Sunday, July 6, 2014

Two snapshots



I.   Flash Fiction 55 words

     She sits, pale-flustered on red-cushioned seat of train.

     Across her, young girls laugh merrily, bright in summer shirts, shorts & back packs.

     Day painting job smears a man's pants, boots & pony-tailed hair, silver white.

     A group of jellyfish is called a bloom or swarm.

     I move towards the next exit doorway, carried by tide.


II.  For Margaret's challenge - Life on an Island


     Is a slow drift of afternoon sands
     Is opening the oven to freshly baked bread
     Is watching boats meander, unheeding wind & sky

     Is dabbing the sun's colors on your cheeks
     Is making a list and tying it to a kite
     Is a lost world, filled with treasures no one can count


Overlooking "Teach's Hole" (aka Blackbeard)
By Margaret Bednar

Posted for Imaginary Garden for Real Toads
& Poets United
Personal Notes:   The baby robins have hatched and my brother is recovering in his home after a bout with a rare disease ~  Thanks for your kind thoughts & prayers.

33 comments:

  1. nice.....that first one is pretty cool....because of the concrete images, that one jellyfish line really pops as it is unexpected....and then you put it to use nicely in the last line....

    hope you are well grace.

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    1. Just enjoying the slow weekend Brian, thanks ~

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  2. Ah, I like the idea of a lost world filled with treasures no one can count....makes me want to look around and appreciate life's bounty.

    (Glad your brother is doing better, Grace. Whew!)

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  3. Both pieces are enchanting and haunting.. I love the inclusion of the fact about the jelly fish in the first and how you linked that to the last line, and this image is sterling: "Is making a list and tying it to a kite..."

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  4. Be fun to visit such a lost world, as long as no jellyfish were there to sting me haha

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  5. Very nice poems, Grace. The second one is my favorite. I like its rhythm and the serene and grateful way of life it suggests.
    I am glad your bother is now at home.

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  6. I enjoyed both of your offerings but, I really like the image of tying a list to a kite and then letting go feeling freedom in flight..

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  7. I like the line about making a list and tying to a kite, like setting your dreams free to soar. Hope your brother feels better. Happy summer, Grace :)

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  8. Like your observations in first one, Grace. ~ Very poetic, meaningful, tender feelings in second poem. Sounds like favorite things :) ~ Esp. ' Is dabbing the sun's colors on your cheeks' ~ Thanks.

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  9. Lovely duo Grace! You catch the spirit of living on the island most succinctly in the 2nd!

    Hank

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  10. You have brought me right there. By the time I reached the photo, (dreamy too) I was sailing away.

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  11. both beautiful snapshots...the image of the lost world with infinite treasures lingers...

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  12. Your snapshopts are as if taken with a most expensive camera, by a most talented photographer. Enjoyed tham both Grace.
    Didn't know about your troubles. Hope your brother recovers very soon, and the birds fly healthily to the sky.

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  13. gosh, Grace, i love these both. you've really set a mood, and these are both a bit surreal. love them!

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  14. I love the way you capture a moment and give us a flavor of it--beautifully done Grace

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  15. i especially loved the second one.. great feeling it leaves.

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  16. Very lovely, Grace. I am glad about the baby robins, and to hear your brother is recovering. One more reminder how things can change so suddenly.

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  17. I: The change from concrete to abstract in that jellyfish line and further is amazing.
    II: What a refreshing read! I particularly liked your view of life on an island being like opening an oven and finding a freshly baked loaf.
    :-)
    -HA

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  18. Super charming, grace-- first, glad to hear of your brother. The. Both poems are lovely and express your keen eye and sense of appreciation. Thanks.

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  19. I like the correlation between the ride on the train and a bloom of jellyfish. A very interesting visual.

    The second piece had me continually smiling with each line. The last line holds an interesting truth.

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  20. Wow. Two knock-outs. Lovely imagination in the first - it brings to life such a mundane thing as riding on a train (great people watching skills!) The second really is a place … and it is called Ocracoke. :) Totally adored this one…

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  21. Hi Grace. Glad to hear your brother is on the mend.

    The 4th line of the 55 is such a great description of that gaggle of girls. And then, you perfectly render life on an island.

    Have a good week ~

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  22. luv the jellyfish line myself, photos of them really present a bloom-like image.

    Happy you stopped by my blog, have a nice week

    much love...

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  23. Each of these is a perfect vignette, Grace. I love the image of jellyfish, amorphous and colorful, in the first and the list tied to a kite--we need to do that more often with lists, I think.

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  24. Enjoyed each...the tide of human "jellyfish" carrying you to the exit, And life on an island (maybe solitary? I've been there!)...but I sure didn't bake bread. But I can sit here reading yours, and smile over the image-scent--you sent.

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  25. you've got a great talent! thanks for sharing your wonderful pieces with us!

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  26. Is dabbing the sun's colors on your cheeks
    Is making a list and tying it to a kite
    Is a lost world, filled with treasures no one can count

    Love love this whole section!!

    I also really like the cool portion you brought in the first about the jellyfish and the tide.

    Excellent post, Grace!!

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  27. I really enjoyed the second post. It reminds me of living so close to the beach. Every day is a great one. As always, thank you for sharing your writing. Happy Week!!

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  28. Love the thought of "jellyfish" describing the passengers. Yes, an exit certainly is a tide of humanity trying to get through a narrow space.

    Such a beautiful description of life on an island in the second one.

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  29. The lost world with uncountable treasures is still ringing behind my eyes. Lovely.

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Thank you for your comments and visit. I appreciate them ~