tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4856662679041828863.post3194449814032878365..comments2024-03-29T04:26:55.305-04:00Comments on everyday amazing: at night, unboxedGracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02213172239590722747noreply@blogger.comBlogger30125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4856662679041828863.post-45959997711601996222013-07-08T12:24:21.500-04:002013-07-08T12:24:21.500-04:00I echo above comment. I, too, enjoyed how your po...I echo above comment. I, too, enjoyed how your poem unfolded So vivid, I could see it so clearly. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4856662679041828863.post-15775959879258468102013-07-06T23:53:33.097-04:002013-07-06T23:53:33.097-04:00Grace, LOVE how this poem "unfolds" from...Grace, LOVE how this poem "unfolds" from the carefully modulated words and dry meanings to the slipping-out-of-work-clothes freedom of the glittering, freewheeling format. The wording rolls along perfectly wtih the format as well. One of your best, Grace, and thx for commenting at Sharp Lil. AmyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4856662679041828863.post-59195834470572467692013-07-06T23:31:27.968-04:002013-07-06T23:31:27.968-04:00Very nice !
I enjoyed it!
Very nice !<br />I enjoyed it!<br />Margiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14433759763753850718noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4856662679041828863.post-16184565772584116562013-07-06T08:52:19.418-04:002013-07-06T08:52:19.418-04:00Love your work Grace but you lost me at alarm cloc...Love your work Grace but you lost me at alarm clock.the walking manhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10058913927297370740noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4856662679041828863.post-57725547310433420162013-07-06T02:00:22.473-04:002013-07-06T02:00:22.473-04:00elegant in tone and composition, creative in your ...elegant in tone and composition, creative in your use of tropes and physical space. I admire the sense of the skyscraper being pierced - outside - then the worms crawling (I also envisioned roots of a tree growing out.) ~ Mgrapelinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14929030339206629628noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4856662679041828863.post-92201580558249448312013-07-05T13:21:54.408-04:002013-07-05T13:21:54.408-04:00"Time snails." Love that."Time snails." Love that.Maude Lynnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03669688074743095866noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4856662679041828863.post-47856362045506247762013-07-05T09:19:24.549-04:002013-07-05T09:19:24.549-04:00I like the metaphors at work here Grace. How we ar...I like the metaphors at work here Grace. How we are constrained not only physically but also mentally as well. Optimistic Existentialisthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11507986337866049924noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4856662679041828863.post-74337259434731298772013-07-05T09:08:25.232-04:002013-07-05T09:08:25.232-04:00I see this as a tender portrait of someone coping ...I see this as a tender portrait of someone coping well with the rat race,Dave Kinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08430484174826768488noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4856662679041828863.post-66971455667378928982013-07-05T06:47:52.612-04:002013-07-05T06:47:52.612-04:00I like this poem very much. Well written and felt....I like this poem very much. Well written and felt. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4856662679041828863.post-91596209174122789112013-07-05T05:45:17.997-04:002013-07-05T05:45:17.997-04:00Felt the squeeze, now i have to go worm my way out...Felt the squeeze, now i have to go worm my way outAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01012743277899891860noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4856662679041828863.post-26732195953315451292013-07-05T02:37:54.037-04:002013-07-05T02:37:54.037-04:00This is so cleverly laid out. It gave me a sense o...This is so cleverly laid out. It gave me a sense of the mundane, which can be claustrophobic in its monotony, but then there were those breaks...searching for something else. Great stuff : )Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09589253190731511955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4856662679041828863.post-78213136446432069262013-07-05T01:04:38.933-04:002013-07-05T01:04:38.933-04:00you dropped us into a place a day as every other c...you dropped us into a place a day as every other cereal boxes can be many things as can this Grace you dropped me into many thoughts as i read through and i liked a lotChris Lawrencehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12082462583986448559noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4856662679041828863.post-50028902441522266552013-07-04T23:44:21.110-04:002013-07-04T23:44:21.110-04:00Love, love this! The cubicle and the daily grind ...Love, love this! The cubicle and the daily grind and then the space where something happens--view outside, night falls,crawling the only escape outside the box. Excellent job with the enjambment and diction, almost breathless, as the air leaks out and the box caves in.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4856662679041828863.post-23811627022893866362013-07-04T22:18:04.816-04:002013-07-04T22:18:04.816-04:00... boxes on the hillside, little boxes, made of t... ... boxes on the hillside, little boxes, made of ticky tack ...<br />Some words of a song you reminded me of. Your images and figures always work for me. "A day as neat as a cereal box" stopped me first--Neat? Gosh! And then it was--normal, prompt, neat, and as usual "time snails"! and diction! unfold, cube, straight jacket, marching, plant boxes, dots, etc. No lightness until dark. Only the worms confused me, seemed down-ish when the narrator is lifting up-ish. Susanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05723639294340760325noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4856662679041828863.post-24534705944071434742013-07-04T21:04:26.287-04:002013-07-04T21:04:26.287-04:00I like this poem a lot and the way you used all th...I like this poem a lot and the way you used all the poetic devices punctuation, word placement etc. The grinding servitude of work is very well expressed.rallentandahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06980559347805844568noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4856662679041828863.post-79113848244335237352013-07-04T20:11:48.494-04:002013-07-04T20:11:48.494-04:00Yes Mary, my whole day is inside the cubicle ~ Go...Yes Mary, my whole day is inside the cubicle ~ Good thing I am in the corner with a big big window ~ Thanks for your visit ~Gracehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02213172239590722747noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4856662679041828863.post-85509668947802105742013-07-04T19:41:11.537-04:002013-07-04T19:41:11.537-04:00A vivid depiction of your day. I liked all of the ...A vivid depiction of your day. I liked all of the detail, Grace. I understand how sometimes words can press, and simmer, and fade. I just had a thought here, Grace. Perhaps your days are spent inside the box, and at night your words take you out of the box. Maryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07366010389846904663noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4856662679041828863.post-81379077031886513992013-07-04T19:22:31.967-04:002013-07-04T19:22:31.967-04:00Time can never go fast enough when you want it to....Time can never go fast enough when you want it to. I, too, work in a cubicle and sometimes the end of the day can never come as fast as I would like. Smiles.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4856662679041828863.post-23295669415376361312013-07-04T18:43:20.176-04:002013-07-04T18:43:20.176-04:00This is really good, love your visuals and the way...This is really good, love your visuals and the way your words and lines bring tension and movement.Mystic_Momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00099062213372011260noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4856662679041828863.post-53335968436687702442013-07-04T18:35:03.129-04:002013-07-04T18:35:03.129-04:00I feel fragmented,stilted, disjointed or conflicte...I feel fragmented,stilted, disjointed or conflicted is the better word? Great tension, a sense of confinement. And then the juxtaposition, silk, fragile, worm. Love the contrast. Enjoyed.LaTonya Baldwinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17837979981517423142noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4856662679041828863.post-70788170064379323322013-07-04T17:34:09.696-04:002013-07-04T17:34:09.696-04:00Well i would sure like to be the worm squirming fr...Well i would sure like to be the worm squirming free of the 9 to 5 crap, but I would not want a worm in this chap hahaPat Hatthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07745293224202430152noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4856662679041828863.post-36002344910686611302013-07-04T16:54:15.206-04:002013-07-04T16:54:15.206-04:00felt the tensionfelt the tensionWolfsrosebudhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17295258422523621134noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4856662679041828863.post-32343032358206575012013-07-04T16:11:57.387-04:002013-07-04T16:11:57.387-04:00The uniformity of the lines and the spacing add so...The uniformity of the lines and the spacing add so much to your atmosphere of constraint and stress. By the end of the poem I am longing to break free and breathe deeply through your loosened lines. The mirroring of form reinforces the fragility and limited time of that liberty. The diction and your use of numbers does give the sense of rush and business and also that all this hurry doesn't move time forward quickly. Marvelously done.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17392858163745232319noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4856662679041828863.post-29531537482735322762013-07-04T16:06:55.164-04:002013-07-04T16:06:55.164-04:00Oh, Grace, such a poem of contrasts -- really pict...Oh, Grace, such a poem of contrasts -- really picturesque. Well painted. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4856662679041828863.post-16374008293260035322013-07-04T15:23:19.122-04:002013-07-04T15:23:19.122-04:00Corrected my typo error ~ Ha, thanks ~ I like to...Corrected my typo error ~ Ha, thanks ~ I like to be that worm too ~Gracehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02213172239590722747noreply@blogger.com