Thursday, October 11, 2018

True colors



He tarried, asking for time and one more
Chance, as if sorrow was not his whim
True, women are his weakness, keeping score
His true colors bared - she can't forgive him 


Outside, leaves of maple trees, birch, aspen
Turn to brilliant autumn tints, fanning awe
Sun muscles its way from grey, red jasmine
Her hopes - forgive herself, sharpen her claws






Posted for dVerse Poets Pub - Meeting the Bar, with Frank Hubeny.   We are writing iambic pentameter.  Pub doors open at 3pm EST.   

20 comments:

  1. Nice ending: "forgive herself, sharpen her claws"

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  2. I really like how you mixed the end of that relationship with the coming of fall, and the sharping of claws...

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  3. I love the second stanza, Grace, with the different trees, the brilliant autumn tints and the lines:
    'Sun muscles its way from grey, red jasmine
    Her hopes - forgive herself, sharpen her claws'.

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  4. There are men out there who seek trophies and conquests; shame on them--passion without love is as hollow as an empty cocoon.

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  5. Have to get those claws ready as you begin again

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  6. It is interesting that you compared leaving with leaving!! A great connection to nature.

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  7. Good ending - making note of that.

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  8. Sharp determination in the midst of such natural beauty.... love it!

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  9. sun muscles its way from grey - showing that nothing is too impossible. love her sharpened claws, beauty and tenacity in one line

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  10. Love you use of color and color related words- very effective!

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  11. Nice transition from one fall to another.

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  12. Nicely done. I really like, "fanning awe." Great word combination.

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  13. This is beautiful! Relationship and nature. I love the last line.

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  14. That feisty last line! Analogy is on point!

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  15. I like the way you play with "true colours" here.

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  16. What's that classic song by Spirit - "It's Nature's Way" -- all things are revealed in time and show their true colors, the way the uniform green of a forest turns into a riot of reds and yellows. One heart true, the other a wing flying everywhere. There's such a fierce reconciling here. It's nature's way ...

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  17. It happened in the autumn time of the year. With her claws sharp, she is ready for winter.

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  18. I like autumn tints, grey and red jasmine...and the gentle warning.😊

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  19. Fabulous "fall" poetry, Grace!

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