You can do better than that

You realize how important or talented you are, when someone who has been working and guiding you, tells you straight in the face,

"You can do better than that."

These words were not uttered to me but to my 12 year old daughter from her piano teacher.   She has been teaching piano to my daughter for the last 3 years and is instrumental to my child's development.   I can understand the teacher's frustration with her as 45 minutes of guidance a week is not enough to maximize my daughter's talent.     She needed to practice 30 minutes in the piano every day, because daily regimen is part of the discipline.   My daughter is lazy to play the piano everyday as playing outside or chatting with her friends are more fun.   No amount of my nagging her to practice worked.  If she really wants this, it has to come from within her, and not because of us.

As a matter of fact, my nagging to my husband to quit smoking didn't work too.  But he quit smoking, cold turkey 2 months ago.   The reason - it was getting expensive to maintain it.   When he calculated how much he was spending (the taxes in Canada are really high) on the cancer sticks, he decided he will quit.   Given the tight budget that we have, it made sense not to waste our money on this item.  He quit because he wanted to.

My husband talked to my daughter about the necessity of playing the piano on a regular basis like after coming home from school.   He said that she is very talented and has a gift which no one in our family has.   He was very forthright with her:  to not use or waste the talent is like throwing away a gift someone has given you during your birthday party.   That if she really believes that she has the talent, then by all means use all the opportunity and time to hone it and develop it 100x times.  If your teacher believes in you, then believe in yourself.

"You are better than this. "

My daughter kept quiet for while and told us, "I am going to practice everyday now."  I want to believe that because she wants to,  she will do it.

Has there been someone in your life who believed in you and what you can be?

Picture credit:   http://musicalmelody.tumblr.com/

Love is spelled T-I-M-E

It is spring break and the snow outside has melted.


At this time, spending time with our children and loved ones


are blessings we are thankful for.   Whether it is biking, walking,


baking or watching movies together,  we are creating and stamping


our "memories" with them.


Specially to a child, time spent with him or her is L-O-V-E.


Here is beautiful video from Simple Truths - To a child, Love is spelled T-I-M-E.


Simple Truths - We Hope You Enjoyed the movie!.

Photo credit:

http://photo.rodrigogomez.com.mx/index.php?showimage=507

On motivation and children's dreams

When my 11 year old daughter told me that she wanted to compete for her track and field in her school's activity next month, I was happy for her.

When she told me that when she is in secondary school, that she will try out to be part of the school sports team like volleyball, soccer, and basketball, I was happy for her.

When she told me that she plans to be a vet or an architect or an interior designer, I was happy for her.

Not because she is my daughter.

But because she is an ambitious young lady with big dreams. I admire women who can dream big. And I know that she will accomplish whatever it is that she wants to do because she works hard at it. Right now, she has been running outside with her older brother for training for the competition in next month's track and field. "I want to win Mom. " she told me.   "If I win, I get a medal and ice-cream."

We had a tougher time motivating and encouraging her older brother, at the same age, years ago. He had no motivation and interest to do well in school, despite our pleadings and even threats to transfer him to another school. You can imagine our frustration every time we get his school grades - they were low. Through all his challenges however, my husband and I encouraged him and celebrated his success in other fields where he excelled like drawing, playing the violin and sports. He eventually did well academically because his girlfriend excelled in school and he didn't want to be embarrassed about his school grades. On his last year of high school, he found out that he likes numbers and did well in his accounting classes. He then decided that he was going to university, major in Business and Finance. He had found his career path which now motivated  him to excel in the field.   These days, he is the one encouraging and coaching his younger sister to excel in school.

It is a challenge for parents to create an environment which our children will be motivated to do well in whatever it is that they want to do. Some children will find their "inner" fire earlier than others, while some may take a longer time. But the ingredients are the same:

1. show our unconditional love and support
2. celebrate their success, however small, and in whatever field they excel in
3. tell them that they are valued and important individuals with special skills and talents
4. listen, encourage and support them through their challenges
5. believe in them, and in their dreams.

Even if a child comes from a broken home or unhappy family circumstances, as long as one parent or family member loves him or her unconditionally, the child will grow up to be a responsible and highly motivated individual. Dr. Benjamin Carson comes to mind, as narrated in his book, Gifted Hands.   (please see my blog post on this.)

I believe that when there is love, our children will dream, aspire and work to be the best that they can be.

I hope you all have a nice week.

Beautiful Photo:  credit to Paolo Micheli

http://www.get-a-glimpse.com/atomPhotoBlog.php?do=show&photoId=569