Saturday, May 3, 2014

Two subway train vignettes

In train crowd, there's always one firecracker
Everyone avoids like sudden gust of cold wind


Today, it's an earnest young man pleading for coins
But his speech is stump by megaphone 
announcing a derailment on northern station.


He steps out the train.   I hear distant sound
of rain flinting the concrete steps as door closes.      
 

~0~0~


She is counting, not the platform stops
but knots & turns of her crochet needle-

The red yarn is net of fishes
or stars    

It's hard to say
with her fingers trilling to a robin's song- 




Posted for Imaginary Garden for Real Toads - Kerry's Challenge
& 55 Words Challenge
& Poets United

Thanks for the visit ~

48 comments:

  1. i like the second on better...its more fluid to me...and i can see her easily, sitting there working away as she travels...i love public transport because it allows you to meet and or just watch so many different people at different levels of society.

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    1. Actually she was standing while doing crochet ~ I am always amazed when people are standing while reading or doing something else, such multi tasking skills are beyond me ~ Thanks for the visit Brian ~

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  2. Passing time as she travels away, making something of worth to her

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    1. A good way to pass the time, I am sure ~

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  3. After reading this, I closed my eyes and imagined the second part while riding the subway. The first part... made me swallow a bit.

    Great imagery trip.

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  4. Ooo..I love the contrast of these two portions...interconnected web that holds all of life's intricacies together. Excellent!

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    1. Thanks for the lovely comment Hannah ~

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  5. I knit crochet sometimes and I learned with my chilean grand mom and she died young so this touched me but really I love all you write and happens me the same with Brian.thanks.
    My grand mom was an amazing cook too:)

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    1. I haven't knitted for a long time but it was my grandmother who did until she became too frail in her old age (she lived until 93) ~ Thanks Gloria ~

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  6. I LOVE your brevity, Grace. The condensation makes for greater power. Well done.

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    1. The word limit does make me careful of my lines ~ Thanks Kim ~

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  7. This are excellent examples of vignette: the clarity of each is so sharply focuses, while the journey itself creates the sense of fade. I enjoyed both snaps very much.

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    1. Thanks for the wonderful challenge on vignette Kerry ~

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  8. love these snippets, quite familiar in our place too...

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  9. Wonderful vignettes.. This I need to try (though I think I have done it) - subway trains are such a strange place to be both public and private.. And sometimes we just don't fit properly.

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    1. Some of us just don't fit, its only a ride but I get a lot of ideas watching people in my office commute ~ Thanks Bjorn ~

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  10. The railway stations are full of stories..........

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  11. i enjoyed both. i especially was taken by the crocheting lady. reminded me of my mama. she left me with six or seven multi-stitch colorful crochet blankets

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    1. My grandmother crochet for the entire family ~ Each of her children have a piece or more of her crochet pieces ~ Thanks for the visit ~

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  12. I like both parts of this. The first one really describes the way people shy away from beggars on the trains here in Stockholm, and the second one lets me visit with a very different and far more peaceful traveling mind-set. Well written!

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  13. Grace I will ever sympathize with the beggar and adore the one who can make him clothes with the simple knotting of yarn. That old train certainly is big enough to hold both and have room for yet more.

    Peace.

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    1. I love how you inter connected my two vignettes ~ Thanks for your thoughtful comments Mark ~

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  14. very cool on the lady who's crocheting in the subway... ha - time well used - i used to do all kinds of things when i was still commuting by train...today i would sketch

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  15. i like the second part as well, it flows well, and I also knit and crochet, so that feels closer.

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  16. WOW! The ragged possibility of the first and the smooth flow of the second. This is such masterful image making. I know the woman in the second vignette!

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  17. I like the second vignette
    fingers trilling to a robins song...What a stunning image...!

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  18. I love these vignettes - I could see the train and the young man.

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  19. Grace, that is such a perfect way to describe those we'd rather didn't ease onto our radar. I loved this!

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  20. Very different poems, one from the other… I am more comforted by the second, obviously… but the first certainly makes one realize the importance of paying attention to everyone!

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  21. Passing time in a train station---love these little snapshots--

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  22. Great vignettes, Grace!!! After four days riding the Metro in Barcelona, I think I saw it all (maybe.)

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  23. Grace,
    You have poured so many different images and ideas into these vignettes...almost like a kaleidoscope. I'm also struck by the photo. It reminds me of the short piece by Pound-In A Station of the Metro, where he compares the faces he sees to petals on a wet black bough. I guess great minds like yours' think alike! Have a great evening!
    Steve K.

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  24. Oh, I love the second one, Grace. It makes me think of my mother.
    K

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  25. i like both, but your language choices in the first really charm me, like "his speech is stump" and "he steps out the train." love that.

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  26. I love both of these...your command of words always amazes me..

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  27. I like the first one guess I'm kinda partial to rainy days, both are well described in your words thanks for sharing.

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  28. the second flows a bit more... :) ~

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  29. I could stand there for hours at a train station and watch people. So many different, unique, interesting people. Your poem is an amazing capture of two of them!

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  30. luv especially the secod phase the images are really nice; you can still link up at my Sunday meme its still open

    http://myblog-lunchbreak.blogspot.com/2014/05/1437.html
    much love...

    much love

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  31. I liked them both. I can picture the two of them riding the train. Each on their own journeys. Well done. As always, thank you! Have a beautiful week!

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  32. Sounds like a lot going on in the subway.

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Thank you for your comments and visit. I appreciate them ~