Thursday, June 23, 2016

Summer day/ /mirage


The roses are flaring their skirts like bells
Red and pink, as sun strikes a heated spell 

 
                                          city park overflows-


Air is humid, our throats thirst for rain
Are hummingbirds near, our ears we strained



                                          bikers, dogs, kites so low-


Here comes the bees flickering golden wings
In a dance or trance, they busily swing



                                          we bask in music show


Bloom to bloom, sated with nectar and dew
Sky spills ribbons -  feverish hue of blue 



                                          as lake sheens to & fro-







Lake, Ontario, Canada 


Posted for D'verse Poets Pub - Join us for our last OpenLinkNight before we go on a two week summer break (July 1-17).   Trying my hand in meter from the prompt of Victoria and also for Walt's Summer Starter.   The doors open at 3pm EST.    


Thanks for the visit ~

28 comments:

  1. Oh I do love it. So very tender, and that way of using meter is just like a mirage, the undulating air hinting of heat.

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  2. Whistles!! Gosh, Grace the meter which you have executed here is absolutely breathtaking :D and what a timely poem too.

    Lots of love,
    Sanaa

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  3. Lovely and delicate rendering of summer. The rhyme adds so much to this. Roses like bells, sky spills ribbons... wonderful image of the blue sky. This is so sweet as in the sweetness of clean air and flowers - I can smell this wonderful summer in this poem.

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  4. There's a lulling, lazy rhythm in this (perhaps because of the meter) - very suitable indeed for summer days.

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  5. I love, love, love this! I especially like your description of the roses in the first stanza. I have some white ones, too, that flare their skirts revealing little pink dots down inside. :)

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  6. I love the opening line... :)
    The entire poem is gorgeous!

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  7. I love this poem for its gentility. And I love the monorhyme embedded within the poem adding subtext. Great construction, Grace!

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  8. I was taken in by this warm and dreamy mirage...lovely photo too.

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  9. You had me with the first line! Enchanting to think of roses flaring their skirts! :)

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  10. So delightful When I first began reading, I thought it was going to be a quote from some famous poet...well, it is!

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  11. I love those flirts in skirts against a "feverish hue of blue."

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  12. Lovely images of a beautiful summer day! :) Very relaxing.

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  13. You made summer come alive, lovely images

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  14. o my god!...so beautiful Grace and what lovely end words, like echo poem...

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  15. Both poems contained under the title are truly very, very good Grace. Though for meter (pacing) I liked the outside on best.

    For me, one thing that helps establish a rhythm or pace within a metric has been line length, approximate use of the same number of syllables.

    But then as you know--I simply look more to content than finesse. But if I had your skill at the imagery of beauty and tranquility, my own poems may just be more lyrical.

    I Like this two for one A LOT!

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  16. Beautiful, Grace. I'm happy it's hot enough for for mirages! Have a fantastic weekend and thank you for sharing your talent.

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  17. Love the image of the roses flaring their skirts like bells (as belles would also work).

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  18. The bees sure are working hard as summer comes to every yard

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  19. I think my entry was inspired by this, except differently done. The visuals of the poem tells the mirage aspect. Really wonderful.

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  20. Oh Grace, this is stunning. I love those opening lines:
    'The roses are flaring their skirts like bells
    Red and pink, as sun strikes a heated spell'.
    I also think the way you have interspersed the human activities very briefly in between the natural ones is so well done. And what a gorgeous line:
    'Sky spills ribbons - feverish hue of blue'!

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  21. Lovely work, Grace. I like the images and the rhythm, and also the counterpoint provided by the verses after each couplet. :-)

    ~Imelda

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  22. Your perfect metre and rhyme make this piece intricate like lace.
    I love the roses' skirts. :)

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  23. Quite a wonderful ode to the summer season <3

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  24. besides the wonderful artistic expression of your experience in this piece, you exacerbate the loveliness by how you used meter in in a form left independent from convention. gracias, lovely

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  25. Beautiful. Thanks.

    Greetings from London.

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  26. Mirages of a Summer day gives me pause to remember.

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Thank you for your comments and visit. I appreciate them ~