mirror reflections

in the mirror,

your face 

is staring back at me

a line across your forehead

furrowed as mine

your eyes hardset as gravel

your thin mouth snarling,

a loaded gun

i fear the words tipping

out of my own lips

a thunderbolt

of energy, sharp gust of adrenalin

uncontained

i tie my curly hair back

as if to rein in myself

amidst the rising

fear and frustration

but when i put my hand

over my heart,

i

know

it beats 

differently-

soft as raindrops

Posted for dVerse Poets Pub - OLN, hosted by Linda Lyberg.  Join us when the pub doors open at 3pm EST.

The birds in space

Title and Artist:  M. C. Escher

the birds inked the sky with their plumes  

as if they knew a secret that i don't know of

cut from the same hewn, like school of fish, 

they cocked their heads in perfect angle    

hovering in mid-city sky, taupe and white

wingtips pointing to the same direction & fate  --  

i listen closely, my nostrils prickling at

their steadfast sentiments, the shape of squares   

reminding me of my mother's shawl  

now folded neatly in a drawer with her rosary -- 

shaking their feathers in a final wave,   

i see one thousand birds soaring in unison,

to a place I have yet to go --
leaving me, rooted with questions,

& pondering my next step

Posted for OpenLinkNight of Imaginary Garden with Real Toads - every Monday

and Sunday's Challenge:  Ekphrasis 

and D'verse Poets Pub - every Tuesday

Ekphrasis is the graphic, often dramatic, description of a visual work of art. The word comes from the Greek ek and phrasis, 'out' and 'speak' respectively, and as a verb it means to proclaim or call an inanimate object by name. 

of dreams

Grace @ Everyday Amazing

you didn't get to taste   
Canadian baked apple pie --

not for the first 3 years
that you live in this city -
preferring your wife's hand-rolled coconut 
milk sweets & saffron-dusted treats -- 

but these days, you bring either ham or
turkey sandwiches for lunch at work, mindful
of curry smell of your skin and breath --  

from eating rice with butter-based ghee, 
& potatoes and lentils with Indian spices, 
you politely inquire about everyone's weekend--

in this city of snow  & maple leaf dreams, 
you have traded your family's name & pride 
for the promising future of your only son 

here - in this city where immigrants
work shoulder to shoulder, cowed & bowed
from cold winter & scarce job market--

this is the city of forgetfulness --
(even the immigrant consultant forgot to tell you) 
to survive, forget the past & make a clean slate,
making mistakes, learning to conform until

you speak English slowly with little accent, 
(while writing your English novel at night)  
wear suits & pass courses - all stamped with approval -  

at the turn of the year, you buy  
groceries (including wine & apple pie) with
your modest income at nearby Walmart's store -

hailing a waiting  cab for home -
(you refused to take the driver's test still)  
the driver is turban and gruff of hair, 
another survivor, a mirror of you & you

chat, eager for a slice of familiar soil,    
comparing notes, and for a moment 
both of you remember

your dreams 

My top post for 2012 and all time is Follow Your Dreams.  I decided to write the same theme from my office mate's point of view.  And yes, I made this apple pie from scratch yesterday.  Thanks for the visit.      

Shared with D'verse Poets Pub - OpenLinkNight - Tuesday

Urban Dreams

                                                                 Chilmark Hay, 1951 by Thomas Hart Benton


he dreams 
of cornfields and hay strewn farm 
of table laden of fresh milk and bread
of simple life beneath the lavender sky

he sees
the city choked in dust and twisted steel
the street filled with foreign made goods 
the night complicated by debts and politics

he paints
heartland drawn from honest work
soil that his ancestors toiled and spilled blood  
countryside so his children may find their future, 


rooted in this land  


Posted for The Mag:   Thomas Hart BentonMore about the painter here.

I am proud to have this poem published in Nain Rogue, September 2012 (page 21).  Thanks to D'verse Poets Community for the support.

Candle of hope

guilt bites our insides
at night when everything is still 


gnawing the lines of our stomach
with soured cream and bitter vinegar, 


maybe conscience is sleepwalking, 
but mother's scolding voice is sharp in the din, 


we bite our tongue, pursing red-lined lips, 
so we don't accidentally spill thorny secrets, 


eyes closed tight, so we don't see
cracks in the wall of the confessional box,   


we meander the wheat field and chapel hills
for a drop of blessed wine, the bloom of flower


fear of discovery and rejection cripples us,
making us afraid even of our shadows


black night is long and tortuous when the mind
is beset with doubts and uncertainties of our actions  


left or right, black or white, or maybe grey,
choices pull and push till we are lost in grinding wheels  


night turns to day, we find that life doesn't pause 
at stop signs nor waits for us to board the right bus 


we are selfish and flawed, yes, but there is a 
rainbow waiting inside all of us, an unlit candle of hope 


if we ask for forgiveness and in turn,
share that grace with others, our burden lightens 


and finally, we can forgive and love




our self 





Posted for:   Poetry Jam : Forgiveness
and Theme Thursday:   Life's Uncertainties  


Picture credit:  here

Afar

when i pass this way of the road
my gaze falls on the faraway lines
trees hugging the mountain sides
shrubs leaning towards break of dawn 


i sometimes cannot catch when
winter frost clouds my car mirrors, 
numbing my hands as i break thin ice
into crystals, my red mittens dewy wet


i grip my car wheel tightly, speeding fast   
urban grey road huddled with cars and trucks
in all makes and sizes, along the freeway
humming engines, like working ants in


the trail i see zigzagging up the steps,
going here, marching to the city radio
pulsing pop music and road updates,
all noise and pollution to keep us busy, 


yet as the sun unravels, i gaze afar 
and wonder how long will i keep on 
driving until i can touch your soft leaves 
and breathe in your fresh pine scent   




Posted for:  D'verse Poets Pub -  Poetics - Visual -eyes -ing- hosted by Brian Miller
My morning and afternoon ritual in the city ~ 


Picture credit: Reena 

Start today

Life is so precious. 

 Some days you want to go back in time and relive all the beautiful moments. 

Or even redo some missteps. But the challenges make us stronger and a better person. 

 Start today; its another day.

Have a wonderful weekend ~

quote credit:   http://bitsotruth.blogspot.com/2011/07/01686.html

Full of sunshine

I was expecting a lot of sun and warm weather lately as it is summer.  But on some nights, it is still cold, along with the rain and dark clouds.

I guess that's the way life is...  you expect certain events and situations to happen, and sometimes it doesn't turn out to be like that.       This is applicable  to my life right now as I didn't get the job post I was applying for last week.  I was disappointed but I think I made the right decision to stretch myself to see what is out there.  I am thankful I do have a stable job and love the people I work with right now.   As to my recent exam results, I will know in about 2 weeks. Hopefully I pass, and I can move on to another challenge.   

All in all, the past few days wasn't too bad.   I was expecting sunshine all the way through, but the rain has been good for Mother Earth.   I see the trees in their full splendour and the garden blooming with flowers (specially my red roses). Yes, life can be full of sunshine.  


So, how was your week?   Hope you all have a good weekend ~
  

picture credit:    happythings.tumblr

We are who we choose to be

This last week has been extraordinary for me.

Last Tuesday, I took my exam (Part 2) as part of my professional designation in my field.  I have been studying for the last weeks, so I hope I pass (and not pay the cost of the exam if I failed).   

Last Friday, I had my interview for a job post in Toronto I had earlier applied to.   It was an internal job posting within my company but I have been looking out for such an opportunity 2 years ago.    The interview went well but I don't know if I pass the simple math test.   I felt inadequate just thinking I failed it.   Why did I even apply in the first place? Let me see, a challenging job, bigger pay and career promotion.   No harm in trying remember?  

Oh well that is life.    You can't control the outcomes.   You can only do your best.     

And being my best involves learning new things, stretching myself and keeping my mind sharp.    

Hope everyone is enjoying the summer.   What have you been up to?

picture credit:   http://bitsotruth.blogspot.com/2011/04/01125.html

A view of Manhattan City

If there was a spot where one can see the height of commercialism, marketing propaganda and corporate jungle... it is the Times Square in Manhattan, NY.   The consumer is assaulted by the giant billboards and sounds and images of products, concert information and what not, as one walks along the streets of Manhattan.     Broadway shows also compete for your attention.   Lots of choices to go and see and buy in this city's corner.     It is interesting to see that the people walking along the streets are mostly tourists from all corners of the world, taking pictures and videos of this well known area.  I can just imagine when it is New Year's Eve in this corner; the crowds and sounds must be 100X more intense.         

Personally for me, the most impressive thing about Manhattan are the tall buildings.   One can sense the economic power and might of these corporate buildings including the news organizations.     

My daughter was not spared the marketing hoopla.   When we entered the M&M store along Time Square, choices galore as to the colours.   The thing is, despite its choices of colours, these candies all taste the same, don't they ?  

Hope everyone has a good weekend ~

Allow Me

I learn a lot of things about myself today.

I learn that it is okay if I don't keep my house in perfect order.  It is home.   

I learn that I don't have to be a chef for my family to like my food.  It is home cooked - that makes it special.

I learn  to trust in myself,  my creativity, my unique gifts.

Most of all, I learn to love and accept    

me.

photo credit: shetakesflight.tumblr

There is something wrong with the scale!

So says my hubby after weighing himself in the bathroom scale and finding himself at 165 pounds.    He has lost 5 pounds during the last 2 months, and he has been eagerly checking if he lost 3 more pounds.    We have recently changed our diet to include more vegetables and salads for meals, and mixed nuts instead of chips and popcorn for snacks.

"How can that be?"   I said and weighed myself.   Not bad at 120 pounds.   "There is nothing wrong with the scale.  Have you forgotten that we ate out for lunch (though we shared the American sized meal)?"

Yesterday, we have taken a day off from work to watch my daughter compete for her Grade 3 Piano Competition. We had not badger or pressure her to win the top prize, as we just wanted her to have this fun experience.  Well, my daughter didn't win first place.   The girl who won this year was elated as she got her medal.   My daughter remembered that she didn't win last year.   I commented that the winner must have worked very hard during the year because she played beautifully this time around.    My daughter, who won last year's first prize, was a bit disappointed but she accepted gracefully her 4th place standing.    In retrospect, she said her teacher didn't fully prepare for this event, and she underestimated her co-players in the competition.    I hope she learned something more than just hitting the right key notes that day.

Sometimes, when things don't go the way we want to, we can look at other reasons why it didn't turn out the way we wanted it.   We can blame the weather, the teacher, the school, the computer, and yes, even the weighing scale, why things are not so picture perfect, or why we didn't get the first place award.  Why... because it is much easier to point at other things and other people, than blaming ourselves for our failures.

On the positive side, we learn from our disappointments and failures.  We learn to try harder next time, and put our best effort in the things that we want to achieve.

Turning now to my hubby, this means less or no snacks at night after dinner for you.   And no, there is nothing wrong with the weighing scale.

Have you ever blamed the weighing scale for your added pounds?

Hope everything is having a good week!

picture credit: toinspireyou.tumblr

360 Panoramic View

Don't you wish you have no blind spots specially when you are driving, and can have a wider perspective of where you are going? Unfortunately in life, we view situations and events thru a prism or paradigm, usually from our vantage point. It may be right or wrong, depending on how we see it and based on the limited information we have. It would be ideal to get different perspectives on things so we can see the whole picture before we make our decision. Sometimes seeing things or situations from another angle, can change our opinion or mind. Maybe this is the reason why hindsight is perfect 20/20 vision - we gain insights after it has happened. What may seem to be a negative situation, might turn out to be positive if we saw it differently or with a panoramic view.

Fortunately, in photography, there is a technology where we can view pictures in 360, up or down, sideways, and whichever way we want to see it. It is called panoramic photography or wide format photography.

As you know, I love looking at pictures specially landscapes and seascapes. A friend send me the link for viewing pictures at 360 angle, at all sides, up and down. It is really cool.

Now, it would be perfect if everything can be viewed this way.

http://www.photojpl.com/cities/

Hope everyone is having a good day ~

You become what you think!

"The mind is everything; what you think, you become."
  Quote by: Gautama Buddha

picture credit:   toinspireyoutumblr.com

A stroke of good luck

Every week when we buy groceries, I always see a line of people buying lotto tickets in the lottery counter.    I can see their hopeful faces, young and old, milling around the counter and jotting down what is hopefully a "lucky number."   Some are already in dreamland, thinking of what to do if they hit the jackpot.... buy a big house, car, clothes, pay off the mortgage and credit cards debts, travel every year and buy more gadgets... the list does on.   The harsh reality comes the next day, when we find out that none of our numbers didn't even show up, or that someone is luckier than us.   Okay, back to reality, back to work, back to studying, and back to the work grind.  We are not lucky at all, we sigh.

Sometimes it is a blessing that we didn't get what we wished for, as pretty much some of us asked for things or events for selfish reasons.   Imagine if we give in and grant our child every toy, wish or new gadget that they want.    We will end up spoiling our child and giving him or her a self-centered and unrealistic view of life and the way they relate to other people.

I would like to think that not winning the top prize or any consolation prizes in the lottery or contest every time,  is a stroke of good luck.   Adversity, challenges, disappointments and setbacks, makes us humble, diligent, stronger and more passionate about living.  And when we do prepare, work and get the top prize or reward, it is more satisfying and meaningful because we have earned it.   Finally, Lady Luck is on our side.

"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck."  - Dalai Lama

Picture credit:   Frank Boenigk

http://www.photoschau.de/index.php?showimage=499

Walking with friends

Why is it that when we are walking with friends,

it seems that the journey is shorter and more fun,

than if we walk by ourselves?

Sometimes, a friend's cheer is what we need

to move us along the way.

Have a good weekend everyone!

Picture / gif credit to: victoria6277.tumblr

Life is like riding a bicycle

March is finally here! Hopefully spring is just around the corner.

In the first 2 months of this year, we had 4 people leaving our office for opportunities elsewhere. Resignations (including terminations) in our office are done very quickly. One moment, you are greeting your officemates good morning, and the next moment, they are bringing out their stuff from their work station. These changes meant reorganization, rescheduling and reshuffling the workload.

My hubby was also telling me how quickly their office environment changed. One day, their boss was telling them what to do, the next day, he was resigning, and being replaced by another one. For them, under new management, this meant reshaping their product lines, retraining and updating their marketing strategies.

The changes in our office are just a small subset of changes happening around world, even quicker than we can count from 1 to 10. Much as we love things to stay the way they are or for people to remain the the way they are, we can't control changes and decisions made by other people.

To move forward, the best we can do, is to pedal our way through the changes, rely on ourselves (not others) and keep our eyes focus on the road ahead. Some changes may knock us off our seat, and drive us off our path. But if we persevere and and make the best of our lot, we can dust off the dirt from our clothes, and get back on the road. Where will it lead us? Who knows? I think this is where the adventure starts.

"Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving." - Albert Einstein

Photo credit: Mahbubur Rahman

http://www.mrahmanphoto.com/blog/?p=522

On motivation and children's dreams

When my 11 year old daughter told me that she wanted to compete for her track and field in her school's activity next month, I was happy for her.

When she told me that when she is in secondary school, that she will try out to be part of the school sports team like volleyball, soccer, and basketball, I was happy for her.

When she told me that she plans to be a vet or an architect or an interior designer, I was happy for her.

Not because she is my daughter.

But because she is an ambitious young lady with big dreams. I admire women who can dream big. And I know that she will accomplish whatever it is that she wants to do because she works hard at it. Right now, she has been running outside with her older brother for training for the competition in next month's track and field. "I want to win Mom. " she told me.   "If I win, I get a medal and ice-cream."

We had a tougher time motivating and encouraging her older brother, at the same age, years ago. He had no motivation and interest to do well in school, despite our pleadings and even threats to transfer him to another school. You can imagine our frustration every time we get his school grades - they were low. Through all his challenges however, my husband and I encouraged him and celebrated his success in other fields where he excelled like drawing, playing the violin and sports. He eventually did well academically because his girlfriend excelled in school and he didn't want to be embarrassed about his school grades. On his last year of high school, he found out that he likes numbers and did well in his accounting classes. He then decided that he was going to university, major in Business and Finance. He had found his career path which now motivated  him to excel in the field.   These days, he is the one encouraging and coaching his younger sister to excel in school.

It is a challenge for parents to create an environment which our children will be motivated to do well in whatever it is that they want to do. Some children will find their "inner" fire earlier than others, while some may take a longer time. But the ingredients are the same:

1. show our unconditional love and support
2. celebrate their success, however small, and in whatever field they excel in
3. tell them that they are valued and important individuals with special skills and talents
4. listen, encourage and support them through their challenges
5. believe in them, and in their dreams.

Even if a child comes from a broken home or unhappy family circumstances, as long as one parent or family member loves him or her unconditionally, the child will grow up to be a responsible and highly motivated individual. Dr. Benjamin Carson comes to mind, as narrated in his book, Gifted Hands.   (please see my blog post on this.)

I believe that when there is love, our children will dream, aspire and work to be the best that they can be.

I hope you all have a nice week.

Beautiful Photo:  credit to Paolo Micheli

http://www.get-a-glimpse.com/atomPhotoBlog.php?do=show&photoId=569

Where are you heading to?

As long as you know what you want, and where you want to go, it doesn't matter where you started. For some people, this may take many years as it takes a lot of courage and faith in oneself to know where you are heading to.

"It's not where you are today that counts. It's where you are headed." - Arthur F. Lenehan



Photo credit:   http://www.get-a-glimpse.com/atomPhotoBlog.php?do=show&photoId=881
by Paolo Micheli

Living in a "livable city"

What am I most thankful for today???

According to the recent Economist Intellegience Unit survey, I am living (beside it actually) in one of the top 10 most livable city in the world.   The city that  I am referring to is Toronto, ranked 4th in the list.   Two other Canadian cities were in the top 10, Vancouver is ranked No. 1 (for the past 5 years) and Calgary is 5th.

This survey just validates what every immigrant family know - that Canada is a good country to live and raise children.   It is peaceful and relatively stable without the unrest and troubles of other countries (Turkey, Libya, etc).    We do have access to health care, education, clean water and the basic government services.

You would think that Canadians are generally a happy people because of our blessings.   Some are, but some are complainers. People here gripe about taxes, roads, traffic, garbage, budget and a whole lot of other domestic issues, that gives  Toronto City, a not so picture perfect city to live.

Some of you might even be surprised to know that some Canadians suffer from depression due to work and stress.   I personally find this a paradox considering the relative wealth and stability of Canada compared to other countries.  Consider the global snapshot:

*1/3 of the world population live in extreme poverty with no access to basic needs like clean water


* almost half the world - over three billion people - live on less than $US 2.50 a day.

When one considers what most people don't even have, we are indeed blessed that we have the freedom and peace and even prosperity to enjoy the simple pleasures of life.

So, when I hear people here complaining or getting depressed about their situation, I think of people in much worse situation than we are.    I just shrug away the negative comments and accept it as part of my decision to live in this city.   From the way I see it,  things don't look so bad after all.

Here is beautiful picture of Toronto city by night ~

Picture credit:  http://wvs.topleftpixel.com/10/09/02/

Article credit:   http://ca.news.yahoo.com/vancouver-remains-worlds-most-livable-city-survey-20110220-160000-051.html