Saturday, July 26, 2014

Are pancakes a hang-over cure?


Grace @ Everyday Amazing


One side burnt, the other cheek pale
It's been some time since I made pancakes
I say-
drizzled with blueberries
fluffed eggs & milk, but this one is still good -  

I set a pancake on plate for my 15 year old daughter
who came to bedroom in the pre-dawn hours
"Mom,
can you please prepare pancakes in morning?"
Her voice is a child
requesting for lullaby for her stomach

now empty
after hovering her face over
white toilet bowl
retching
hours before
my hubby calmly inducing her vomiting
My daughter kneels, wobbly & glassy eyed
"I will never drink again, she says -
This is awful."

Her first time to drink unsupervised 
in her best friend's surprise party 
I clipped my tongue, carefully
aiming my words
"Now you know why beer & wine stores
don't sell to teenagers because they don't know
their limits."  I say (you need to be 21 years here)

I chastise myself for allowing her to go to 
neighbor's impromptu party-
How could I forget
what bored teens do on Friday summer night?

"I asked for it, beer, wine
I wanted the experience
But I don't remember anything anymore 
only puking at the backyard. 
I don't even know most of the crowd."

I grab the phone to talk to neighbor's mom
scratch that, to berate her for letting the crowd go out of hand
But the phone went to voice mail, so I tidy
her mess -

Spit, vomit, toxic, fears
Her bedroom stinks of regrets
I probe further & find that nothing else
happened
"The party broke up after 1 hour of our
departure because the police came.  
I'm glad my friends took care of me 
since I blacked out", she adds  

I want to give her an armor
and cotton wings 
and certainty of owning one's voice

"This is how to hold your own (I understand
peer pressure)-
Eat first, then stick to just one type of drink,
(just in case you decide to drink)
& keep your friends nearby."  I say

She sleeps with an ice pack on her head
A shallow bowl, two paper towels, two towels 
await beside her bed for gentle nursing- 

I, who have set her (our) limits
"Boundaries are important"-
                                        gives her space&time-
       
There is a trick to turning near-perfect pancakes 
Allow batter to set & firm ever slightly, 
then test-flip the other side quickly on buttered pan-  

Too soon,  it's a wet-mangled yolk
Too late,   it's a fire-scarred wood
I pour light maple syrup on my pancake
                                       savoring summer slow & easy
                                        


Posted for OpenLinkNight of D'verse Poets Pub - Thanks for the visit ~

68 comments:

  1. Omy I remember when Espetanza had one of this (about 17) and hubby have to stop the car cause she has to vomit.
    Not happens again.But always Im afraid when she go to some party omy@
    I understand you my dear Grace!

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    1. Thanks Gloria ~ Hubby is experienced by now (she is our 3rd child) but I still worry, ha ~

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    1. Teens are a different tribe though, smiles ~

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  3. Grace, I'm glad I never had children. Good poem >KB

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    1. Children have their good & challenging years ~ For me, I never regret my choice of having them (3) ~ Thanks KB ~

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  4. Oh, poor little thing. My first hangover was when I was a teen, at home, at a party we had. My dad asked me to bring people empty drinks to him when they needed a refill. Only I didn't wait until they were empty. I emptied them, all kinds of different things. Misery.

    Now I'm hungry for pancakes, though. I love how you told this story--book-ended between the pancakes.

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    1. What an experience, smiles ~ Thanks Victoria ~

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  5. I like the mash-up - pancakes and teen hangovers - those are early lessons and good ones. Enjoyed the read.

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  6. Ahh..the lessons of youth..and so glad i don't live in a place that requires a drink..to escape the constraints of life anymore..is what your words remind me of..and so sad when i do go to dance..i at 54 have to be the one brave enough to start off the dance.. stone cold sober..and free..;)!and haha!..convincing folks i'm sober..is another act of grace!..:)but anyway..i enjoyed the pancakes..:)!

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    1. Happy to know you enjoyed the pancakes :-) Thanks ~

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  7. the seasons of life a parent endures... the first set of pancakes never seem to turn out...

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    1. Trial and error, I guess ~ Thanks ~

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  8. Raising teen agers to adulthood is certainly not for the faint of heart. I guess every young person has to learn lessons, and it sounds as if your daughter learned one, which hopefully will hold her in good stead in the future. I think you, as a mom, handled it very well, Grace!

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    1. Not for the faint of heart, I agree ~ Thanks Mary ~

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  9. Oh Grace - this is wonderful, tying together pancake process with what a parent walking through a girl-child through adolescence! Your words lend light to how one stewards a precious project - slow and easy.

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    1. Slow and easy, I like that ~ Thank you Lori ~

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  10. I raised 3 daughters, 2 of them acted out your scenario, the other was into drugs; but alas, all grown up, married, with children of their own now; life finds its own level it seems.

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    1. My two older boys are fine & level headed ~ I guess its a stage most young ones goes through but you are right ~ Life finds its own level eventually ~

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  11. Sounds like she had an experience that lead her the right way in some sense.. The day after when only regrets remain is the best armor for future temptations...

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    1. Better now than later ~ At least we are still around to guide her ~ Thanks Bjorn ~

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  12. Poor her, poor you. It is so hard being a teen and a mother of a teen. I love the line, " her voice is a child asking for a lullaby for her stomach." I'm sure she appreciated those pancakes :)

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    1. Yes she did ~ She is feeling much better though, thanks ~

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  13. I like this poem, Grace! It is one of my favorites of yours. I like how you balance the sourness of the drinking night and regrets with the sweetness and comfort of your pancakes.

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    1. Thanks Gabriella ~ I never thought of it that way but you have given me another angle to work on ~

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  14. What a one important lesson for your daughter! Glad it's already over. Your poem-story has very nice qualities though: dialogs, sometimes even funny expressions like 'Her voice is a child
    requesting for lullaby for her stomach'
    and so poetically magic lines: 'I want to give her an armor
    and cotton wings ' ~ Wish the best for your daughter and you. :)x

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    1. Well I hope so ~ Thanks humbird ~

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  15. Agh--you are a good mom--it seems so frightening these days that someone could black out and be in real trouble--that is just horrible--glad she's okay and also that you got a poem out of it! Thanks. k.

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    1. I got scared when she told me that part...but she is safe then and now, thanks K ~

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  16. She sure learned what alcohol does the hard way. Hopefully no more of such days will come due now.

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    1. I think a grounding of parties will come next, smiles ~

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  17. Evening Grace, we've all been there, I think. I particularly liked : 'lullaby for the stomach" and "stink of regret' say no more...

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  18. yikes...I hope she can cling to this memory the next time a drink is close at had...the pancakes do sound quite delicious, 'specially with blueberries.

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  19. Oh dear. That has taken me straight back to my teenage years. And those of my sons. No pancakes then that I recall though.

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    1. I can't recall pancakes either, smiles ~

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  20. A rite of passage at some point for many of us, I fear. And sometimes it takes two or three lessons before we "get it!" Still she came home, she shared with you, and since we can't protect our children from everything when they are out of our sight, we do the next best thing and sneak in what advice we can while they are vulnerable and open to listening. Still a few teen years left for you, good luck. (Oh that pancake request sounds just like my son!)

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    1. I am always looking for ways to sneak in advice ~ Pancakes on weekend are great, smiles ~

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  21. Grace, your handling of your daughter and the pancake makes for great writing........hopefully she feels so awful she will be very wary another time......

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    1. Well I hope so but I will make sure there is no next time ~ Thanks Sherry ~

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  22. I can see a face in the pancake - should it be a shrine?

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    1. You can..all I see are mashed blueberries ~

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  23. Trying to eat something the day after drinking way too much is awful. I've been there and done that, WAY too many times than I care to admit to. This does teach a valuable lesson about drinking responsibly, of course. Hope she's feeling better, and thanks for this piece. I really liked the writing. I love "lullaby for her stomach". A beautiful way to put it.

    -Mike

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    1. She is feeling better, thanks Mike ~

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  24. My children are all perfect...Remind me to write them a letter of thanks :)

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    1. Mine too except for an occasional hiccup, smiles ~

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  25. then test-flip the other side quickly on buttered pan-Yes, this really hits the nail on the head, great line and so brilliantly placed in the poem. Excellent image that really makes that painful process of growing up. Superb.

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  26. Oh I remember those days so well. The comparison of raising children (teens) to flipping pancakes...genius.

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    1. Thanks Lisa ~ Timing is everything, smiles ~

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  27. I think teenagers need almost as much supervision as toddlers. I'm so glad that I survived my girls' teenage years...smiles. Wonderful share, Grace. I like how you begin and end with those pancakes.

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  28. Raising kids is certainly a challenge but a great experience. A lovely share.

    Ps Pancakes looks yum :)

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  29. ooh I have been on both sides of this...as mother and as daughter

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  30. Oh joys - a few years to go still (I hope) until my two get to that age... I was never really hungover when I was a youngster - enjoyed too much staying in control and got sick very quickly...
    A lovely conversational tone to this poem - reminiscent of Claudia, somehow!

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  31. my poor kids always heard: "Nothing good happens after midnight" :)

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  32. You handled this well. I have a feeling that your daughter learned more from this one event than from any single admonitions she may ever get from anyone. I am very glad though that she got nothing but a bad hangover.

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  33. I think you did a wonderful job, nurturing your daughter and not judging her for her mistake. I think most of us have had some awful experiences with alcohol in our youth. A lovely poem!

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  34. Well, hopefully the stink of regret will be a lesson learned but, sometimes we all learn the hard way. I hope the pancakes did the trick.

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  35. "I want to give her an armor
    and cotton wings
    and certainty of owning one's voice"

    That is the prayer of all of us parents with teenagers. I have a 20 and an 18 yr old. You handled that situation well, and I totally empathize with your worries. Well written poem.

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  36. oh geez....i remember my first time...goodness...i am glad i have grown up a bit since then...lol...i am glad all is well though...no permanent damage...and hopefully some learning....

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  37. Well, that was a journey back in time and a reminder of a hard-earned lesson. Well told.

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  38. Oy. Her belly turned more flips than that pancake. Good week to you ~

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  39. oh..as if i just had a journey to my teenage years...:)) thanks for sharing this story, Grace, so vivid and poetic!

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  40. This is such a fragile time for teenagers. Have you read Brainstorm by Daniel Siegel MD? It has helped me tremendously in understanding the things my 17 year old daughter does and why. It helps me to look back at my own behavior as a teen and understand my OWN behavior. I highly highly recommend reading this: http://www.drdansiegel.com/books/brainstorm/ What a journey to be a parent. I'm glad your daughter is safe at home now. Clearly you are not alone here Grace, I hope that is a comfort for you.

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    1. Thank you for your kind words Laura ~ I will check out the link ~

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  41. I had no answer for this when i first read it but then i got older, added a number and you know how wisdom comes with age and shit.

    I saw myself at 15 in this--at 17 it was no big deal because they always said i was seas sick--it was not sea sickness.

    Think back to your kid at 10, nice normal wonderful child, still looked to the folks for direction and answers.

    Then at about 12-13 the change happened, the alien DNA (you do know that in our ancient past alien beings mated with evolving humans) came to the fore. and that sweet kid all of a sudden questioned everything, Why? what do you know? You've never done anything fun, never been anywhere, couldn't spell cool even if it was on TV while the guy talked about the weather...and on and on and on.

    I have 3-30+ plus year old kids, I think the alien DNA regressed back into its place in the double helix around 20-21. Then all of a sudden it's "Maybe, just maybe you did know what you were talking about, maybe. So hey mom can you send me money for some food?" Ah Humanity returning is complete.

    Besides doing well in school i think a teenagers sole job is surviving being a teenager without acquiring a criminal record. I hope you made her do her own upchuck smelling laundry and didn't let her shower until the end of the next day. Sometimes living in a little shit is good for the soul.

    You're almost through it grace, keep your hands away from your head, that's how i went bald---teenagers.

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