Saturday, May 17, 2014

Terzanelle: Dreams of black forest

A Chandelier that Projects Tree Shadows




At night the white walls comes to life
As roots crawl steadily to sky

Crowning tepid air with sharp knife 

Branches writhe to drumming cries        
Gnarled arms embracing black forest
As roots crawl steadily to sky

To pounce on pitiful harvest
Where once dawn rules, shadows now reign 

Gnarled arms embracing black forest

Thick with mourning of past in chains   
Filled with panic of scented prey  

Where once dawn rules, shadows now reign

Toss in bed, legs restless betray
Feverish trance of a lost soul 

Filled with panic of scented prey 

You hear mocking sounds & loud groans      
At night the white walls comes to life 
Feverish trance of a lost soul            
Crowning tepid air with sharp knife



Posted for Imaginary Garden for Real Toads  - Challenge Poetry Form - Terzanelle 

Terzanelle:  This is a marriage of the Italian Terza Rima with the French Villanelle and can present a challenge to the serious poet. It consists of five stanzas of three lines (tercets), and the final stanza having four lines (quatrain).  To read more including the complicated rhyme scheme, please click on Real Toads ~

Happy Weekend ~

34 comments:

  1. I love the dark tone of this, Grace...very befitting of the challenge with the black forest and this form really works well...a haunted echo-y sentiment. Well done on this!! Thank you for joining!

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  2. Never know what could be lurking about as the walls show much, great job on the challenge too

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  3. Wonderfully done, Grace. Full of mood and atmosphere.

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  4. I too love the darkness, dream-like (or should that perhaps be nightmare?) quality of this. Beautiful work!

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  5. the breath and the whisper of the Black Forest could be felt here...haunting
    lines...a beautiful poem

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  6. "Toss in bed, legs restless betray
    Feverish trance of a lost soul
    Filled with panic of scented prey "
    - wonderfully evocative of how last night was for me. I'd just read Anansi Boys through the night and really felt the presence of a large cat in my bedroom as I turned off the lights at 3.30 am. It's amazing for me that I should read your wonderful poem today.

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  7. It is a great poem, with a good rythm- nightmusic!
    The picture is unique.
    Hugs
    JetteMajken

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  8. in once drove through the black forest in the dark and fog - it was a three hour drive after a long day, i was alone and i prayed that my car wouldn't break down.. it felt a bit like in your verse...

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  9. well that is a rather haunting verse grace...between the limbs and the white walls that feel like they are closing in on me....

    have a great sunday.
    smiles.

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  10. Ah, so much can come to life during sleepless nights. I liked 'gnarled arms embracing black forest.' I FELT this one, Grace.

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  11. It looks like a difficult form! A bit haunting ... the walls coming to life ... and the photo is so unique, perfect for your poem. Well done all around, Grace :)

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  12. Ah you make me shiver with the haunting of those repetitions.. I get the image of poor Snowwhite running through a haunted wood..

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  13. That chandelier produces a most amazing effect!
    What I like about your poem is that it takes the reader on a journey into the world of dreams or madness, while making the fears that may prey on a person's mind seem all too familiar.
    The more I read of this form, the more I realize how important the last stanza is in concluding the theme, and yours is excellent.

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  14. I admire anyone who can muster the self-constraint to attempt a form poem, especially a Terzanelle which requires such balancing. What is more impressive is your ability to still have a creative voice within it, and craft this spinning tale of unease, which is ironically complemented by the fidgety or jerky rhyme scheme of the tercets. Nice work!

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  15. a bit ominous but truly kept the reader on the edge... liked how you use nature and man together

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  16. Your words become spectres. Very enigmatic. My favourite lines are

    Branches writhe to drumming cries
    Gnarled arms embracing black forest
    As roots crawl steadily to sky

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  17. Each adjective contributes to the eeriness of this. You really seemed to feel at home with it.

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  18. Lovley, I too had tried this form, a great combination in your poem:)

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  19. I love the haunted feel within your poem. This reminds me of the story, The Yellow Wallpaper. Your poems is spooky and so well done~

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  20. Brilliantly done! Impressive. I love the chandelier that throws tree shadows.

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  21. I enjoyed seeing this side of you, Grace. Not one we get a glimpse of very often. Well done. Hope you're having a beautiful weekend!

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  22. O, wow! My head is spinning from roots rising and branches grabbing off white walls which come(s?) to life in this darkness, lost soul. I am reminded of Gilman's "Yellow Wallpaper" but also Irving's "Headless Horseman" where the fear springs from the man's own lost soul. And that reminds me of the junk we internalize--racism, sexism, consumerism, egoism, etc--that can turn our worlds into nightmares. Well might some toss and turn, innocents and perpetrators alike. Bravo for using a haunting form to haunt!

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  23. Unique picture - the key to all! It helps me to read your poem, seriously! ~ We just need always remember what the source of fair, and it will gone. ~ So cool on the form!

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  24. The title grabbed my attention and I could feel the darkness come
    to life as shadows hover in the backdrop. Those white walls can be
    scary. Well done & interesting form.. I felt the uneasiness..

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  25. There now is a reason to sleep the night through and miss the drama of being assaulted by the night's roots.

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  26. Maybe one of these days I'll feel confident enough to try this form. Meanwhile I'll admire you for having done it well.

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  27. Nice Poem. I like the neat photograph you found to go along with it.

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  28. Oh, and I thought the villanelle was a challenge. This is so well written and you have created such atmosphere, Grace.

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  29. At first I was thinking of white wall tires coming to life. Kind of a Christine without the rest of the car. :) But it totally translates in the terror level.

    Scented prey, yikes.

    And to think you put all this into a difficult form is quite remarkable.

    I am actually sitting here with my guitar and sang the first 2 verses of this over chords.

    xooxo

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  30. Wow loved that chandelier how cool...so spooky and your poem just adds to the eerie. Loved the combination great work on the form too.

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  31. Wow! This is a lovely form and you did well using the form. You captured the creepy crawly feel of the photo. :-)

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  32. Amazing poem! And I want that chandelier! :)

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