Thursday, April 23, 2015

My train journal


Photography credit: Totomai


The woman across my train seat mumbles to herself.  I imagine letters jumping out of the windows.   The man in winter coat leans to read a book, A Reverence for Wood.  I visualize his fingers smoothly playing on piano keys.   At the exit door, a young mother carries a baby, while holding the hand of another child.   I wonder how many hands & eyes does she really have?    The train runs slowly as caterpillar waiting for spring sun.   Before the next station stop, I  say a prayer for my office mate who will undergo her second breast surgery next week.  She has sent me a note, thanking me for joining her for lunch yesterday.  I can still smell the lingering Indian spice on my coat.


as rain clouds hover 
budding white-pink cherry trees, 
i catch a bird's caw


Posted for D'verse Poets  Pub - OpenLinkNight - A haibun on our cold spring season ~
Thanks for the visit ~

35 comments:

  1. sending out a prayer for your office mate as well... hope things turn out good for her... and i love watching people on a train... so many characters and each has their story... love how you end this with a haiku as well

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  2. Hint of spring ................spreading slowly slowly.....................

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  3. What a wonderful way to sit and observe on the commuter train. So many stories we can weave from just looking at them. Love the cherry blossom in your haiku.. After I have finished my sonnet project it's time for haibun I think.

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  4. I love to people watch and make up stories about them. And your office mate - sending prayers as well. I like how the smell of the meal you shared still lingers on your coat. Lots of mystic in that line. And that haiku - wonderful. Our cherry blossoms are long gone now but the crows in the trees in my yard talk to the sky of blue above them.

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  5. You have beautifully portrayed the sights that you observed on the train. My favorite bit is: "I wonder how many hands & eyes does she really have?".
    And "i catch a bird's caw" of the haiku is endearing.
    -HA

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  6. I do love me a haibun; yours is delectable, insightful, imaginative, without losing sight of the personal. I like to write mine with a haiku as prologue & epilogue. I like the line /the train runs slowly as a caterpillar waiting for spring sun/.

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  7. We all carry a story.... I love all the details. A prayer for your friend.

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  8. I love people watching too, wondering who they are and imagining their lives. Spring is indeed here and crows welcome it with their caw as buds come out to play, lovely stuff!
    Anna :o]

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  9. Beautiful halibun. It's like I was there.

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  10. This is so real.....the way we ponder and our thoughts wander. Liked it very much! :)

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  11. symphony simple sounds, clickety-clacks and journey turn radius elliptical cycles, the songs we use to keep track of those souls in our lives we wish every joy and thrive unmitigatedly upon...I love how the closing stanza seemed to me to be as if the caw was meant as an acknowledgement upon having heard your prayer...

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  12. What great and vivid imagination you have....nice!

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  13. I enjoyed the vivid observations of the train passengers and where this led your thoughts, Grace. I too like to imagine beyond the surface offered to our eyes. This was perfect for a haibun.

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  14. There is so much to observe when one is riding on a train....so much to contemplate as well, such as the friend with breast surgery next week; and the Indian spice, it does stay with a person, doesn't it? And those budding cherry trees, yes...oh yes! Spring is here.

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  15. Can see much on a train, hopefully your office mate's surgery goes well

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  16. Poignant. A cameo which captivates.

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  17. A wonderful moment in time - I love the many eyed, many handed mother- sending prayers of healing and courage for your friend.

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  18. a beautiful collage in haibun...

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  19. Dear dear Grace

    I love the haibun and I can see the mother with eyes everywhere so clearly. As well the chilled window panes of the train.

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  20. I too felt like I was there. Well done, indeed!

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  21. The caw of the bird in your final line was chilling. I'd have felt happier about the outcome to have heard a blackbird or a thrush! The progression of the prose towards the haiku took us along with you.

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  22. I want the spring back! We are already cooking in summer here... Your haibun just makes me long for it even more..

    ~Prajakta

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  23. Ah.. to be mindfully aware in the poetry.. dance.. and photography of life.. in now.. and to count those blessings as the poetry of life.. IN words and
    other visual symbols of human heart and soul of expression..
    is a note of time worth sharing for those with eyes and ears
    to FEEL and LOVE.. for NOW..:)

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  24. This is so utterly mesmerizing.. :D
    Adore it..!
    xoxo

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  25. Grace, I liked this very much. The singular notion, viewing someone and letting go of what you see versus what you dream/imagine. I have read "A Reverence for Wood," and your thought of the piano, the wood underneath the ivory, is essentially brill. Amy

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  26. An exquisite haibun - a beautiful "coming together".

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  27. Thoughtful and train-like thoughts really...adore your haiku...graceful words and images x

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  28. a beautiful haiku Grace - I feel for your friend - cancer is a terrible foe.

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  29. Very appropriate and classically beautiful haibun - and I also like your fleeting, dairy-like impressions. Wishing your office mate all the best, too!

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  30. What a fabulous word-painting, a feast for the senses, and a rich tapestry of emotion. Sending good thoughts for your office mate.

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  31. I enjoy the creativity inspired by the haibun and you've used it so effectively. The idea of a train journal in itself seems like a perfect opportunity for writing. The haiku part of the poem is like a big exclamation point!

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  32. Thanks for bringing us along on your journey. I heard the sounds and saw the colors. Blessings and prayers for your friend.

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  33. Blessings to your friend... I really enjoy poems that bring little details like so to life. Greatly written

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  34. I think a train journal is a marvelous idea so much one could capture on a commute.

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  35. it's the spice line that completes the capture for me ~

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Thank you for your comments and visit. I appreciate them ~