Saturday, June 14, 2014

Inside his damaged heart

lies a ticking clock
winding so slow, dawn slumbers
above water's stillness



From my sister's album
Vietnam's national flower, lotus



You sit still, silent as lotus
Listening as frantic heart beats
Wash over you, fold & repeat
Nights are the worse, without notice

Pain strikes from your scarred heart, so blue
It etches your voice so faint, frail 
I hold phone close, deeply inhale 
As you thank me for calling you


Wishing you Happy Father's Day !!!


Posted for Imaginary Garden for Real Toads - Yeats' Octaves
and Poets United - Thanks for the visit ~
First poem - haiku
Second poem - Octave
The basic structure of this 8 line stanza is iambic tetrameter or pentameter (eight or ten syllable lines for those who do not feel comfortable working with meter), with the rhyme scheme:
a b b a c d d c. 

50 comments:

  1. A lovely tribute to your dad. Reminded me of my dad who also had a heart condition. I'm glad though that he lived with me until he passed away. btw The lotus is also the national flower of India.

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    1. Sadly, my folks are a world away from me ~ Thank you for your visit ~

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  2. A very poignant poem--lovely. k.

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  3. the lines remind me of my father whom i lost last year...heartfelt words Grace ....

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  4. Firstly, a beautiful haiku.
    And the octave is etched with sweet emotions. Heart-felt writing.

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  5. Just to be able to call.. Every time hearing a voice.. The haiku connect so well to the rest.

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  6. Poignant and moving. It knocks on the emotions when one's old man is not quite well. To be talking together is a noble thing to do. Great write Grace!

    Hank

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  7. The phone helps, but nothing beats being there.

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  8. Sometimes a phone call makes all the difference in the world. It is always nice to know that someone cares enough to actually pick up the phone and call.

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  9. Very poignant poem, Grace! It can hard to see our parents age and become so frail that their voice is but a whisper on the phone.

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  10. smiles...i am sure he was very appreciative of the phone call and the happy fathers day.....those connections, no matter the distance apart are so important...

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  11. A very moving poem, Grace. Fortunately we have the means to (at least partially) overcome the problems of distance. Have a great Sunday.
    Steve K.

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  12. resounding words. like a single smile can change the life path of some one, a single word, the voice speaking 'i love you' from a child to a parent can change their world.

    wonderful piece. 'gracefully' said

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  13. A call can go a long way, even when continents apart

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  14. The blue frail voice. Beautiful. It must be hard for who are separated by oceans. The sadness in your poem is palpable.

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  15. The feeling must've been tough to be away from someone so dear to you. How lovely to gift your father a call, Grace. Find time to be with him once in a while. Smiles. Happy Father's Day to your Dad & Husband as well.

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  16. How he must have loved your call! Hard to be at a distance from him, with his health frail. Beautifully written, Grace. All the best.

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  17. beautiful and heartfelt - I know the grief of being too far away - but to hear his voice - a blessing K

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  18. Distance doesn't make the love any less for the person you love deeply..It always stays with you inside your heart..:)

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  19. happy fathers day.. it's tough when you're so far away and not able to see him...glad that there at least are telephones to hear the voice of the other

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  20. wow! a wonderful poem...your dad must be proud for you!

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  21. Aww Grace what beautiful poem dear Grace abd I think in my dad too sometimes is ok others not.
    At afternon I go to their home.
    Touching and beautiful as well.
    Im sure he was happy when you called dear.♡♥

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  22. How sweet. Sounds like you have a loving relationship with your dad. I'm sure he feels your love even from a distance. A special poem and tribute to him.

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  23. Love know no distance - how proud you must be of each other.
    Anna :o]

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  24. This format disciplined your lines, leaving me wanting more and thankful for the little you gave. Talk about form and content working together! Thank you for sharing this.

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    1. I love the image above the picture, and then again in your main stanzas the flower over the water ... I can almost see Buddha sitting there.

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  25. Well shared in your picture and words
    ZQ

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  26. wonderful.

    I have so much to learn...

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  27. Lovely poem Grace, my wife talked with her Nanay and Tatay everyday but not the same as being there in person.

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  28. You have certainly captured the emotion of speaking to a loved one over the miles.

    I am interested to see that you have split the octave into two quatrains.

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  29. Beautiful poem for your dad :)

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  30. Ah, how lovely. The ghost of Vietnam still obscures my family's vision. Better and better as the years pass ...

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  31. A poem written with love..and sometimes a phone call can be magical..

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  32. Nicely written Keats Octave for Fathers Day, Grace. It reminded me (it should do that, right?) of my mother-in-law who would almost always tell us when ask what she was doing, "Oh just watching the four walls." She died in 2007, same year as my father.
    ..

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    1. I did a 'nobody knows' play on Mema and her four walls on May 30, my sketch prose poem ((of sorts). You may have peeked at it:
      http://jimmiehov6.blogspot.com/2014/05/living-on-thames-sketch-book-challenge.html
      ,,

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  33. I envy the lotus, not its beauty as much as its beginning.

    My kids all called for fathers day and i turned the tables on all of them and asked them for a loan. They to a one all said "What? do I look like an ATM."

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  34. Love your haiku. The opening line is so powerful.

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  35. this is sounds poetically realistic! great !!

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  36. Nice poem. I am sure it made a lot of father's really happy.

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  37. I'm sure your father appreciated the call :) ~

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  38. I love the last line. It is a perfect way of closing a beautiful poem.

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  40. This poem is so beautiful, showing how deeply you care about your father and it makes me think how precious our relationships with our parents are especially when we know how vulnerable they are when we always want to think they are invincible. I hope you're doing well! Have a wonderful start into the new week.

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  41. Your beautiful poem makes pain beautiful. Lotus is national flower of India also:)

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