embrace our new life, curiously searching for trails, begin

each day, an adventure, to discover that underneath
different skin, hair & eye colors of many are the same dreams (as mine)

pressed tight into a bright bouquet of flowers, i inhale 
summer sky, wear my own colors:   emerald dress against blooming maple trees -     

& continue my drive, tilling the familiar road like my hand --  

Posted for:  D'verse Poets Pub - OpenLinkNight - Sharing a special milestone in our family. My youngest is the 2nd from right, with her best friends ~ 

Perhaps and maybes

This coming June 25, we would be 6 years in Canada.    A lot things have happened when we first landed here, carrying our hopes and dreams for a better life for my children, and for my husband and myself.

We have survived the challenges that any immigrant faces - the bitter and cold winter months,  employment, jobs, passing the tests,  schools, taxes, home and just about finding our spot in this big and wonderful country.   We are now citizens and holding a Canadian passport which makes travelling a little bit easier.   

Sometimes, my family and I would think about what life could have been, if we have not migrated.   My children were pampered and spoiled before, and never worked a day in their lives.  During the past years, my older children quickly grew up - working and studying at the same time, and learned to stand on their own.  My husband and I had a tougher time adjusting to the work environment but we also quickly "grew up".    There are some things we can do better, and there are some things we just have to accept.

Who knows what life could have been?   Maybe it would have been better, maybe it would have been worse if we did not move to Canada.    I don't know until now if we have made the right decision to burn our bridges, and just start anew in this country.   Because even if we have adjusted in Canada, there is nothing quite the feeling of home and belonging to one's native Motherland.   But I do know this -  I have no regrets being in Canada.   Though we continue to have our challenges,  we are blessed with so many things specially our children.   And for this, I am always thankful that we are where we are supposed to be -  together and enjoying God's blessings.

quote credit:   http://bitsotruth.blogspot.com