Thursday, April 25, 2013

The last night of the full moon



the cold wind sweeps the night sky     like a clock with callous hands-
          undaunted, the last rose blooms      flaunting skin, ripe and hungry-  
                  i am not ready to say goodbye       the moon, sated, edges to dawn's death 



Posted for D'verse Poets Pub - Sijo poem - 3 lines (14-14-18)  - total must be between 
44-46 syllables 
And Real Toads - Hello/Good-bye 

Structure of the sijo poem:
Lines 1 and 2 are written in four phrases of syllables counted as follows: 3 - 4 || 3 - 4 with a major pause at the end of the line (i.e. no enjambment) and a total of 14 syllables per line.

Line 3 is also written in four phrases of syllables counted: 3 - 6 || 4 - 3 to a total of 16 syllables.

Some leeway is allowed within this structure but the end result should be between 44 and 46 syllables.


Special thanks to Showers of Roses

42 comments:

  1. Simply beautiful, Grace. We were a bit on the same wavelength today.

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  2. But as with everything back around it will come

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  3. ah we had a beautiful full moon yesterday as well...it's so magical and you capture that magic so well here...

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  4. The full moon here in the NW of WA state was breathtaking; as is your Sijo; thanks.

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  5. Oh, NOW I see the music, feel it, hear it. Gorgeous, Grace.

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  6. Oustanding! The way the outlay is here helps me understand the form a little more.

    the moon, sated, edges to dawn's death

    That took my breath away. It creates all kinds of images.

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  7. I can see a haiku poet in your flawless poetry. Moon is so right today

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  8. I, too, would wanted a last flower before I left. You have just given it to me. Thank you, Grace.

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  9. nice...the opening line...the sweep and allusion to the clock hands is a really cool pairing in this grace....nice closing image of the moon as well...apropo for tonight...

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  10. You make it look so easy. These are wonderful.

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  11. Very excited about the form. You've demonstrated the poetic possibilities for the form so beautifully.

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  12. this was done with a delicate pen... enjoyed its gentleness

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  13. I still do not completely understand the form, but there is no missing the beauty of your expression.

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  14. Oh this really gave me the feeling of those evenings that I don't want to end.

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  15. This is beautiful, Grace, as was last night's moon!!

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  16. Thanks for the explanation of the form, Grace. Sijo is new to me. I get the syllable count, min/max; it's the phrases and their purposes I will focus on next time.

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  17. Grace, I read this and I feel so inadequate. Maybe I am not ready to come back from my break from poetry.

    Lovely. lovely. lovely.

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  18. yes. this is serene, undaunted beauty... dawn's death!

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  19. Just beautiful, you've nailed this form I believe...has a serene quality, so lyrical. Lovely!

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  20. Thank you for making roses as sexy as they naturally are.

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  21. Gives a great feeling of peaceful coolness of the Spring night, what with a blooming rose and full moon for company! Nicely Grace!

    Hank

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  22. Just beautiful, and even the way you formatted the sijo makes it visually comparable to the rising-up scales of a musical composition.

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  23. ...Grace, you created a versatile format of Sijo that gives me many many ways to read and look at it... clever!

    ..smiles...

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  24. love the callous hands of the clock and the perfect yellow rose to illustrate the light of the moon.

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  25. That's really pretty. Your use of vivid imagery is delightful.

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  26. This is beautiful. I love "the moon, sated, edges to dawn's death". Amazing imagery. - Kat/@BeingMama

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  27. Grace - this is truly a masterpiece. The way you've laid out your images, allowing each to be interpreted in conjunction with both its predecessor and successor is just fabulous. I bow in the presence of such skill.

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  28. This is really beautiful Grace. I love the style of this one as well...quite unique.

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  29. Very very heavenly...could feel the glow of the moon in this sijo

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  30. Very beautiful, and I love the way you've set it out. The last line gives it a haiku-like quality: the juxtaposition.

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  31. wonderfully composed. the yellow rose image goes perfectly with your poem. the photographer is klass fidom of zoom. thanks for the special mention.
    ~ showers of roses

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  32. Well thought out as the words weave together beautifully.

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  33. This is really gorgeous, Grace.

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  34. Amazing lines ... loved the flow !!!

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  35. When I first read this, I was struck by the emotion and the drama that was unfolding. I still am at second and third reading. :-)

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  36. Well done! It's been a while since I've read this form. Like others, struck by the emotion. The pitch and sounds clicked, clicked, clicked. I was anxious and then glad for the read. Thank you.

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  37. yearnings and a bitter , sweet feeling.

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Thank you for your comments and visit. I appreciate them ~