Thursday, June 1, 2017

underneath, for real

i struggle with words
         bottled, plain as almond milk
i dress them up
         fancy as organic fresh salad & herbed 
chicken with coconut green mango drink-
         cool, instagram-worthy snapshots

i mess with lines, adding zest
        of orange and lime,   
splashing color, slices of avocado
        and sunflower seeds-
they look good as polished nails
        but lacking character & depth-

there are no undercurrents of despair
        nor scars or shadows of uncertainty
i rip the pages 
        & listen to the echoes-

sadness throbbing the busker's strumming-
        anxiety rising from old woman's woes- 
lost voices from widows and orphans-
        sirens from firetrucks & ambulances-

fears bubble, knife-edge at my tongue-
        ink spills, words-tarred 
from guts, bones & spleen
        to real, jagged lines on the page-

  
Source:  here


Posted for D'verse Poets Pub - OpenLinkNight-Join us when the pub opens at 3pm EST.  Thanks for the visit ~

43 comments:

  1. So true, it's how deeply you feel something rather than how good you make the words feel !!!

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  2. Gayle Walters RoseJune 1, 2017 at 3:11 PM

    For sure, it's emotions that round out our writings. How well you took me from the perhaps mundane which is just "alright" and plowed full force into noting the echoes of despair all around that fills in with character.

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  3. A straight, pretty description is no more than that unless it says something. No message, no point.

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  4. Now that's a coincidence, Grace! We both have pictures of aged hands.
    I identify with the undertow of despair and the struggle with words - I've had one of those days today when I drove past my destination, forgot what I was going to say, and wrote a sentence that made no sense at all - the letters ere mixed up in all the words. You have expressed the anxiety perfectly and beautifully.

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  5. You are a fine poet, but it takes work from the listener for a poem's essence to be known. It seems often the listener isn't thoroughly doing his/her part. I mean, do we realize how precious truth really is? So don't be hard on yourself.

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  6. Oh and I love the illustration to accompany this piece, as well.

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  7. I love your analogy of a 'fancy organic fresh salad' - when you write from the heart there is no need to dress it up in this way :o)

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  8. I'll take real over pretty every time. This poem is both.

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  9. "..listen to the echoes ..." so much to learn there. I love the words "buskers strumming". A beautiful and evocative write!

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  10. I love how you have contrasted the beauty set in a recipe that make my mouth water with the real of sirens and old hands... maybe we always had facades, but with social networks we can build our own Potemkin villages.

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  11. For me it is the next to last stanza, "sadness throbbing the busker's strumming-
    anxiety rising from old woman's woes-
    lost voices from widows and orphans-
    sirens from firetrucks & ambulances" truly painted well. XX

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  12. I love the honesty and authenticity of this poem.

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  13. You had me right from the get-go with "bottled, plain as almond milk."

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  14. I love this especially "i mess with lines, adding zest of orange and lime, splashing color, slices of avocado and sunflower seeds-they look good as polished nails but lacking character & depth-" Beautifully poignant.

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  15. Dark, raw, with layer after layer of emotions hidden away from sight. Good stuff. Greetings!

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  16. The first half of your poem actually started to make my mouth water. This takes quite a turn!

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  17. Powerful and evocative words and imagery, stirred me mind, body and soul!

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  18. A question we must all someday ask ourselves

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  19. Oh wow. The last stanza is so powerful.

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    Replies
    1. "coconut green mango drink" ... That sounds so delicious.

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  20. That hand is arresting.........it has lived long. A wonderful poem, Grace. I love the flavours and colours........and the way the emotions build as the poem continues.

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  21. I like the turn in this poem, the superficial becomes gritty and real.

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  22. 'i rip the pages
    & listen to the echoes- ...'

    we should do this more often.

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  23. An wonderful poem! So beautiful!

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  24. 'Real jagged lines on the page'...being able to sense something genuine is the ultimate for me in reading poetry

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  25. The Instagramming of poetry - I love the way you take the food comparison and the 'dressing things up to share' instinct and apply it to poetry. So often I see it written for effect (perhaps even more so in prose).

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  26. I'm speechless with how good and profound this is. Wow!

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  27. There's a lot of style masquerading as substance in the world at the moment. I like this angry piece.

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  28. It's intersting...."I struggle with words....I dress them up....I mess with lines....I rip the pages and listen to the echoes...ink spills, words-tarred
    from guts, bones & spleen,to real, jagged lines on the page" These words separated themsevles from the rest for me. It is the writing process...the innards of what a writer does.
    I also love the idea of the buskers within the piece.
    Remarkable post.

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  29. the contrast between the opening lines and the ending lines...wow...it says it all..beautiful!

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  30. So sorry, unexpected visitors last night have made me rather late in responding to your piece. Lovely and telling poetic juxtapositions here Grace.

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  31. Love the comparison of within to taking simple ingredients to make a fancy salad

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  32. Sharp and edgy. Unsettling, but that's a bonus.

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  33. Putting one's all in to makes something even simple, can sure hit raw.

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  34. Those hands, these lines...real life experiences etched with dirt and story. (Although with all the world's ugliness, I do like a fancy salad with avocado.)

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  35. The lines we write at times require scars and blood to flow like ink...bkm

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  36. they look good as polished nails
    but lacking character & depth-

    Most disappointing and frustrating at moments like this. Faced it many times. Very well narrated of the feelings , Grace!

    Hank

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  37. "Plain as almond milk" - great comparisons!

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  38. That photo was very interesting! First, you made me hungry and then worried so I lost my appetite. Lol! Writing is just like that.

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  39. Fascinating dissection of the crafting

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  40. I love the progression of the poetic writing process in this piece. :-)
    Happy weekend, Grace. 😊

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  41. Foods evoke so much in us - and that evocation is different for each of us. I thought the intermingling of that extended metaphor with the emotional struggle that words can evince ... brilliant!

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